Kelly B.com

Bzz Bzz...Burts Bees....Bzz

2011-10-20T21:43:00.001-05:00

First, what the heck is a bzzagent? Go HERE to find out if you want. Otherwise we'll get to the meat of the story.

Personally I love talking about products. I cannot talk enough about things I love and have done so at great annoying length previously on this blog in exchange for nothing. Zero. Nada. I even dished out over $100 on Vichy lotion (no lie) just because I like it that much. To actually try something without such a ding to my wallet each time is perfect for me so that's why I became a Bzzagent.

I've had a few campaigns so far but I haven't felt the need to talk about some of them but I finally got a few beauty ones and oh boy, I love getting free beauty products in the mail. I don't even have to leave my house and deal with my cute but mischievous child getting antsy in a shopping cart. Plus my coworkers LOVE me because they get a ton of free samples and coupons without having to join or sign up for anything at all.

I got into the Burts Bees Sensitive Skin Solutions campaign and also the Frederick Fekkai campaign, so I was psyched.

I'll start off by admitting that I do not have sensitive skin. I have combination skin and I all I look for is balance. I don't want anything to be too goopy oily nor do I want a cleanser that rips out every single speck of moisture from my face. I tend to believe harsh cleansers irritate skin into overcompensating and producing too much oil which leads to worse and worse oily skin and acne issues. So I was really surprised how much I loved the cleanser that's part of the line. It's not soap based so it might freak you out that your cleanser doesn't sud up but despite that it still feels clean and it's so gentle I could probably open my eyes while washing my face and never feel that stinging chemical feeling. The lotion was okay, nothing particularly amazing but not oily. Not greasy. Hypo-Allergenic. For the price it's a perfectly good lotion. Having spent considerably more money I like how rich expensive lotion sinks in like velvet but I may try out their Radiance Day Lotion because it has SPF built in and the reviews are very positive. I like a day lotion that has it all built in, especially for the summer months when the sun feels like it's constantly beating on you. I understand people with legitimately sensitive skin may not react well to SPF so that's why they likely left it all out. There are different products for different people so it bodes well that my general feelings are positive and I'm curious about their other lines.

Jumping Jack...er...Kelly

2011-09-24T22:22:00.000-05:00

I have started going to the gym.

Yes, Me. I am also baffled by this.

The truth is that I made time to nurse and pump for my baby for seven months of his life. Even when it was terribly inconvenient and I was tired at 3am and I looked like a blind hobo dressed me...I still did it. I still found the energy to follow through and just do it. People do it everyday! It's best for the baby!! It's only a little bit longer!! Exclaimation POINTS!!!

While pumping and gyming might not seem immediately related I figure that if I could dig that deep and find the energy for my kid, I would be short changing myself if I could not find a few moments each week to take care of myself. To give myself more energy for my family. To become the hottest momma at the sandbox. I wanted it and I was convinced I could do it. I'm only getting closer and closer to 30 and what do I have to show for it? I might be thin but thin people die of heart disease too. I have a family that I need to be around for.

So far I'm already into week three and I am no longer hobbling like a 90 year old person so I think from here on out it'll be a lot easier to maintain. I mention it now because I want to remain motivated and sometimes I think this is the best way to make myself accountable. I want it so badly but it's easy to rest on your laurels when you haven't slept well and there's no fresh food in the house and the piles of dirty laundry actually eclipse the washing machine they should go into. Balance is unbearably difficult, but no one looks back and regrets not doing their laundry timely enough.

I do a once a week class, and I tag along with a pal for some cardio on the elliptical machine but once I get a bit more stamina I think I'd like to tag in one more class a week because I feel like someone demanding I do jumping jacks works and me doing them on my own? Well it just looks ridiculous. Between my long limbs and crazy frizz hair (from all the sweating) it looks like someone's shaking a pile of spaghetti around. I don't know how anyone looks good working out.

...So Are the Days of Our Lives

2011-08-21T21:52:00.000-05:00

Other than boring mom stuff you're probably wondering what fills my days. I'll breeze past the boring stuff like laundry and grocery shopping and admit that in the few moments I have left to myself I have become fond of online shopping and getting free samples and generally trying to find deals though I do draw the line at hoarding 300 tubes of toothpaste. I grew up in a house where we never lacked in toiletries so perhaps I'm a tad sensitive but there is no logical reason you'd ever need that much of anything before it goes stale anyway. Since Trevor doesn't like clothies and he's home with the kid most of the time we consume disposables and watching my son poop away our money is sobering so if I can save a few bucks I try to. I figure every buck I can save is a buck he can use toward college, and when you put it into that perspective it seems silly not to try. Cloth nappies are not an exponentially big savings when you take into account the energy it takes to wash those things repeatedly and the time it takes out of your day to actively take care of it. Time is money after all and if you spend hours trying to clean poop off of a diaper instead of spending hours with your kid...well, that's an overall waste because you never get that time back with your baby. Trust me, my kid is already six months old. I have no idea when that happened except that now it's here and he's BIG.

I enjoy drinking coffee. I can't drink like, 10 cups a day because I'd be in the bathroom nonstop and I have other things to do, but I spend a lot of time cold brewing iced coffee, making espresso, Vietnamese Iced coffee or looking at keurigs (I have not yet committed to purchasing one but I do that with all small kitchen appliances. I also dream of a Sodastream seltzer/soda machine and a bread machine). Summer is the best time of experimentation because who wants to drink hot coffee when it's 100 degrees out? Not this lady. I tolerate Dunkin Donuts but I'd pretty much rather drink anything else other than that. $2 for a cup full of ice and watery coffee always bums me out. I don't smoke. I don't get my nails done. I wash my own dog in the bathtub. I get a haircut every six months at best. I am a low maintenance lady but the one thing I like each day that makes me feel like a grown up is a cup of joe.

I write for the baby instead of the blog. (Sorry blog.) I'm trying to cut back on my media exposure actually. I stopped reading salacious gossip blogs and I don't have time for too much television anyway. I can't remember the last time I even heard a good song because the radio is terrible. I'm even trying to cut back on facebook because I don't see the value anymore. Anyone I really care about does not post every single day because they're too busy living their lives to bother posting dumb stuff about it every.single.day. The great irony is that the only people with time to post every single day post the dull and insipid things I don't care about, like Farmville. How I loathe Farmville. It's easier to not log in and not see it and not be pissed off. I was reading an article on yahoo! about how teens are using it and are essentially addicted to the immediate validation of their peers and the number of "likes" they receive. We're all starved for validation from others that our lives are good, that we're doing the right things, that we're pretty, that we're thin, that we're smart, the kids are beautiful, the husband is great...but if you're living a false life on facebook in order to receive praise then the praise is completely empty and meaningless anyhow.

I don't scrapbook because I hate all the effort of shopping for paper and stickers and cut out things...but I don't want this part of our lives to sail by without some documentation so I've been really interested in photo books and canvas pictures and just tastefully keeping something to remind us of right now. Is the house covered in pictures of the baby? Of course not. He's got like 18 more years with us and many awkward school pictures for me to hang up. I'm not in any rush, but we have a lot of house and therefore I have to think about where I'd like to place things. I got Trevor a new camera for his last birthday but I'm usually the one wielding it. Possibly because I'm the only one who read the instruction manual for it.

(Who can possibly resist taking pictures of that gorgeous dog? Or his frito paws?)

5 1/2 months later

2011-07-17T09:33:00.004-05:00

This is going to be brief, unproofread and probably a just plain unthoughtful post but I figure that any post is better than no post after this long of a period.

Kid is 5 1/2 months old and possessed by the desire to move. Flail, crawl, walk...whatever, he just needs.to.MOVE. He's been army crawling all over the place. It's kind of frustrating but entirely adorable and expected considering who his dad is. I'm surprised he's not climbing on to the countertop and jumping superman-style off the top yet. My hands are full, my life is full, I sleep more than I did before but not enough and frankly, I'm squeezing this task in while the kid's napping. Yesterday I did 90 billion loads of laundry and vacuumed the mountains of dog fur. It's not really that entertaining fodder for a blog but it's what life is and somehow...well, it's fantastic.

Am I right where I was pre-baby? Well, not exactly but from all outward appearances I can fit into all my prepregnancy clothes and shoes and I am the envy of every woman in my office. I have to admit I haven't gone to the gym a day in....several years but just because I'm not working out in the traditional sense doesn't mean my body isn't taxed. Exhaustion plus breastfeeding takes a lot more out of you than you'd imagine. I am back to work and it's been nice to be around people who speak in sentences instead of just yelling at you and pulling at your hair. I have a lot more respect for stay-at-home moms now because I don't know how they stay sane. It's a pretty solitary and thankless job. No one pats you on the back for loading up the dishwasher while hanging on to a screaming child after walking the dog.

Ultimately you do what works and what works for me will probably not work for anyone else. Personally I detest big bulky strollers and love baby-carriers. I don't let my kid sleep in my bed. I haven't given my kid any formula yet. I don't give my kid a pacifier...but I don't care if you let your kid sleep in your bed. If I had twins you'd bet I'd have given up on breastfeeding way before now. And my kid just has no interest in pacifiers so, why bother picking that stupid thing off the floor 90 dozen times a day? I have effectively stopped judging other people for how they raise their kids because we're all just trying to survive it.

And just this once I'll indulge in a picture of the child.

Hello Again my friend

2011-04-25T10:27:00.003-05:00

How does one pick up seamlessly after many months away? I've been thinking about it for a long time and I've decided that it would be silly to try and relive every major event that's occurred in the past few months because with a newborn everything is a major event. This post would be 4 feet long and I'd hardly scratch the surface of what actually happened. So what do I do? Ignore the fact that a small human has joined our family? That seems like an impossibility given that I spend all day up to my eyeballs in baby and as a result my mind goes right to baby-mode. I can't stop talking about the baby because he's right THERE, demanding all my attention and energy and love.

To all who are concerned, he's healthy and feisty and my mother thinks he's a genius in comparison to me at his same age. I'll try not to be offended by the fact that means by comparison I was an idiot baby and just focus on the fact that the kid's rocking through his milestones. His birth was...normal-er than the births experienced by some of my peers. No c-section, no inducement, no breech baby...and at least it was fast. I was admitted in the morning and by the afternoon I had a baby in my arms. None of that 72 hours of labor nonsense for me (thankfully). I had wished it to be a more natural birth without an epidural and everyone in the room insisted I could have but there were unfortunate complications that were out of my control, so I caved in and had the epidural and I'm glad I did. You have to do what you feel is necessary to get that baby out and when I thought about it I wasn't doing myself any favors by being exhausted and uncomfortable and miserable during what I anticipated to be one of my most important life experience to-date. You don't get a medal at the end because you sacrificed more than the lady in the room next door anyway.

I feel different, I suppose more like an adult and I don't want to tolerate nonsense from anyone anymore. Life is simply too short to fraternize with people who don't really care. And the fact is that I want to have strong people in my son's life. People whom he can count on and who won't flake out on him. I admit I am not perfect by a long shot, but he's my world and I want to give him the absolute best I can. And if I'm willing to give that to him, why am I willing to accept any less for myself?

To Post or Not to Post, that is the question

2010-09-28T21:10:00.008-05:00

The baby's doing just great. The ultrasounds were beautiful. The doctor even used the term "perfect" to describe it. I know the gender and I am working with family on plotting a baby shower before the snow starts flying. I am however going to admit that I do not want to explicitly share my baby with the internet.

