Friday, December 25, 2009

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

Merry Christmas!

I'm so lame for writing on Christmas, huh? But I have sufficiently spent time with my family, I'm full of prime rib, and I have consumed an unusually large quantity of cookies. Every year I say I should make less, but every year I still insist on making at least 3 full batches, and thus 100 dozen cookies are created.

Um, because talking about presents is super lame and superficial of me I'll mention my friend Cathy had a baby boy recently. That sounds way more important than my desire for a spiffy apron. I know because she picture texted me. I haven't actually talked to her since her wedding. We're really quite awful friends, but babies tend to always bring forward a feeling of goodwill despite general lack of good communication otherwise. She had a boy and his name is Alex. For the sake of general personal security I'll refrain from yelling his full name from the internets.

Since I've already wandered down this topic I may as well continue this entry by congratulating Susan & Sean on their impending bundle of baby girl joy. Did I mention they were expecting? Probably not. Not that I don't think it's momentous, I just happen to think that it was so completely, ridiculously obvious that it didn't shock me when they announced it. Well, of course they're pregnant. They really wanted it and they (in my humble opinion) deserve it.

And yes, I immediately thought they would be having a girl. It was expressed they wanted a boy. Kim expressed desire for a girl and received a boy. My dad expressed desire for a boy and got me. I'm not saying I believe in bad luck or whatever. It's not quite that cut and dry as saying that god hates you and wants to spit on your dreams. I just think that the saying is true: "you can't always get what you want...you get what you need."

As a good example, I think my dad was destined to always have a daughter. The more I learn about my dad-the person, the more I realize he was a bit of a lethario. I'm not making a character judgment, I'm just saying that with the data I've been provided over my course of being alive that I know he was not an angel and he was not always entirely truthful to the women in his life. And I think that's probably got a lot to do with why he was so incredibly adamantly overprotective of me. He knew what could happen because well...he was a 20 year old man once and he probably did it. He probably tried it. And now as a father he carries on that anxiety and stress because he's aware it exists out there for his baby girl to battle against. Despite all his desire for a boy to carry on the family name and all of that usual macho stuff, my dad needed to have a girl to put his life into perspective.

Of course this puts me in the precarious position of having to analyze my husband's past behavior. haha. But joking aside, I think that god gives you only as much as you can handle. Even if you don't think you can handle a baby boy jumping off the roof, getting numerous stitches, setting fires in the backyard...hey, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. If you're scared of raising a defiant, emotional, loud, adolescent girl who manipulates your feelings and constantly gives you cold sweats about what she's up to when she says she's out with friends? Well, believe it or not you can probably handle it. If you get both? Well, you're a brave soul.

And if you spontaneously become pregnant without ever knowing the touch of a man and bring forth into the world Jesus Christ...ugh, yeah. You win. Best birth story ever.

Merry Christmas!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Fostering a Taste for the Decadent

I have officially created a cookie snob.

I finally made those cookies from the Toll House dough from the refrigerator section of and my husband doesn't like them. (It's snowing, nice warm cookies are a fun treat.) And he doesn't like them. It just figures! I've now cultivated in him a taste for real butter and real vanilla extract and and all the warm deliciousness that it implies. (This is clearly why he blames me for making him fat.)

I don't really like them either but I'm just saying...people are not supposed to know the difference, right? But he totally knows!

On a side note I think I've given up on Holiday Shopping. Am I really done? Not so much. But I'm over it. lol I like the holidays, and I like lame holiday music, and I even like Egg Nog but it's not really the same. I miss Amanda and cooking strange random recipes with her. I miss Kim not being literally attached to the baby all the time and buying me gifts that have absolutely nothing to do with any of my likes or interests whatsoever. I miss having holidays up at the Farm. It just feels a lot different this year and I know I'm an adult and change is a natural progression but it's just a lot all at once and I'm just a tiny bit sad to say goodbye to it all.

I guess it just means we have to actively make new traditions and new rituals and new things to look forward to.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

What Would Jesus Do?

You're probably wondering, "hey, did you get that house yet?"

The short answer is no. The long answer is...really really long. So I'll keep it short and sweet and just say "it's in the works." Lots of shady and weird stuff has been hitting us from left and right....but "it's in the works." My sanity and patience has been seriously tested but what other choice do I have but to trudge on through it?

I do hope that the Santa Claus I don't believe in, realizes how good we've been and gives us a house for Christmas. I just think it's fair. And I think Jesus would agree. And if he doesn't I'm totally going to ask the Easter Bunny.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Prejudiced against the Pillsbury Dough Boy

Here's a random but funny neurotic tidbit about me.

I don't typically buy pre-made cookie dough, but it was on sale a few weeks ago PLUS (because I'm an old lady) I had a coupon, so it was like $1 for a package I actually bought it. I wouldn't ever buy it for full price but for some reason when something is $1 I fall right off my high horse and I buy it. My morals can calm the heck down when something is only $1.

