Sunday, March 21, 2010

Giving the Razor the Stink Eye

I've been teeter tottering between how to approach this subject without sounding really weird or racy. It's not racy at all.

But if you happen to know me you might know that I hate shaving. I just hate it. I can't stand the stumble, I can't stand the repetitive regularity that you have to do it. I can't imagine being 90 and leaning over trying to shave my legs. I'll just tell you now that it just isn't going to happen. I'll just be that really hairy 90 year old, thanks.

Despite my ire, I don't want to be that random weirdo with hairy man-legs. Not that I have anything against it, but the social stigma is too much for me. So I actually find a lot of interest in hair removal alternatives beyond the razor.

My favorite for a while was the Nair Sugar wax system, which I guess I'd liken to cheaper Nad's. If you were alive in the 90's you are all too familiar with the infomercials that Nads made. Oh Nads. What a wonderfully colorful name. But sugar wax is kind of like wiping caramel on you. It's really sticky and it gets everywhere and if you don't close up your tub correctly you have sugar crystals everywhere to deal with. Ick.

I've tried a few others since I think Nair discontinued my favorite kind in the tub. Everything good always gets discontinued. Anyway...so lately I've been making due with whatever Sally Hansen product catches my eye in the aisle of my local drugstore. I'm not crazy about it but it works fine. Mostly I have difficulty reopening the packages after I've used them once because they will seal themselves shut with their sticky contents never to be reopened again.

And I've already regaled you with my tales of threading.

Now? I'm going to have to tell you my epilator story. In case you don't know what that is, please click here. Now that you've been sufficiently scared by the close up of the head I can tell you I got curious and I got my hands on one for VERY cheap. Like I've bought cold medicine for more money. Bargain hunting aside, I was really nervous about 42 pinching metal pieces ripping out my hair at the root. Even though I have pretty much no feeling in my legs anyway, I'm still a bit intimidated about that kind of hardware so close to my tender flesh. What if it pinched my skin and made me bleed and I looked like I had some horrible rash? And because I got one for so cheap if it would just be junk and I'd regret not shelling out $100.

I will not keep you in suspense forever. The epilator did not rip my legs apart. In fact it didn't feel like much of anything, but I do preface this by saying the nerves in my legs are all dulled to such pain after so many years (YEARS!) of waxing them into submission. It hurt significantly less than waxing but I do think it would probably hurt like crazy if you had never even endeavored in a wax before. On the hurt scale, it's pretty mild.

I like it. I might be a permanent convert now, I'm THAT sold on it. No one even paid me off for this glowing recommendation.

Update: I tried it on not-my-legs and it was awful. Not so much I'd never do it again but I'd liken it to being pricked with a needle repeatedly. Like, really really repeatedly. If you're okay with being wildly stabbed with needles than I suppose it wouldn't be an issue to try it out. You may want to pop an aspirin before you start to preemptively hedge your bets.