It's been a really hard decision for me to make because I tend to believe in openness and communicating in an open atmosphere but in my heart I do not want to share. I want to keep this baby close and safe and protected and I don't think that the internet is a safe or kind or nurturing place for an infant and I do not want to be that parent who struts their kid around like the prize pig at the fair. My job is to protect this little soul, not to exploit it.

For me, my kid is a kid not a status symbol. I don't care how many comments or "likes" I get about my baby. He/she is going to be the most beautiful thing I ever laid my eyes on and not a soul in this world could tell me otherwise. I know it's easy to live vicariously through your children. They physically are a part of you and it's easy to assume they're an extension of you but they're their own individual right from the get-go. I want to let my kid realize their own potential and find their own path and make their own mistakes. One day my kid can have their own internet presence but for now? Just be a kid. Just be a baby.

It goes by much too fast.

My what a two years it's been

2010-08-31T00:01:00.002-05:00

Happy 2 year anniversary to my Trevor.

A year go we didn't have one of these

Or one of these

And now I can't even imagine a life different than the one we have.

And I certainly didn't see this coming

And baby makes...4? (I realize that might be the smallest bump you've ever seen but trust me, it's there.)

Sorry for the hush-hush. It takes a while to internalize that you've got a tiny human being developing inside of you and to decide how much of that person you'd like to share with the internets. I've decided for me that we're sharing very very little because one day when he or she grows up they're likely to lament what I've shared and there's enough to be embarrassed about when you're 17 without adding in pictures of your naked baby bottom floating around for all of the internet to see. Consider it a case of me proactively shortening the area in my kid's autobiography where they blame me for everything that's wrong with them.

So there it is. Baby's coming this winter. We're finding out the gender next month but I'm not sure if I want to share it with anyone right away. (Consider it a compromise since Trevor really wanted to find out and I did not want to find out at all.) I've had no nausea. I sleep great. I have no food aversions and I thank the baby every single day for being such a breeze because I will most likely not be so lucky the 2nd time around.

Hiatus

2010-06-23T20:59:00.003-05:00

I like to think I try and guilt myself into updating about once a week or two even if whatever I write makes no sense and is rambles incoherently...hey it's the internet. No one cares about that anyway.

Kids actually put texting shorthand into the things they write because it's so normal to them they think it's appropriate to put into a paper. Sad.

Anyway, commentary about the disintegration of the English language is always fun but...I have a side writing project.

I admit it. I'm cheating on the blog.

So I may be light on updates as my creative juices are simmering elsewhere.
Don't think I died. I did not die.

Am I sharing this project via the intarwebs? I don't know. I guess I'm on the fence about that because it's much more personal and the intarwebs? She is mean. Full of lurking jerks with cheeto fingers. And I have to fence in my feelings because I will inevitably hurt someone's feelings. I am a feeling hurter. I love Brussels Sprouts. Look, I just hurt the feelings of someone who hates them. It's inevitable.

Details will be forthcoming but give me at least a few weeks to work the bugs out. We're plotting a housewarming in July-ish and there's tons to do before we're really open house ready. Many tiles need to be laid. Much swearing shall be emanating from my husband and the general kitchen area. Lots of dust will be all over the house as the mudding process gets revved up again. But the summer is already slipping by us. It'll be painfully hard to do any of this come winter when we won't want to open any windows.

Hazy shade of summer

2010-06-21T22:03:00.004-05:00

Been nursing a bit of a cold. Probably from running around in the rainy weather before. I kind of want to sleep all day and the things I swore I wanted to write about have all fallen out of my head in a haze of exhaustion.

I'm not sick very often so when I am I am entirely out of my element. Even though I felt awful recently I still made dinner, organized the kitchen, vacuumed and tried to assist my husband around the house. I'm probably not doing myself any favors by running around instead of resting but resting feels like a waste of a day and each day has a long list of necessary tasks. Like going to redeem cans and buying bread and getting blueberries to munch on. All very important things.

This summer should be an interesting one. The Cape Cod Cottage we've spent so many summers at is going to be demo-ed and replaced with a bigger, newer, shiny house where my bonus momma will be living full time. So I have no idea when we'll go to the Cape because we don't really have a place to crash without begging around for a room but I want very much to introduce the Pup to the ocean. It should be adorable.

Other than being sick and annoying I really did have things I wanted to write about, like my cousin Suong getting engaged recently and that her engagement party is scheduled for this August. Can I tell you how out in left field this is? At least to me? She was just talking about meeting him for the first time and suddenly they're on the fast track to marriage. Crazy kids and desire to shackle themselves down to a life of monogamy. I haven't ever met this guy so I hope he's nice but in more selfish news it'll fun to have a wedding in the family. A traditional Viet wedding at that. I've already been tempted by talk of a whole crispy roasted pig at this engagement so I'm practically salivating at the thought of a 10 course dinner reception.

Nevermind the fact that my cousin looks like she's 10 years old and will make the most adorable little childbride you ever saw. It'll be fun teasing her for the next year or so. People give me a hard time about my weight but to put it into perspective she's at least 3 sizes smaller than I am. I got her a double zero dress and we still had to have it sent to a seamstress to be taken in and hemmed. If I ever feel bad about my chicken legs and protruding collarbone I need only to look at her and I suddenly feel rather voluptuous and meaty.

In food news I'm trying to pack on a few lbs so I'm not in that ugly "underweight" portion of the BMI and my doctor doesn't have even more reason to tsk tsk me. That's meant eating something for breakfast everyday (even weekends) and lunch everyday and dinner everyday. It blows my mind but since I'm up at 7 every morning anyway to take care of the Roni I may as well take care of myself. It sounds ridiculous but I haven't had 3 meals a day since...I don't know. That one time I stupidly signed up for a full course load only on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I could have four day weekends every weekend? And that was only because I'd faint from exhaustion if I went from 8am to 6:30pm without breakfast and lunch to fuel me through running around in circles on a gigantic campus. V8 mixed with Tabasco and a bagel with cream cheese AND honey. That was one of my favorite grab 'n go meals as gross as it sounds.

Makes me want to run out and get some V8.

Puppies, Babies, Weddings and Beirut

2010-06-13T17:44:00.004-05:00

Clearly I spoke to soon. Takesies backsies anyone?

Lex and Mike eloped this Saturday at Wickham Park on what would have been their planned wedding date anyway. It was very last minute even though they had originally planned to be wed on that day and they've been engaged well over a year but all the most important people seemed happy, albeit rather harried. Since Amanda's been in town anyway I've kind of used her as my go between with Lex and this whole wedding because to be rather honest I thought Alexis fell off the face of the earth and hated me for some confusingly unknown reason. I'm not saying I'm perfect but I try really hard to be empathetic. Rather than bother her about it I just preferred to not push the issue any further. Getting married, or not getting married or eloping is a pretty stressful thing without dealing explaining it to every Tom Dick and Harry. Because through the 1+year of plotting this wedding it's shrunk from a 300+ guest event to a 50 person event to a 30 someodd person event to an elopement with slightly over a dozen attendees. I can only imagine that trying to explain to one of the people who thought they'd be invited when the wedding was 300+ that hey, plans have changed is a rather challenging and daunting task.

Long story short I did attend the elopement in my pre purchased bridemaid dress (everyone else was wearing theirs anyway) but I did not attend the following dinner because I had a dozen cars at my house and a large number of guests I was being a terrible hostess for so I had to return. We were hosting our 2010 Family Beirut and naturally it was the only day that I had so much happening all at once. And it was raining so the old adage that "when it rains it pours" was very apt. But it was a great, fast rain-free ceremony. By some chance the rain held for them and some photos and one of the guests kept insisting I looked like I could be the sister of someone they knew so they asked repeatedly to take pictures of me as I guess proof of this. It was very cute.

I was exhausted. I am exhausted. I'd like to sleep for like, a month. I didn't win Beirut of course but Trevor did very well. He got all the way up to 2nd place through determination and a lot of online game playing in his spare time to sharpen his hand-eye coordination. But with age means neither of us drinks very much at all anymore so unfortunately towards the end I thought he was going to fall over unconscious but he roughed it out and is perfectly fine today. I'm happy to hostess because I love feeding a crowd but man is it hard to do when you have to juggle so much and when the weather sours and everyone's inside your house and your dog is insane from all the attention and hoping people drop food. I made pasta salad and hand formed hamburger patties and teriyaki chicken skewers and Amanda made deviled eggs and helped generally prep. I purchased a ton of beverages and hot dogs and rolls and chips and hope everyone left full and happy. I had more plans to make more things but ran out of time since Trevor insisted on finishing up the bathroom renovations and would not stop badgering me to help so guests had more than one toilet to utilize. To be blunt I don't think they cared too much either way but that it mattered much more to Trevor to have a semi-completed project to show as proof of the progress of the house.

Like he wanted me to weed the garden box outside the door. Insisted it would take like an hour. Well, realistically it took like a day because every weed in there has roots like a MOTHER and it takes forever to locate and dig and pull them out. I'm not a gardener either. I have no idea what I'm doing except that I'm digging and I'm pulling and whatever I'm pulling needs to be disposed of. Also my best friend is in town from New Mexico for the first time in like 9 months and she's only available for a few days so the minuscule amount of time she's around I'd rather spend it with her instead of in a box full of bugs and poison ivy for 2 days so I was already on edge without him being a slave driver about the whole issue. It'll get done...really it will. Perhaps not before you can show it off to your family but eventually. We've already worked ourselves to the bone. I don't know how much more to give before having a full on physical and mental breakdown.

I guess I have a very lackadaisical attitude about it but the house has been standing for over 100 years. I don't think a few more weeks of being in construction zone mode is that big of a deal. Kind of a drop in the bucket, right?

In puppy news our fuzz baby is doing much better with his house training and generally acting like a dog. He's bigger and bigger and yet I insist on holding him like a baby. I love how frisky he's been and I love that he's still a big sweetheart who likes to rest on top of my feet and be nearby me. Sure it's inconveniencing when every time I move to get up he bolts awake so instead of getting anything done I'm resigned to be his pillow, but it's nice to be loved. When you're so tired it's the little things that you get you through the day.

At family Beirut I met Avery for the first time and held her. I must be brainwashed because the only baby I'm around is Kim's Ty-Ty and he's 7 months old so in comparison Avery's a little peanut even if she is like 10lbs and in newborn language that's huge. If she were any tinier though I'd be concerned about holding her. I vaguely remember feeling the same about Tyler when he was first born too. The only other other baby I'm around is like 30 lbs and a dog with nails and teeth that like to dig into me so it's light as a feather picking up these other kids. I'd carry them around all day no problem.

Refreshed

2010-05-31T20:03:00.006-05:00

Today has been amazing.

I feel utterly revitalized and everything that was bothering me has melted away into a puddle of inconsequential goo.

We went kayaking down part of the Farmington River today with the Pup. He wasn't terribly pleased but he was significantly happier when his butt wasn't sitting in standing water. He is a great water lover but seemed very confused about the current pushing at him and feeling out of control of where he'd end up. I don't much blame him but the poor dear was crying an awful lot. The weather, however? Beautiful. Sunny and warm but not hot and the water was refreshing. And the scenery was stunning even though it was right down in my own hometown it looked so much more special.

It was like seeing the world from a different perspective and I needed that. I really did. I just felt so terribly downtrodden. And I typically hate physical activity. I feel like that's all we ever do between chores and the house and puppy but this was a nice respite from the norm and I still got to spend time with two of my favorite guys.