Stranger, yet? I have not yet baked it. It's just sitting in the freezer like some lonely ugly girl sitting on the sidelines of a high school dance.

You'd think "hey it's Christmas time, people love cookies" but I would never pawn off pre-packaged cookie dough as CHRISTMAS cookies. That's where I draw the line. Holiday food must be made from scratch or you may as well just not eat it at all. Some random Tuesday, sure. Break out the Toll House Brand package full of hydrogenated fat and preservatives, who cares? Clearly I feel bad about myself anyway if I'm in the mood for mid-week machine made cookies.

I'm strange about my food and my food prep. I have no idea where I got this neurosis because no one in my immediate family could care less if a cake came from the box as long as it tastes good. So even though I have perfectly good pre-made cookie dough in my freezer anyway I'm still going to be dragging out the butter, sugar, flour, vanilla extract, baking soda, salt, eggs...etc. and making "real" dough for "real" cookies for "real" Christmas.

Intellectually...that's so dumb. Why am I wasting perfectly good time making cookies when I have perfectly good ones sitting around begging to be consumed? I'm smart enough to realize I'm behaving irrationally, but it doesn't stop me from saying "duh, I'm not feeding my family garbage."

And Christmas isn't even that special to me. I'm not even Christian. I never even believed in Santa Claus. I'm just making the holidays into some weird elitist thing. Like anyone needs any more butter covered calories during the holidays.

And now that shared my crazy with you I've likely made you feel guilty about not making everything from scratch for the holidays (sorry 'bout that)...

Happy Holidays! Merry Kwanza. Happy Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Festivous for the rest of us...

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Secret Rewards

I'm on day 2 of my 4 day long weekend. I have PTO to burn up so why not? I have Xmas shopping to do anyway and my mind was a bubbling cauldron of stress, anxiety and general discomfort. I needed a break, if only to wander around Macy's for a bit.

But you know what? It's been really great so far. Like, much better than I thought a break from work would be. Sure I did a heck of a lot of laundry, but I was so psyched about some new bedding I purchased on Cyber Monday (it's not as dirty as it's name implies). I know...I've become far too domesticated, but SHEETS! I love good bedding. These were 400tc King sized Cotton Sateen sheets. Mmmmm. I like our 450's better but for $26 inclusive of shipping to get King sized sheets?! I'm not going to complain. They're fabulous. I'm sure as you go up and up and up it gets better but having too-good of taste only proves to bite you in the butt because you'll never want to sleep in common sheets ever again and unfortunately you have to. Like when you go to hotels and sleep over other people's homes.

I'm sure people with Temperpedic beds have serious issues sleeping anywhere other than at home.

So other than my unusual love of these sheets my Friday was great. I hung out with my husband for a bit, we had lunch together, I bought 2 more plates to expand my set and then I wandered my way to Victoria's Secret. I would usually not mention a specific store by name, but this DESERVES a mention because I received in November a "Secret Reward" card from them. This is normal. I get a number of promo things and I remember getting the same thing last year. The card has no value until December 1st. Then it can have a $10, $50, $100,...etc. value depending on the luck of the draw. As you can imagine, probably 90% of all the cards they send have just a $10 value. I know the one I redeemed last year was for $10, but by some chance when I went and asked the cashier to tell me the value before I bought anything (to prepare myself to spend within that range of value) she asked me to guess what my card value was. "Ten bucks?" "No, guess again." "Twenty bucks?" "Nope."...."A hundred bucks?" "Yup."

I got $100 for doing absolutely nothing other than being a regular customer. Needless to say, I was pretty psyched even though you can hardly buy 2 items for $100. That's not the point, the point is that I won something cool. I really needed that kick of positivity. I've been a seriously grumpy mean spirited gal lately.

The only thing that would be better is if it were a certificate I could redeem for more plates. My current obsession with homegoods is sort of sad, but I guess it's my way of expressing my excitement about the possibility of a much bigger home. The cynic in me doesn't like counting on it, but I can't help but start daydreaming about all the cool stuff I can buy to make it a really stylish home.

I probably shouldn't worry about it until after Xmas because I haven't been too successful thus far. My list of gifts still left to buy is still kinda long and gifts cost money. Money that probably shouldn't be spent on me. But at this rate I'll never find what I'm looking for anyway. I've been aimlessly searching for a tempered glass pitcher to brew tea in. Apparently all the glass pitchers ever made in life are not tempered and therefore if I put hot boiling water in it, then try to throw in ice (thus iced tea) it'll crack and break. I haven't been able to find a tempered glass one. I have a plastic one but I'm slowly becoming brainwashed to believe plastics are evil and the chemicals will slowly kill me.

Anyway, becoming a hippie aside I think things are moving along pretty well. I'm a little nervous still but I suppose I'll continue to be until my signature is on that paper and our attorney congratulates us on our new home. I might be terribly unbearable to be around (unless you really like talking about glassware and plates) until then. You have been forewarned.