Squares of Insanity

2010-05-30T07:52:00.005-05:00

I guess I should just say it because I've been ignoring it for months. Lex's wedding has been postponed so, unfortunately no wedding this June. No rush of getting your hair done that morning. No pretty dresses to wear. No tiny favors to wrap. Because the underlying reason for this postponement are hers and hers alone there's not a lot to expound upon except to say that if you have any reservations in your mind about what you're doing then you're absolutely doing the right thing to push the pause button and if anyone judges you for it then they're not a terribly understanding friend or aunt or whatever. It's a huge decision to make and not one that you take lightly after over a year of being engaged in the first place.

Moving on to a different subject, Amanda's still coming to town and I hear Cathy's coming into town as well, so I am elated that I have friends that will be in the area even if they're schedules are busy with seeing everyone else who has missed them all of these months. Cathy, like Kim, has a small child so I don't genuinely expect that she'll be out gallivanting late every night she's in town but I have already committed Amanda to squeezing some time for me, for cooking and a great big hug.

And it's about that time again for the Family Beirut tournament so we'll be hosting the grand event. I'd have reservations about this except that everyone's already seen the house in absolute shambles so the fact that it's slightly improved now will only prove to be a vastly superior to the previous times our family members have seen it. The reservations I have are mostly that our bathrooms are in pieces. The only bathroom that is fully utilizable is the watercloset on the first floor. The rest have bits and pieces that function and then gaping wholes where things are missing and while I've somehow managed to be okay with that, I think it's a bit unnerving for guests to need a roadmap of which bathroom to use depending on what they have to do.

At least it's family, right? They can't judge us too much. Clearly it's been a work-in-progress from the very beginning. And once the bathrooms are updated and the tiles are in for them and the kitchen? It'll be actually functional. Sure it may need some more paint here and some more sanding there and some serious doggy deodorizing but that's going to be the rest of our lives anyway.

My parents have been in their house for years and the list of improvements never stops.

The latest is the kitchen tiles because of course we had to go and pick a natural stone on sale and of course now we're obliged to go through each and every square and inspect it to make sure it's "good" not cracked, the right color composition and the right texture because natural products are not uniform. By nature of being made by mother earth they have serious inconsistencies that, while beautiful, it may not be cohesive to have a gigantic white quartz splotch in the middle of your walkway. So yeah, fun times standing lifting and inspecting hundreds of tiles. Literally. I've probably held on to 400 tiles and each one is a gajillion pounds.

Clearly people choose easier things than this. You don't have to manually inspect each tile if it's a manmade from a mold somewhere in China and quality inspected anyway.

I guess we're secretly masochists.

Shiny Speckled Counters as far as the eye can see

2010-05-27T20:50:00.006-05:00

Somebody finally has a beautiful granite kitchen countertop.
But somebody is not sharing any pictures of it because she'd rather have folks come see it when we finally get the housewarming together.

Yes we are planning to have something this summer. I think the constant work we've been putting into the house has made it easy to become hermits. And now that we have a dog who needs human interaction? The pup loves us despite unwashed hair and bad social skills.

Kidding aside, I love this dog but he is waring on my last nerves with the biting. Hardly a day passes where he doesn't break the skin and I'm wiping blood from my arm or hand. Seriously. My arms are a weird roadmap of scratches and nibbles. Between eying his poops and cleaning up wounds I'm really beyond exhausted. I love him but it's been something that wears on you.

The bones have not come out. Repeat. The bones he ate like a MONTH ago have not come out. The vet says that if he's pooping regularly and happy and frisky then chances are he's going to slowly dissolve it with his stomach acid. This is probably way too much information, but I cannot express the guilt I'd feel if my pup died because of a lodged bone. The horrible horrible guilt. So we have to keep an eye on him just in case it's giving him any issues because a big bone could seriously pierce THROUGH his stomach or his intestines and that's not a good time for anyone. Other than that? He's healthy and happy as can be which is good because if he was sickly I'm pretty sure I'd blame myself somehow and make myself feel more stressed out and sickly than I already do.

Not that I'm throwing myself a pity party. Plenty of folks have it worse off than me...I just want a break for like a morning where I'm not worried about him peeing in his crate because I slept in. I can't sleep in for fear he's going to explode into little doggy pee-pee shrapnel bits. He's a boy...it could happen.

In non puppy non house news (and dude I would do anything for non house news right about now) Susan had her baby girl, Avery and now there's a tiny new member of the family. Well, perhaps not so tiny because she was a bruising 9lb 1oz but nonetheless, she is new and Trevor's already met her and I have not so I'm already jealous. But it's not like she's going anywhere, she can't even sit up on her own yet so I have plenty of time to get a snuggle.

Weight of the World

2010-05-16T21:42:00.006-05:00

I am ugh..behind in posting.

Have I mentioned I don't believe in owning a scale? Not because I'm overweight. Rather, it's the contrary. I am naturally slim but I have a bit of a streak of obsessive compulsive when it comes to my weight. So in my experience it's better to just not know. Not put the temptation in front of me. Not to have that number scream at evil judgmental thoughts my way.

But my dad asked how much the puppy weighs now. My guestimation is a lot. I carry that little guy around like he's a big sack of sugar. He's such a sweet little cuddle bug and I don't care that he's going to be gigantic one day. Right now he's a puppy and right now I get to hug him and cuddle him. But anyway the point is that dad was curious and asked if he could weigh Roni. Well, sure. Why not?

But you can't get a puppy to sit on a scale, so I had to carry him. Well, long story short the weight of me and the Roni is under 140lbs and I started to immediately panic that I was dying. Of death. Right then and there. I would just fall over from being too frail. This is why I don't own a scale. I go from reasonable to unreasonable in like 0.2 seconds.

Now there's not a lot I can do other than try and pump up my diet with more substantial fare. I'm not anorexic. I'm not bulimic. I'm just stressed out and I can't find the time to eat because my job is stressing me out. I'm grateful to have a job but it's putting a serious dent in my ability to be a healthy human being.

I love to eat. I just don't have time. I have a broken kitchen. I can't even go to the grocery store for more supplies I want because who will keep an eye on the puppy? My husband is climbing all over the place fixing the house. And naturally I'm expected to help fix my house too and I'm just.so.very.tired. I don't want to not help, but I also don't want to die of exhaustion in a sad heap of chicken legs and gangley arms on top of a gigantic pile of leaves out in the yard as my husband yells at me I gave him the wrong screwdriver.

It's a pretty sad way of passing.

Work's been rough for Trevor too but mostly because he's been tasked with hiring for a new position and pretty much everyone's been a gigantic flake. That's my professional opinion of the matter. I realize it's not the most glamorous job of all time but I feel bad that he's had such a big streak of inconsistent employees. And it was only worse when he hired someone we know because they ended up being the worst flake of all and now I will never think of that person as anything other than completely undependable.

I guess it's just best to put a big line in the sand and say no to friends and no to family when it comes to something that has a direct financial undertone. Trevor's job puts food on our table and now he looks like he intentionally hired someone due to nepotism and it underscores his own professionalism. I'm a tad upset about it because people can mess up their own lives and quit jobs in their own time but when it effects us? I am not a happy camper.

It's been a lot of things. A large pile of stress combined with a severely handicapped social network. I don't know what it is but everyone's been bailing on me and strangely enough the only person who's been consistent lately is living in New Mexico and I can't want to see her and prep her guestroom and decompress. I don't blame Kim for being busy though, she's got a kid and she's finally finally going on a vacation. I don't think she's been on a real one in like 6 years. If anyone deserves a trip it's her.

Trevor says he's going to miss all the projects when they're done. I could not disagree more. I can't wait until the bathrooms are finished and I can finally just do my own thing rather than be my husband's gopher. I'd rather shop for furniture and cook in my kitchen and buy curtains any day. And right now? I have no time to do any of that. I can't wait for just one day all to myself.

The Mommas and the Puppas

2010-05-10T17:32:00.008-05:00

House is coming along. I wish I could tell you I finally had counters but, ya know you get used to whatever you have and I hardly mind the cement board and the wood planks we've been using in the meantime. There's no more visible pink on the first floor. Can I tell you how momentous that is? How much more normal our kitchen looks, even with no tiles on the floor and a ton of junk on top of the cabinetry. This might be how normal people live.

I was reading this article that Nia Vardalos wrote about Mother's Day after finally becoming a mother this year and it nearly broke my heart because although I'm never that person who would ever ever ever assume someone is pregnant without like, a written documentation of the fact and like 3 sonograms I can understand how women have a build in competition. To be the thinnest. To be the most fertile. To be the smartest. To be the most successful...and it's just true of people from all walks of life. Whether you're a celebrity or a little sad peon like myself. You take your own inadequacies and you project them outwards as a snide comment or or mean biting reply and you hope to tear people down so that they're as hate filled as you are.

On a brighter note...hey, MOTHER'S DAY! I treated my mom, dad and Trevor to a Mother's Day feast of scallop and shrimp lasagna rolls with spinach in a homemade cream sauce, a huge mixed greens salad, roasted garlic, store made rolls, deviled eggs and fresh fruit as dessert. I stress the store made rolls part because I made everything else. I even chopped up the pineapple. I was thinking about baking something for dessert but glad I didn't because everyone was so full they hardly ate the strawberries I hulled. Plus my mom hates chocolate and sweets of that nature. She'd always rather have fresh fruit. I wish Trevor's mom could have come but it was sort of an "on the fly" meal I decided on the morning-of. A task that I might add is much harder with a dog that insists on sitting right on top of your feet when you make things in hopes you'll decide to drop some food his way. He even grabbed at some spinach before he realized he didn't like it or actually want any of that green stuff.

I wish I cooked more but it's so hard to pull together with a discombobulated kitchen and the Pup always having little "mistakes". Hopefully come this summer we'll have the ability to pull together a proper housewarming party and we can eat a delicious homemade meal. I need good practice if I genuinely intend on hosting Thanksgiving one day.

I adore this puppy. I know that's really boring reading and I sound like every other crazed pet owner, but...I'm sorry he's glorious. And having him makes me realize that love has no boundaries. Whether your kid is your own flesh or adopted or an entirely different species you can love if it's inside you to share that love.

Happy Mother's day! I hope you have someone to share your love with.

Spare Ribs

2010-04-29T21:29:00.004-05:00

Roni ate some bbq baby back rib bones...whole.

If that's not enough to give me a heart attack I don't know what is.

To cut to the chase...he's fine. He's as frisky as ever but we have to closely observe him because there's a good chance he'll pass it. But if he doesn't he's going to be rather uncomfortable and verbal about it, so either way we have to stay attentive to him and inspect his poop for bones or blood. What a sexy thought, right?

Because everyone gets a dog to deal with piles and piles of poop.

But he's acting perfectly happy and content so I guess my worries are still unfounded. I was really pissed at Trevor for giving him those bones in the first place but I understand it's not explicitly his fault. Roni was going to eat something whole eventually anyway.

Wanna see our little man? He's huge already and I'm lamenting the loss of puppy but I'm rather proud of what a handsome little fellow he is. But I'll be psyched when he's 100% house trained and I don't have to wake up so darned early to let him out. Trevor gets out of morning duty but in exchange for that he has to work the night shift. Compromise is the root of any good partnership, right? Perhaps one day we'll be entirely on the same schedule again and I'll see more of him beyond him barking mean orders to me all weekend long as we work on the house. I'm not a handiman, okay? I'm just not. I never claimed to be strong or that I know anything about tools but since I'm his partner in life I somehow end up being forced to hold up things and know what he means when he yells the same demand using the same words 3 times in a row getting more frustrated each time before blowing up and doing it himself.

I didn't understand it the first time so yelling the exact same words again in the same order only proves to not clarify anything except that being a jerk comes far too naturally once he's slinging tools. Is it a guy thing? We get along wonderfully otherwise. Or am I way too laid back? It's just a house project. It's hardly as though we're working on the vaccine for cancer.

Since my kitchen is still in pieces I can't report much on the cooking front. I will however admit I got a 2nd hand meat grinder attachment to use with my Kitchenaid mixer and it's fantastic. How did I function before I could grind my own meat? Clearly it was an empty existence to not be able to buy cheap cuts of meat and make my own mix for meatballs, dumplings and burgers at my leisure. I registered for one but never got it. It was the only attachment I wanted too, which I guess is always the case. I'd like a pasta maker attachment to ease my desire for raviolis but that can wait for another time. I'm the only one who's wild about raviolis here anyway but it'd be a nice treat to have some shrimp and crab filled ones with a cream sauce. I've bought into the hype. I love this mixer. I'd like all the attachments now, please.

Who's House? Roni's house.

2010-04-25T22:00:00.004-05:00

Puppy motherhood has been interesting. I wish I had a lot to talk about but it's mostly just been a monotonous repetition of the prior day's events.

Wake up way earlier than I should so he can go do his Roni business outside. Take him inside. Prep his breakfast. Watch him eat it and make sure he's being pet and doesn't get overly possessive and aggressive about his food. Play with him for at least 10 minutes or so. Take him out again to relieve himself about half an hour after eating. Take him back in. Make my own coffee. Try to pack something to eat for lunch. Get dressed for work and then my day actually begins and I go on my way to the office.

Then he spends the day with Trevor and I take the pup out again once I get home. By then he's typically exploding with joy to see another one of his humans.

He's extra frisky lately. I don't know what happened to the timid little puppy we got before but he's been replaced with a much more outgoing people friendly dog. I think he's starting to realize this is his home now and there's no reason to be timid when this is his domain and nothing genuinely scary happens here. He loves playing on his back and knows how to sit and stay on command. I'm certain he understands a lot more than he lets on and often sits and stares at me. Trevor and I call it his Jedi Mind Trick. It's like he's trying to communicate to you that he wants to go outside and poop.

House news? Water closet is now reassembled. New tiled floors. Toilet is back in. Vanity is back in. Pipes are all hooked up and operational. Now we just need the light fixture put in.

Kitchen cabinets are lined up and mostly zipped in. No counters. No tiles yet. BUT (and this is a big one) the pink is now gone and replaced with a cream-colored paint.

My sweet sweet Pupperoni is not making it easy to complete these tasks. I am perpetually nervous about him eating paint and sniffing things he shouldn't be and I'm too much of a softie to lock him up in his crate all day. What's the point of having a dog if you keep him isolated all day long? But we're making fantastic headway and the kitchen should be pretty close to done once we actually get all the cabinetry zipped in. Then it's just a matter of getting the granite installed and the tiles laid. The rest from there is all small detail work we can take our time on.

Pupperoni's First Week

2010-04-11T10:25:00.004-05:00

Pupperoni is settling in fine. He's...eccentric. And not in that puppy way that everyone hears about with the chewing your shoes and eating your homework and pooping on the rug. That's normal puppy stuff.

My Pupperoni's first night was fraught with anxiety. The poor dear hardly moved.

His first day? Mostly spent in his crate. He was just so overwhelmed that I think he felt that if he stayed in his crate at least that was a smaller less crazy start. He did warm up considerably with the addition of very tiny tennis balls that he could fit into his mouth and play with.

His second day he was more like a puppy and less like a cat. He played. He licked. He chased things. And each consecutive day is another step closer to success. My mom already thinks he's a genius, but I guess that's natural for all grandmothers to say. But he can recognize his name and sit on command so it says a lot about him. He knows his puppy parents and he loves us enough to give us many snuggles and licks. He's had a few visitors lately and has been a very nice pup. I hope it helps his socialization to be showered with so many different people and smells and positive experiences.

He's pissed off at the mop and growls at it but he is absolutely shaking frightened by the vacuum. The pup hates the vacuum and will cry and hide in the kitchen far far away from the noise. He loves his toys. He loves laying directly on top of me when he naps so I am immobilized. He is very timid about outside apart from the small bit of yard he's decided is "safe" and every loud car or motorcycle stops him in his tracks.

I get the feeling that being the most passive of 18 puppies likely meant that poor Pupperoni was also likely the most taken advantage of by his more aggressive peers. So being the sole puppy in our house will be good for him to grow and assert his independence. I was a little concerned that having just one dog would mean that our dog would be lonely and starving for companionship but sweet Pupperoni would be dominated by anything. If our fish could jump out of his bowl I'm sure even he would be more of an alpha male than Pupperoni.

He's not half as troublesome as I had prepared myself for. He does chew but he's a baby...he's teething. He doesn't chew excessively, let's put it that way. He hasn't destroyed my sofa or made it a point to chew my shoes to shreds. He does rather enjoy sitting directly on top of my shoes with his head laid out on top of them but I think it's got more to do with the scent of his humans and less to do with destruction.

We've been talking about it ever since we first moved in together way back when, but I would never want to force a puppy to live in an apartment with me. I'd also want to avoid the massive pet deposit I'd likely never see back again. Thankfully we have our house now and Trevor works at home and can take the puppy out at regular intervals and stimulate him. I don't think you're giving a dog a good life if he's alone the vast majority of the day while you work, shop, do chores, etc. and 8+hours every night when you sleep. You wouldn't do that to a baby. At least your kid is stimulated in daycare by other kids and teachers. Your poor dog has nothing better to do all day except destroy all of your beloved possessions and make a gigantic mess to show you he's seriously pissed off.

But all seriousness aside he brings us a lot of joy. My parents came over with their camera yesterday purely to take pictures of their puppy grandchild and coo over how smart he is. Clearly they are ready for grandbabies, STAT. But the furry assortment will just have to work for now because we have a lot on our plate without adding severe nausea and swelling to the picture. It's easy for everyone else to say we should have babies, it's quite another thing to actually be the one carrying that kid around for 9 months. Mom thinks he's a sweetheart. Dad's constantly bribing him with treats so they'll be best friends. It's very cute.

Puppy Time!

2010-04-06T17:23:00.009-05:00

Hi Internet, we got a puppy! Wanna meet him?
Isn't he precious?
I know I was concerned about the whole labrador thing but who could say no to that? Or this?(Please ignore the rolls of insulation. DON'T JUDGE ME.)

We've been talking about it for a long time but the opportunity arose today pick him up because he was the very last of his litter and his breeders were rather anxious to give him a home after placing all the rest of his siblings. They described him as their mellow love bug. I was sold. He's rather gigantic for 8 weeks, but he really is a sweetheart. He didn't cry, bark or whimper the whole ride home.

We're working out the name but so far I've been calling him Pupperoni. Because I like it. There's really no amazing story to go with that. I like food names. I was also open to calling him Blanket but Trevor thought it would be creepy to call our dog the same name as the kid Michael Jackson dangled over a balcony. True enough. But really, all the good names in LIFE have already been taken by somebody somewhere.

Pupperoni is currently engaging in some puppy dreams and twitching away on my rug next to my feet. I'm sure he'll be a handful tomorrow but today? He's all tuckered out from all the adventures.

Double Your Stoves, Double Your Fun

2010-03-31T21:58:00.006-05:00

House, how's the HOUSE, Kelly?

That's what our families are always asking. If you're tired of house talk, turn away.

Our water closet on the first floor has been though an awful lot. That poor little room. When we first bought the house it had a shower stall and a toilet. Seeing the obvious problem with going to the potty and having to rinse your hands in a shower stall we pulled that shower out and placed it on the 2nd floor (for now) and were living okay with a vanity in it's place. However, like with a lot of things in the house the water closet still needs work and so this past Sunday it got gutted. The toilet and vanity are now in my kitchen (my poor kitchen) and Trevor's been working on fixing the wall there to be more sound proof. It's one of the very few walls through which we can hear our tenants. Otherwise the house is so massive that I can't even tell when they're home. I covered up the pink paint (yay!) and we've bought new tile to lay on the floor in lieu of the cruddy vinyl they had down which was peeling up anyway. And Trevor is working on routing the trim so it matches what's hanging around the rest of the house. Once the mudding on the drywall is all done I anticipate having to bust out the paintbrush again, but at least we're like 90% done with this horrible hot pepto pink.

The kitchen is still in a really sorry state and I can't possibly host Easter with a toilet in the middle of my kitchen. Kind of not a good impression to make on guests who hope I'm feeding them non-poisonous food. But things have been ordered. We'll have a beautiful kitchen yet! It just takes like 3-4 weeks to get the cabinetry and then of course the countertop and picking out our slab.

Once the water closet is done then it's probably on to the 2nd floor bathroom. That'll be another big project but after THAT? Then I think it'll be smooth sailing.

For anyone worried about my eating habits now that we have two functional stoves we've been eating...and WELL. I got us lobster and pate and bread and we had a good time making a decadent mess. Yesterday I made some box-dark chocolate cupcakes and although the pan wanted to slide out because the floor is not level beneath it...my cupcakes came out evenly. And the ones with cream cheese filling? Even better. I had leftover cream cheese from a stuffed french toast experiment over the weekend so I put little dollops in the cupcake tins.

Cream cheese plus seedless raspberry jam with a touch of sugar whipped together smeared between pieces of french toast served with maple syrup. And mushroom onion cheddar cheese quesadillas on the griddle for Trevor as a snack. And yes, I consider that a snack and not an actual meal. Yesterday we had pizza with spinach, mushrooms, onion, scallops and pesto and extra virgin olive oil drizzle.

So the ovens have been really fun thus far. I can make a ton of things all at once, but a few of the elements are different and I have to get used to managing the flow of gas to get the right heat. I have almost burned myself a few times from not realizing how hot the handles of my pots get but I haven't melted or burned anything yet. Given that Trevor will bark at me to help him IMMEDIATELY when I'm right in the middle of cooking something it makes me very nervous to be away from a rumbling stove.

I need to take pictures of the progress. I know. I need to have more pictures of me too, I know. I'm in this weird growing out phase with my hair so I'm not feeling in peak form. I really need a trim to clean it up and rough up my hair into layers, but meh. I go into work with paint on my hands and have been told I've "got a little speck of something right....there" more than I'd like from all my after-work painting. I won't be too surprised if I get pulled aside and lectured on taking better care of myself and projecting a more businesslike appearance. Exhausted part-time painter and handiwoman with broken ragged nails covered in paint splotches. What a model employee I am.

Joking aside, I think of this is a training period because I can't even get pity from coworkers because 99% of my coworkers have kids and live in a perpetual state of sleep deprivation.

So this is what it's like to hardly function.

The Random Scoop....on Poop

2010-03-24T20:42:00.010-05:00

As you may have already noticed, I have really random luck. Not particularly "good" or "bad"...just random.

Like, that $100 gift card a few months ago.

Like constantly getting hit by other drivers in my car and it not being my fault and my car perpetually being in the shop. If it was good luck I wouldn't be hit. If it were bad luck, I'd be horribly disfigured and hurt. As it stands I'm perfectly whole and healthy.

And I apparently tapped into some more random luck.

If you haven't already guessed I am a bleeding heart. I don't want to be a crunchy granola chomping hippie but I'll be damned if I don't secretly want to wear all organic clothes and throw away everything I own that's plastic. Dirty Dirty Petrochemicals. As it stands I don't want to shave my legs, but that's another story.

So these hippie tendencies in me tend to make me want to secretly save the world. I don't have a brand name one, but I have a stainless steel water bottle. I also have a not-quite-as-fancy Rubbermaid one that I like mixing up my Crystal Light in because it's way easier to clean. It's really hard to get into the neck of a stainless steel one and that's my #1 reason for not using it more often. If I can't clean it right I don't feel good about drinking out of it. My coffee cup is made of recyclable materials and can be recycled once I am done making my use of it. And I try and use the reuseable grocery bags whenever I can remember and when my groceries aren't too drippy and gross and would end up leaking right through them. (ie: fish, lobster, chicken) I don't make it a point that I'm a little eco-conscious because people who rub it in other people's faces are self absorbed jerks who only want to pat themselves on the back and feel superior. I don't care to feel superior to anyone. In fact I know there are people who are 40 billion times more eco-conscious than me, but it's not a contest. You just do it because you should do it, Period.

Anyway, my point is that part of me likes to read up on random green products. Like gdiapers. Well, of course I throw my name into a sweepstakes and of course, of all the people who could possibly win I won me one of these.

Yeah, diapers. No, I'm not pregnant. Yeah...my husband looked mighty perplexed when the gigantic package came but if you're going to let me try an otherwise slightly expensive item for FREE that happens to help the environment? Why not. I'm all for it. And if the claims are the be 100% believed these gdiapers inserts are flushable, compostable and just plain tossable if you're not in a position to flush them.

Does that not blow your mind? When I was a kid there were only two options. To be a clothie kid and have your diaper held together by safety pins, or to be a disposables kid. And a disposable diaper will sit in a landfill for 500 years. They simply do not decompose well because of all the plastic they use in them to keep your diaper unleaky. And yes, I agree there is nothing grosser than a poopy diaper blow out. Gross.

I'm not above saying that disposables are simply a way of life and it makes things easy and when you're a parent you got to do what you got to do to survive. I'm not going to play sanctimonious jerk because I don't even have a kid. What do I know? Nothing. You're always going to run into a situation where you are on the road and you cannot possibly use anything else. But I also think that it's worth trying out alternatives and seeing if they'd fit into your lifestyle too. Like, I didn't think reusable grocery bags where a particularly good idea and then I grew to like them. At first I thought "why would I pay for something when they give it away for free? They just GIVE away free bags. Where is the incentive? I don't understand what the appeal is." But now I think they're less likely to bottom out and the handles are much stronger for heavy purchases like gallons of milk and tubs of detergent. They hold way more groceries per bag and the handles don't hurt my tender girlish hands. It takes me minimal effort to bring in the bags to the store and now that I have some I don't really need more. I always liked to recycle the plastic baggies anyway, but then it saves me the effort of recycling them because I don't have a big pile of them to bring to be recycled.

So I can't give you a full diaper report yet, but if this whole gdiaper thing is just as minimally invasive as the reusable grocery bag thing I'm sold. I'm willing to change my perception of what is "normal" consumer behavior if it actually ends up being a superior product.

Giving the Razor the Stink Eye

2010-03-21T22:16:00.012-05:00

I've been teeter tottering between how to approach this subject without sounding really weird or racy. It's not racy at all.

But if you happen to know me you might know that I hate shaving. I just hate it. I can't stand the stumble, I can't stand the repetitive regularity that you have to do it. I can't imagine being 90 and leaning over trying to shave my legs. I'll just tell you now that it just isn't going to happen. I'll just be that really hairy 90 year old, thanks.

Despite my ire, I don't want to be that random weirdo with hairy man-legs. Not that I have anything against it, but the social stigma is too much for me. So I actually find a lot of interest in hair removal alternatives beyond the razor.

My favorite for a while was the Nair Sugar wax system, which I guess I'd liken to cheaper Nad's. If you were alive in the 90's you are all too familiar with the infomercials that Nads made. Oh Nads. What a wonderfully colorful name. But sugar wax is kind of like wiping caramel on you. It's really sticky and it gets everywhere and if you don't close up your tub correctly you have sugar crystals everywhere to deal with. Ick.

I've tried a few others since I think Nair discontinued my favorite kind in the tub. Everything good always gets discontinued. Anyway...so lately I've been making due with whatever Sally Hansen product catches my eye in the aisle of my local drugstore. I'm not crazy about it but it works fine. Mostly I have difficulty reopening the packages after I've used them once because they will seal themselves shut with their sticky contents never to be reopened again.

And I've already regaled you with my tales of threading.

Now? I'm going to have to tell you my epilator story. In case you don't know what that is, please click here. Now that you've been sufficiently scared by the close up of the head I can tell you I got curious and I got my hands on one for VERY cheap. Like I've bought cold medicine for more money. Bargain hunting aside, I was really nervous about 42 pinching metal pieces ripping out my hair at the root. Even though I have pretty much no feeling in my legs anyway, I'm still a bit intimidated about that kind of hardware so close to my tender flesh. What if it pinched my skin and made me bleed and I looked like I had some horrible rash? And because I got one for so cheap if it would just be junk and I'd regret not shelling out $100.

I will not keep you in suspense forever. The epilator did not rip my legs apart. In fact it didn't feel like much of anything, but I do preface this by saying the nerves in my legs are all dulled to such pain after so many years (YEARS!) of waxing them into submission. It hurt significantly less than waxing but I do think it would probably hurt like crazy if you had never even endeavored in a wax before. On the hurt scale, it's pretty mild.

I like it. I might be a permanent convert now, I'm THAT sold on it. No one even paid me off for this glowing recommendation.

Update: I tried it on not-my-legs and it was awful. Not so much I'd never do it again but I'd liken it to being pricked with a needle repeatedly. Like, really really repeatedly. If you're okay with being wildly stabbed with needles than I suppose it wouldn't be an issue to try it out. You may want to pop an aspirin before you start to preemptively hedge your bets.

Have paint will travel

2010-03-16T21:41:00.005-05:00

Lex asked for another post so here it goes.

Apart from the mild euphoria of squeezing into those jeans and losing all feeling in my legs and slightly bruising my hips (which by the way, do not whither away as quickly as I do) it's been more of the usual. Weekends spent at Lowe's. Looking at granite slabs. Looking at cabinet swatches. Feeling generally nauseous about the cost. Ya know. The usual.

I'm a little confused about this granite versus marble thing because I've had laminate or tile in my other kitchens and it's been fine. I think it looks cool, and I'm kind of excited about the prospect of having a cold surface for chocolate tempering and dough rolling but otherwise? I just wish for a kitchen that works. My needs are pretty modest. I don't even need a funky back splash or granite light switch covers or a tin ceiling or built in bar sinks or anything.

Other than that I've been painting things, mudding up holes and generally sore from standing precariously on top of a ladder with my arms up over my head. Going in to work with paint in between my nails and spots under my neck. How embarrassing. But you can't get into all the corners of your built-in cabinet without crawling around upside-downy and dripping paint on yourself. At least I can't. Upside down painting kills me. I can't avoid looking like a mess. The prior owners were lazy painters though and didn't go all the way into the corners and they did not go all the way into each crevice of the molding. What jerks. First they stick me with hot pepto pink walls and then they can't even paint correctly.

I'm a tired lady but I'm looking forward to Lex's wedding. I figure by then I am owed a break from painting and will likely take at least a week off. The planning is fun and I'm excited about seeing the girls and being all together again. I miss Amanda terribly. Who else appreciates my Boston Creme Cupcakes as much as she does? Perhaps nobody. Speaking of food related projects, Trevor seems to have faith in me being able to make fancy apples for Lex's favors. I generally have faith in me too, even though I broke my candy thermometer during the move. If she actually wants me to do it, I would. I'd need to many more cookie sheets to hold all the apples on but I dipped like 500 chocolate pretzels for my own wedding so I think 40 apples is a cake walk.

Just one for mankind seems like plenty

2010-03-04T22:41:00.006-05:00

I'm going to tempt fate for a hot second and tell you something you totally don't want to hear.

I squeezed into those zero jeans! It's not in the slightest bit comfortable but I wriggled, zipped and buttoned up those 7s. My butt kind of looks like that model's too...really flat, but whatever. I accept that as an unfortunate side effect of being thinner than usual. That fat's gotta come from somewhere, right? In about 8 hours I'm likely to just slightly too bloated for them, but for now? VICTORY.

And designer jean victory, she is sweet.

(I probably just made 39049090 enemies right there, but hey the recipe for such success is packing up a house worth of stuff, going up and down eleventeen billion steps from your 3rd floor apartment, not eating the meals you want to eat when you want to eat them and generally being overworked and underpaid. Easy, right?)

Babysitting has got to be good practice for something

2010-02-27T10:37:00.011-05:00

Usually I'm not very timely with my posts but just in case you had your hand on the trigger waiting to call DCF, babysitting was rather successful in that it was totally uneventful. Kim's baby is perhaps the most laid back a child can be without the aid of say, anesthesia. He let everyone hold him and didn't seem in the slightest bit concerned that we were all strangers that smelled different than his momma and made weird faces that him and repeatedly tried to eat his tiny feet.

Kim finally saw the house, and if she were slightly closer and didn't have, oh ya know, a small infant to take care of I imagine she'd love helping out painting, decorating and generally taking advantage of my shiny new appliances. Obviously I'd love help. I can't do all this myself, after all, but she's got different priorities than the rest of us do because of the baby and I'm totally understanding that he's the number one on her list. In fact, if he wasn't her number one priority I'd be a little worried. But she's taken to motherhood like a fish to water, which she admits is even a surprise to her.

Number one on my list is a varying thing, but right now it tends to be associated with the house. Curtains. Cabinetry for the kitchen. Bathrooms that look like proper bathrooms with actual tiled floors. Painting a TON of stuff. Guest room furniture and bedding. The list just keeps on expanding each day.

Naturally the next thing anyone asks about is baby. I know. Everyone sees us in this big giant house and then wonders when we'll fill it with the pitter patter of tiny feet. Well, maybe sooner rather than later but not in the way you'd first anticipate.

We're in the market for a puppy.

And my friend Stephanie bellows "nooooooooo don't do it!" from where ever she is right now, but I think it'd be nice to have a pet. I've never really had a proper pet and having a puppy kind of forces you to get your rear outside. And I know short walks don't seem like a lot but they are when you're a sedentary soul like myself. It'll be good to be forced to get OUT.

Now the problem of course is that we don't entirely agree on puppy breed. Like it could POSSIBLY be that easy. Trevor wants a Labrador Retriever only. His list of approved dogs is pretty short. Just the one because he loved his previous pet a great deal and wants another. But I'm more open to the idea of a medium to small dog of mysterious mutt-like breed because while I love love loved Trevor's old dog it was a rather big task to transport a full sized lab around with us in our tiny little cars. And bigger dogs, although very very sweet natured, tend to create bigger bills because they need bigger everything. Bigger crate, more food, large vet bills...you name it. And that's a big responsibility. We have enough bills as it stands without adding in a whole other (albeit fuzzier) mouth to feed. Trevor was mightily tempted to buy a puppy a few weeks ago when we were eying them in Manchester. I was pretty fond of the little red dachshund she puppy and Trevor was in love with the little red boy lab puppy.

You're probably wondering why we don't start smaller, but we actually do have a pet. We have a fish. A stray fish nonetheless. And YES you can have a stray fish. You can have one when the previous tenants in the unit you were living in left their fish behind in a fruit bowl and clearly had no intention whatsoever of coming back from him. It's not like he was old, or had serious medical issues, or was a huge burden to have around. He's a fish. You don't even have to take him on walks or pet him or really do anything.

And yes he's still alive. And he's rather funny. I think he's so old he doesn't have a ton of vigor still left in him so he just floats around a lot and makes Trevor think he's dead but then magically reanimates. And attacks your finger. It's like his version of playing catch. Clearly this is fantastic practice for a puppy right?

Save the children

2010-02-25T22:46:00.006-05:00

So complaining about my life and my house not-withstanding, how are things?

I'm endeavoring on babysitting my friend Kim's kid tomorrow. Wish me luck. I hope not to inadvertently scar him for life. But since he's only like 4 months old he won't remember any of it (thankfully). I joke that I hope baby doesn't hate me, but in all seriously I hope he doesn't because I'll feel like a world class failure at life and that I will never be cut out to produce offspring and my poor husband will have to deal with me whining about how my sub-par mothering will result in crazed emotionally unstable children with bad hygiene.

Joking aside (and yes that was my version of joking) I'm sure it'll be fine. It's not like I'm babysitting for like 12 hours. I'm more or less holding her kid for like 2 hours and then she'll be back from her long awaited pampering since I chipped in for a massage for her in like October and I gave her a salon giftcard for a haircut shortly after bebe TyTy's arrival into the world. Because buying a gift for the baby was way too obvious I thought it was much better to gift something to his mama. If I can't survive a few hours, even if the kid is wailing at me the entire time, that's pretty pathetic.

Speaking of babies, Susan's is getting closer to being cooked. Her baby shower is scheduled for like a month or two from now. I'm not sure what to do about that one but I have plenty of time to acquire a sufficient gift. I've been a little lazy with gifting because the house is eating all of my money away, and because I have no time or energy to wander about and look for thoughtful and endearing gifts. Not like it takes a lot to incite some ooohs and ahhhs at a baby shower. Pick something very very very tiny and someone's going to think it's cute. Tiny socks. Tiny hats. Itty bitty hair clips. It's all good.

Right now my biggest project is curtains. Lots and lots of curtains. It's really no joking matter. I have 11 windows just in the great room alone. And I'm a fan of patterned curtains over sheer panels. So of course it's rather an interesting endeavor trying to find some we mutually agree not to hate, and then hoping the store has enough of them available so our room doesn't look like a hodge podge of found items. And that's just ONE room. I have a whole house riddled with windows to slowly bankrupt me.

My hope is by summertime that it'll look a lot less disconnected. At this rate we're not likely to have anything ready for Easter, but it'd be nice to throw a BBQ when things warm up. I really do want to entertain and do something.

Roughing It

2010-02-21T22:13:00.004-05:00

Updates? I have a fridge. No ranges because they didn't fit into the 60" spot they're meant to be in and Trevor had to unfortunately refuse delivery. The description listed one size and when the came? Surprise, too big. I had my heart set on finally being able to cook something. We ordered replacements from the store's direct competitor...ya know, because that's the right thing to do to really stick it to (insert air quote gesture here) The Man.

I have a new kitchen sink faucet because the last one was broken and although it would dispense water would do so only at one super fast velocity and it would splash everywhere all over the entire counter and you. I'm happy I no longer leave the sink soaked from head to toe.

We have a number of rugs now after much argument with Trevor about how I think it's pointless to have beautiful wood floors if you insist on covering every single last square inch with rugs. He's of the mind that we need them to protect that floor from heavy foot traffic and keep our feet warm. I'm of the mind there's nothing worth protecting if no one ever sees it and if you're cold you need to seriously consider more layers of socks and slippers because no rug is going to keep your tootsies warm for more than a second.

Thankfully we have a microwave combo thing that Aunt Deborah got us as a bridal shower gift so we're not entirely sitting around cooking beans in a can over a flame from a burning trash barrel, but it's kind of sad seeing this glorious stainless steel french door refrigerator and then vast emptiness all around it. Also? I think our neighbors must think we're super eccentric. We have some seriously random furniture, window coverings and appliances right now. I will admit that Trevor is using a garbage liner in one spot because he got so desperate to have the light not blind him mid-day.

It's funny that we even have stainless appliances because I think they're terribly overrated. Like, it's nice from a distance but if you actually cook in your kitchen you'll notice fingerprints all over the place within about 2 seconds. And if you wipe them the wrong way you scratch the surface thus ruining that glossy sheen. And as the kitchen person I'm inevitably going to be the one wiping all these surfaces.

I love my husband and I don't intend to make it sound like he doesn't clean. He does a LOT of manual labor for the houses but when it comes to cleaning he gives me this look and says "oh we should clean that" and what that honestly translates into is "oh you should clean that because I'm going to lift heavy stuff and you don't want to do that do you?" And the honest response is no. I don't want to lift a heavy thing from the basement to the 3rd floor but despite my not doing the equivalent in physical labor, I'm still doing work and I do not appreciate your tone because you're making me feel like your maid instead of your wife. And thus goes the ongoing battle between men and women because I'm never going to be as strong as you are. I'm just not; I'm not built that way BUT I still want to be considered your equal.

I make it sound horrible but it's not. I'm just making an example of it because projects like this house will be the death of your relationship if you let them because you're so physically spent and inevitably you're growing more and more financially spent as you continue spending money on your big grand project. And equality is such a big thing for us in many of the other aspects of our lives that the obvious physical discrepancy suddenly pushes itself to the surface. I guess I'll add that to the THINGS I DIDN'T KNOW BEFORE I GOT MARRIED list. Home Improvement may be dangerous to your relationship.

So, while I am not starving to death (at least not yet) I think I have to admit that living without a range or oven is seriously putting a cramp in my style. So I borrowed a hot plate from my parents because my mom has a ton of random appliances. In case you live under a rock, a hot plate is a portable cooking device; mine looks just like the spiral heating element from an electric range but it's singular. The downside of a hot plate is that if you are a vigorous chef you'll find the entire thing will move. So instead of just moving your frying pan you'll find you've moved the entire frying pan and also the hot, dangerous heating element below it. Now I understand why they ban these things in college dorms.

It's been a lifesaver even though I secretly hate it. This might be the very antithesis of the Viking range of my dreams. A single electric burner that takes like 20 minutes to heat up. I guess it's only slightly better than living off of microwave pizzas and tv dinners. I always kind of run past that freezer area full of Lean Cuisines in the grocery store. The pictures are deceptive and the food inside is never ever as pretty.

Living in this house right now is kind of like glamorous camping. Especially the part where I don't know where half my belongings are hidden. I only just found a box with most of my socks a few days ago. Before then I was totally stealing them from Trevor.

A House is not a Home without You

2010-02-14T22:59:00.006-05:00

We got the house. Finally.

The problem with that is that I've been so busy packing, cleaning, painting, unpacking, reorganizing and buying stuff that I've become terribly unsociable and grumpy and tired and generally unlikeable.

But after working 8 hour+ days at work, running to our multi, changing, throwing together some boxes, running them all down 3 floors, packing up my car, driving to the new house, unloading those boxes from my car and then painting, cleaning and generally tiring myself out until about 10pm when we go back to the multi, shower, sleep on an air mattress because all of our other furniture is at the new house and repeat. I know, I know, I signed myself up to this. But it's really exhausting and to describe it would be pointless because it's just a haze.

My mom's been worried about my constant g0, go, go and thinks I'm making myself sick. She doesn't even know I've been skipping lunch, consuming nothing but coffee all day long and then gobbling down sandwiches or whatever other garbage for dinner so I don't pass out from lack of nutrients. I didn't even TELL her and she apparently knows. It must be some kind of mom intuition. She can read me like a book. On the bright side? Maybe one day I'll wiggle into those size zero jeans before I keel over and die.

But we accomplished a lot. The floors on the first floor were sanded and poly-ed (by professionals). Plumbers came in and moved the shower on the first floor to the second floor. The jacuzzi on the second floor to the third floor. And they hooked up the gas line in preparation for my new gas ranges. (Which have not been delivered yet due to some snow related delays.) Trevor, my dad and Devin worked off and on, on the floor in the side-apartment of the new house. Carpet folks came in and redid the upstairs of the side-apartment. Kelly scrubbed a lot of shower stalls from a green moldly color back to their original white and swept and mopped a lot of dust bunny ridden floor. Many trips were made to Home Depot. And we covered the hideous pepto pink in The Great Room with a slightly less hideous yellow that I thought would be more gold but surprised me by being rather vividly yellow. It makes the room look sunny so I can't complain too much.

The house? Well, I have a hard time describing it without sounding like a pompous weirdo. In fact, when my husband describes it I almost want to flinch in embarrassment because it's really not that special and it's not that extraordinary. It's just really, really big and it's previous owners were apparently related to Liberace because they had a serious hard-on for chandeliers. I've possibly never seen more chandeliers in one place than I have in my own home. It's a little strange to think I'm that person because we just happened to fall into this house at a good time. It's not like we desperately needed another home under our belt.

And in a way I'm a little ashamed that we've done all this because I'm sure it must incite a flicker of jealousy. I don't think anyone should be jealous of us because we're breaking our backs working on this place and we'll probably be sacrificing every weekend for the next few years renovating, cleaning, moving furniture around...etc. Obviously we've already started playing musical bathrooms moving around tubs and shower stalls. It's a heck of a lot of physical labor. We're not rich enough to just hire contractors to do it all for us either. This is very much a labor of love. We didn't even have money for real movers like Trevor originally promised because the actual house and all the things we needed to purchase ate up the moving funds. The Boston contingent of our family came and helped move big furniture Trevor thankfully did not expect me to help him move. My mom and dad and bonus mom came to paint. Most of the time it's just me and Trevor but I'm rather happy to see the outpouring of familial support. It makes me feel like this is a family's home. It's not just a box that we happen to reside in, it's a place people actually want to come together.

Zombified but still Alive

2010-01-24T15:58:00.007-05:00

Work has totally eaten up all my time. I even went into work on Saturday for a few hours to kick out some work that I knew I'd never get to complete otherwise. I feel awful because I want to have a good work/life ratio where I actually, like...live. Like, a LIFE.

So with that said I don't want to stress any more about it than I already do when I wake up at 5am stressed out about how I should load XYZ file as soon as I get in the office Monday.

I roll my eyes just listening to myself. It's so uninteresting but I'm drained and I'm a horrible updater as a result. I'm also a horribly inconsistent chef and my husband has on, more than one occasion, been left eating olives and crackers because there is nothing pre-made for him. I'd feel bad, but if he wanted to he could always fry up some eggs and toast but he is not that person. He's more of a "if there is nothing I can reheat in the microwave there is nothing to eat" fellow. I think he'd rather resort to eating all the pickles and drinking all the milk before venturing to pull out a frying pan.

I'm been racking my brain trying to think of easy food to make, but that would require going to the grocery store and getting appropriate ingredients. Normally I wouldn't mind it, but since we're perpetually on the fence of moving due to this house thing I don't want to buy more food if I can avoid it. In fact I've been trying to find ways to squeeze beans, salsa, tomato sauce and pasta into everything.

In other news, since I've been promoted up to Matron of Honor (MoH) by my friend Lex. I'm trying to rally the troops and make a bachelorette gameplan. So far we're throwing around some really fun ideas. I think it's a good mental distraction from my own life to refocus and think about someone else and something positive I can do. Sometimes when you feel powerless and confused in our own life you just got to keep moving, keep going, and refocus on something you do have control over.

Since she's a reader I'm not going to spoil my plans by sharing them with the internets but I will admit that I'm a little neurotic in that her wedding isn't until June and I have a ton of time left to get all the girls on one page. I certainly don't want to plan on say, taking a group of balding guys to the salon. Or taking vegetarians to a BBQ joint. You gotta play to your audience.

Due to some unforeseen circumstances, Alexis's is the only wedding on my schedule for 2010 and I want it to be amazing for her. Particularly because I know that they aren't in a position to throw money around, I want to give her something excessively special...if that's even a thing. EXCESSIVELY special. Not just that I bought her an expensive gift. Anybody with a credit card can do that. Having a supportive system of friends looking out for you, keeping you happy and playing interference when Uncle Larry is behaving a little extra grabby is priceless. It's better than a million Dyson vacumes.

So while I'm painfully stressed out, anxious, and stretched thin I do find pleasure in the little things. I have to. I couldn't make it through the day otherwise.

Call me up on your video phone

2010-01-15T23:00:00.009-05:00

News? Ugh, nothing good, so I'll just say things have been happening but most of them not-so-much things I want to talk about because I totally believe in jinxing things.

For example? My husband went to NYC for a business day-trip. He got there just fine. Hopped on the Amtrak and was at the conference hall just fine. He insisted on taking my phone because mine is a normal cell phone. I told him he should then give me his for the days "just in case" and he brushed me off. I know when he's listening to me and taking me seriously and I know when he totally doesn't think what I'm saying has merit; this was one of those times. He didn't think it was a big deal and I'd be fine without a phone for one day. And I am the first to admit that I am not a phone person, and often forget the darned thing or keep it on vibrate.

Well, inevitably things go wrong. He misses the last train from NYC to our town. He'd have to take a train to New Haven. I'd have to go pick him up. Okay, okay...I can do that. I hate driving and I hate it moreso in a broken crashed up car but I'm not going to leave my husband stranded. So at around 7pm after a long delirious day at work I drive all the way to New Haven (about an hour away) and then I sit. I wait. I wait some more. Well, unbeknownst to Trevor although he got on the very next train to New Haven it was not an express. It's never an express when you need it to be. So he didn't roll in until around 9:15 and by that time I'd been sitting in a cold car for over an hour freaking myself out about how my husband might have gotten lost, mugged by ninjas or is sitting at some alternative entrance I don't know exists at Union Station even though I had been there once and thought there was only one MAIN entrance.

You can bet I gave him a big "I told you so" about taking both cell phones.

It was mighty satisfying.

So that's kind of the pattern of how our days have been. No one's been hurt. Everyone's healthy. But I'd be lying if I said all these mini-heart attacks make me a sparkling ray of sunshine. I'm a little antisocial. I'm a little irritated. I might think the world is falling apart because the counter is covered in bagel crumbs from my husband not ever wiping it down (it's his thing) and my laundry is growing moss because it's been so long since anyone washed anything PLUS the pile of dishes in the sink has apparently taken all the spoons. No more spoons for ice cream! Now that's just sad.

Thank god I don't take care of any other living things. I don't even have a plant I water. I used to like 3 years ago but after I went on a trip (perhaps Japan?) and left it at the office to die I have since decided to spare things from being tortured by me.

On the bright side? We spent some time with Trevor's Aunt Deborah and Uncle Henry. We ate Korean food. Pretty cupcakes. Yummy popovers. That was amazingly free of mini-heart-attacks.

On another random bright side? Lex upgraded me to Matron of Honor. Makes me feel way old. Like WAY old and my job is to chaparone the young bridesmaids and make sure they get home before curfew. Joking aside, she's already got a Maid of Honor and I'm almost annoying in my desire to be helpful, thoughtful, and courteous. Like I prepare lists of possible reception sites and I gave her a bridal veil and I donated many hundred yards of tulle and brainstorm unreasonably long lists of bridal shower themes.

I am one of THOSE people. I can't help it. I just worked so hard and so long researching things for my own wedding that if I can save you from like, 10 hours of being neurotic I would love to. It's amazing how many hours I spent looking at stuff I'd never normally care about. Anyway, with all the other 'maids out of state/out of country I guess I'm in charge of rallying the troops and at least getting the ball rolling on bachelorette planning. Lex already shot down my idea of a male clown that later turns into a creepy stripper. Now I gotta start right back at the drawing board! (The thoughts that run through my head would probably not be socially acceptable but I have many thoughts and eventually one of the 4293 billion ideas has got to hit the nail on the head and Lex won't shake her head in disgust, shame and mild confusion.)

Here's the problem though; things I think are cool are not bachelorette level cool. ie: I'd love to take a professional cooking class and learn how to make something ridiculously complicated. Something with lots of chopping and dicing and marinating and rolling and using tiny paring knives and exotic ingredients I can hardly pronounce. But that's not cool. And I'd love to host a proper English tea while wearing a gigantic rimmed hat and white gloves while noshing on finger foods and cucumber sandwiches. It'd be a good excuse to buy a beautiful tea set and really cool hat. But that's not cool either.

Clearly as I get older my definition of a good time becomes increasingly questionable. If it were up to me we'd go outlet shopping and then sit around drinking girlie novelty drinks.

Ringing in 2010 with a bang

2010-01-02T13:04:00.006-05:00

Happy New Year!

Let's start off with the fluffy stuff. Did I make a resolution? Not so much. But I hope to focus our lives in the new house and be much more organized. I can't stand the piles we have floating around now. There's so little space everything is on top of everything and it's a bit discombobulating.

Hand-in-hand with that is to throw away/give away everything we don't actually use. I think we're always have way too much of what we don't use and too little functional furniture or storage. I could use a few dozen less bottles of body fragrance type sprays and a few more shelves.

I spent my NYE with my friend Lex and my husband. It's amazing how increasingly calm each NYE gets. If the world doesn't end in 2012 I entirely anticipate sleeping right through it. I used to be out there in a not at all weather appropriate outfit trying not to be killed by drunk drivers and now I can hardly be bothered with leaving my living room.

In much less fluffy news I got into a small auto-related accident at a 4 way stop. And no, not at all related to NYE. And it doesn't bother me in the slightest that my car is a little mushed. No mechanical damage. No physical-me damage. If truth be told my litany of car issues is almost laughable. Things just happen to me as though I'm a magnet for it. What I'm pissed about is that the little teenager that hit me said to the police officer that I ran the stop-sign and I did not run it. I don't run stop signs period. I've lived in this same town my whole life and I know how vicious the police are about traffic infractions. They literally sit and stake out near stop signs so they can snatch you.

I'm going to try and be unbiased about it but it infuriates me when someone decides to lie. I often piss off my husband with the extent of my inability to stray far from the truth because I just feel awful. It's not in me to straight up lie to someone. In fact it's much more likely I've said something mildly off-color and upset them because then I seem really mean and awful. Everyone lies. White lies. Big lies. Medium lies. Whatever you want to call it I want to believe that being truthful is one of few things about you that shows you true character. I also think it will always come back around to you. Lies are ugly in that you need to remember them and sometimes build on them when you're caught in one.

I'm not saying I'm a saint. If a tree falls in a forest there are three stories of what happened. Mine, yours and the tree. You can see an entirely different situation than I saw, but bits of the truth will always show through. I guess all I can do is hope for the best and stand by my story. Thankfully there wasn't enough evidence on the other guy's side and I was not issued any citation. It's one thing to be in an accident, it's quite another to dirty up my record with things I did not do. I'm more personally offended than anything else. I don't care about the car. I don't care about any of that. I care that someone said something viciously inaccurate about me.

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

2009-12-25T23:40:00.009-05:00

Merry Christmas!

I'm so lame for writing on Christmas, huh? But I have sufficiently spent time with my family, I'm full of prime rib, and I have consumed an unusually large quantity of cookies. Every year I say I should make less, but every year I still insist on making at least 3 full batches, and thus 100 dozen cookies are created.

Um, because talking about presents is super lame and superficial of me I'll mention my friend Cathy had a baby boy recently. That sounds way more important than my desire for a spiffy apron. I know because she picture texted me. I haven't actually talked to her since her wedding. We're really quite awful friends, but babies tend to always bring forward a feeling of goodwill despite general lack of good communication otherwise. She had a boy and his name is Alex. For the sake of general personal security I'll refrain from yelling his full name from the internets.

Since I've already wandered down this topic I may as well continue this entry by congratulating Susan & Sean on their impending bundle of baby girl joy. Did I mention they were expecting? Probably not. Not that I don't think it's momentous, I just happen to think that it was so completely, ridiculously obvious that it didn't shock me when they announced it. Well, of course they're pregnant. They really wanted it and they (in my humble opinion) deserve it.

And yes, I immediately thought they would be having a girl. It was expressed they wanted a boy. Kim expressed desire for a girl and received a boy. My dad expressed desire for a boy and got me. I'm not saying I believe in bad luck or whatever. It's not quite that cut and dry as saying that god hates you and wants to spit on your dreams. I just think that the saying is true: "you can't always get what you want...you get what you need."

As a good example, I think my dad was destined to always have a daughter. The more I learn about my dad-the person, the more I realize he was a bit of a lethario. I'm not making a character judgment, I'm just saying that with the data I've been provided over my course of being alive that I know he was not an angel and he was not always entirely truthful to the women in his life. And I think that's probably got a lot to do with why he was so incredibly adamantly overprotective of me. He knew what could happen because well...he was a 20 year old man once and he probably did it. He probably tried it. And now as a father he carries on that anxiety and stress because he's aware it exists out there for his baby girl to battle against. Despite all his desire for a boy to carry on the family name and all of that usual macho stuff, my dad needed to have a girl to put his life into perspective.

Of course this puts me in the precarious position of having to analyze my husband's past behavior. haha. But joking aside, I think that god gives you only as much as you can handle. Even if you don't think you can handle a baby boy jumping off the roof, getting numerous stitches, setting fires in the backyard...hey, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. If you're scared of raising a defiant, emotional, loud, adolescent girl who manipulates your feelings and constantly gives you cold sweats about what she's up to when she says she's out with friends? Well, believe it or not you can probably handle it. If you get both? Well, you're a brave soul.

And if you spontaneously become pregnant without ever knowing the touch of a man and bring forth into the world Jesus Christ...ugh, yeah. You win. Best birth story ever.

Merry Christmas!

Fostering a Taste for the Decadent

2009-12-20T16:53:00.006-05:00

I have officially created a cookie snob.

I finally made those cookies from the Toll House dough from the refrigerator section of and my husband doesn't like them. (It's snowing, nice warm cookies are a fun treat.) And he doesn't like them. It just figures! I've now cultivated in him a taste for real butter and real vanilla extract and and all the warm deliciousness that it implies. (This is clearly why he blames me for making him fat.)

I don't really like them either but I'm just saying...people are not supposed to know the difference, right? But he totally knows!

On a side note I think I've given up on Holiday Shopping. Am I really done? Not so much. But I'm over it. lol I like the holidays, and I like lame holiday music, and I even like Egg Nog but it's not really the same. I miss Amanda and cooking strange random recipes with her. I miss Kim not being literally attached to the baby all the time and buying me gifts that have absolutely nothing to do with any of my likes or interests whatsoever. I miss having holidays up at the Farm. It just feels a lot different this year and I know I'm an adult and change is a natural progression but it's just a lot all at once and I'm just a tiny bit sad to say goodbye to it all.

I guess it just means we have to actively make new traditions and new rituals and new things to look forward to.

What Would Jesus Do?

2009-12-15T21:40:00.006-05:00

You're probably wondering, "hey, did you get that house yet?"

The short answer is no. The long answer is...really really long. So I'll keep it short and sweet and just say "it's in the works." Lots of shady and weird stuff has been hitting us from left and right....but "it's in the works." My sanity and patience has been seriously tested but what other choice do I have but to trudge on through it?

I do hope that the Santa Claus I don't believe in, realizes how good we've been and gives us a house for Christmas. I just think it's fair. And I think Jesus would agree. And if he doesn't I'm totally going to ask the Easter Bunny.

Prejudiced against the Pillsbury Dough Boy

2009-12-11T23:15:00.006-05:00

Here's a random but funny neurotic tidbit about me.

I don't typically buy pre-made cookie dough, but it was on sale a few weeks ago PLUS (because I'm an old lady) I had a coupon, so it was like $1 for a package I actually bought it. I wouldn't ever buy it for full price but for some reason when something is $1 I fall right off my high horse and I buy it. My morals can calm the heck down when something is only $1.

Stranger, yet? I have not yet baked it. It's just sitting in the freezer like some lonely ugly girl sitting on the sidelines of a high school dance.

You'd think "hey it's Christmas time, people love cookies" but I would never pawn off pre-packaged cookie dough as CHRISTMAS cookies. That's where I draw the line. Holiday food must be made from scratch or you may as well just not eat it at all. Some random Tuesday, sure. Break out the Toll House Brand package full of hydrogenated fat and preservatives, who cares? Clearly I feel bad about myself anyway if I'm in the mood for mid-week machine made cookies.

I'm strange about my food and my food prep. I have no idea where I got this neurosis because no one in my immediate family could care less if a cake came from the box as long as it tastes good. So even though I have perfectly good pre-made cookie dough in my freezer anyway I'm still going to be dragging out the butter, sugar, flour, vanilla extract, baking soda, salt, eggs...etc. and making "real" dough for "real" cookies for "real" Christmas.

Intellectually...that's so dumb. Why am I wasting perfectly good time making cookies when I have perfectly good ones sitting around begging to be consumed? I'm smart enough to realize I'm behaving irrationally, but it doesn't stop me from saying "duh, I'm not feeding my family garbage."

And Christmas isn't even that special to me. I'm not even Christian. I never even believed in Santa Claus. I'm just making the holidays into some weird elitist thing. Like anyone needs any more butter covered calories during the holidays.

And now that shared my crazy with you I've likely made you feel guilty about not making everything from scratch for the holidays (sorry 'bout that)...

Happy Holidays! Merry Kwanza. Happy Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Festivous for the rest of us...

Secret Rewards

2009-12-05T19:51:00.004-05:00

I'm on day 2 of my 4 day long weekend. I have PTO to burn up so why not? I have Xmas shopping to do anyway and my mind was a bubbling cauldron of stress, anxiety and general discomfort. I needed a break, if only to wander around Macy's for a bit.

But you know what? It's been really great so far. Like, much better than I thought a break from work would be. Sure I did a heck of a lot of laundry, but I was so psyched about some new bedding I purchased on Cyber Monday (it's not as dirty as it's name implies). I know...I've become far too domesticated, but SHEETS! I love good bedding. These were 400tc King sized Cotton Sateen sheets. Mmmmm. I like our 450's better but for $26 inclusive of shipping to get King sized sheets?! I'm not going to complain. They're fabulous. I'm sure as you go up and up and up it gets better but having too-good of taste only proves to bite you in the butt because you'll never want to sleep in common sheets ever again and unfortunately you have to. Like when you go to hotels and sleep over other people's homes.

I'm sure people with Temperpedic beds have serious issues sleeping anywhere other than at home.

So other than my unusual love of these sheets my Friday was great. I hung out with my husband for a bit, we had lunch together, I bought 2 more plates to expand my set and then I wandered my way to Victoria's Secret. I would usually not mention a specific store by name, but this DESERVES a mention because I received in November a "Secret Reward" card from them. This is normal. I get a number of promo things and I remember getting the same thing last year. The card has no value until December 1st. Then it can have a $10, $50, $100,...etc. value depending on the luck of the draw. As you can imagine, probably 90% of all the cards they send have just a $10 value. I know the one I redeemed last year was for $10, but by some chance when I went and asked the cashier to tell me the value before I bought anything (to prepare myself to spend within that range of value) she asked me to guess what my card value was. "Ten bucks?" "No, guess again." "Twenty bucks?" "Nope."...."A hundred bucks?" "Yup."

I got $100 for doing absolutely nothing other than being a regular customer. Needless to say, I was pretty psyched even though you can hardly buy 2 items for $100. That's not the point, the point is that I won something cool. I really needed that kick of positivity. I've been a seriously grumpy mean spirited gal lately.

The only thing that would be better is if it were a certificate I could redeem for more plates. My current obsession with homegoods is sort of sad, but I guess it's my way of expressing my excitement about the possibility of a much bigger home. The cynic in me doesn't like counting on it, but I can't help but start daydreaming about all the cool stuff I can buy to make it a really stylish home.

I probably shouldn't worry about it until after Xmas because I haven't been too successful thus far. My list of gifts still left to buy is still kinda long and gifts cost money. Money that probably shouldn't be spent on me. But at this rate I'll never find what I'm looking for anyway. I've been aimlessly searching for a tempered glass pitcher to brew tea in. Apparently all the glass pitchers ever made in life are not tempered and therefore if I put hot boiling water in it, then try to throw in ice (thus iced tea) it'll crack and break. I haven't been able to find a tempered glass one. I have a plastic one but I'm slowly becoming brainwashed to believe plastics are evil and the chemicals will slowly kill me.

Anyway, becoming a hippie aside I think things are moving along pretty well. I'm a little nervous still but I suppose I'll continue to be until my signature is on that paper and our attorney congratulates us on our new home. I might be terribly unbearable to be around (unless you really like talking about glassware and plates) until then. You have been forewarned.

It's a work on progress

2009-11-29T22:08:00.004-05:00

Holidays? Good. I don't have much to say about it because it was nice. Non-dramatic. No burned turkey.

Turkey day with my husband's family. I love them, they're so cute. Day after with my family. Lots of deboned turkey stuffed with duck was consumed. I guess my mom was moved to make one after hearing about Devin's Turduckhen.

I worked Friday because I was not fast enough on the draw to ask for it off and my coworkers were. Not like anyone called or emailed or anything. So it was a pretty good day to catch up and work on stuff I'd been having difficulty with. I did go to HRD's Hair Cut-a-thon because they had a deal where they were donating food to the Windsor Food Bank. If you brought in 6 items you could get a wash, cut and blow dry for $10. Of course I brought in way more than 6 items, but that's mostly in part to my love for food drives. I know there are people worse off than me and my husband is annoyingly negative and will stand on his high horse and say that charities don't give 100% of your donation to the needy. Well, I doubt that charities will take 1/10th of a can of peas before giving it to a needy family. So I can feel relatively confident than what I'm giving away is actually being used in the manner I want it to be used.

So I woke up early and was among the first 4 people in line for the Cut-a-thon. I don't have a lot to cut so it was probably for naught but I like having my hair blown out by someone else. One less thing for me to have to work on.

After work I went to mom's. And no, I did not go shopping. I did not take one step into any mall on Friday. I was thinking about it but one thing always happens on those days when I go out and brave the chaos. I always end up buying something (or various somethings) for myself. No presents are usually purchased for other people on black friday. Here's the thing; my birthday is in November and because I'm a relatively faithful shopper to a certain few stores they send me birthday coupons and birthday gift cards and the gift cards in conjunction with the sales means I walk away with either a free or a cheap item for myself.

I got myself some beautiful plates from Macy's for myself. I'm not gonna lie; I didn't consider Trevor's feelings in the slightest in the purchase of these plates. It's unnatural to love plates as much as I love these plates. I don't know why, but they speak to me. I think I like them because (although they are not actually) they look like hand painted watercolors and I have a soft spot for artisan stuff. Like if I had the patience to do so I'd kiln and glaze all my own plates like this.

Plus Trevor and I do not see eye to eye on all things even though we generally have the same taste. I don't understand it. I think that due to the fact I see and use our plates and serveware a lot more I appreciate and understand what will coordinate with what we have already. Whereas Trevor will pick whatever he happens to like in that moment even if it totally doesn't coordinate with anything. I'm mildly worried about furnishing the house we may get. I think it may be easier to instead of trying to work together, that we divide and conquer instead. ie: I get to pick out all the textiles and wall coverings for the living room if you get the family room.

The house? Um....since it's not in stone yet I don't want to talk too much about the house other than to say it may happen. And that I do not want to do a totally contemporary Ikea-esk feeling to the home because it's too modern to go with the era which the house was originally built. I feel like we'd be doing a disservice to the home if we didn't make it a point to enhance the existing beauty. I usually like that sterile, white-on-white-on-white, really modern, minimalist, hard angles, cold look but I don't live in California and it seems silly to force a historic home to be something it's not. A historic home needs a warmer palette and richer textiles.

It'll be fun to figure out that middle ground without having a hodge podge like we currently have.

If we move I am promised a new couch. Devin kicked loose the right arm of my couch right now and we're just tolerating it for the moment. I think I may not know what to do with myself if I had a house that was fully functional and furnished in a way I'm not ashamed of. How else would I fill my free hours?

Bananas for Bananas

2009-11-22T09:22:00.005-05:00

I have a weakness for food on sale. As an example, bananas. I don't even really EAT bananas but I buy them. I also don't eat peanut butter but I buy it. I have every intention of giving those jars to food shelters. (So at least that's semi-forgivable) But with bananas I buy them with the intention of eating them and then I realize I don't really like eating them unless they are sliced and floating around in my cereal. Sweet not-as-healthy-for-you cereal at that. I'm fond of Golden Grahams. Honey Bunches of Oats. Something sorta sweet but no marshmallows. I can't get behind dried up marshmallows.

Anyway...bananas turn an ugly shade of black and fruit flies invade my home. And only then do I think "hey, maybe I should do something about this."

I made a banana cheesecake, 20something banana bread muffins and only after hours of the oven cranking away was I free of those putrid bananas.

Mind you, I like banana desserts a lot but the sense of obligation to make them kind of makes it less fun.

So after not doing this in um...forever?!? I'm posting a recipe for banana bread. The old standby of using up bananas. I like muffin form because it's less commitmental and I don't have to cut anything and dirty up a knife. This is a modified version of something The Barefoot Contessa makes but I like it because everything is nice round numbers. No, 2 1/4 cup of this and 1/3 cup of that.

Banana Bread with a Crunch
Oven 350F (the old standby...I think almost everything bakes at 350F)
DRY STUFF
3 cups flour
2 cups sugar
2 tsps baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
WET STUFF
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 apple sauce (I happen to have this hanging around, otherwise you can use 1 full cup oil)
2 eggs
3/4 cup milk
Mashed up banana goo. I had 3 bananas.
1 tsp vanilla extract
OTHER
1 cup oats
1 cup shredded coconut
1 cup walnuts chopped
chocolate chips (optional)

Mix all dry stuff. If you're super ambitious sift it all. It mixes together with less lumps if you take the time to sift. I am lazy so I just mixed by hand (less stuff to clean up later). Mix all your wet goo together and then add it to your dry. The trick to any tender quick breads is NOT mixing the tar out of it. Then gently mix the "other" in. The "other" isn't really standard banana bread stuff persay but it adds a lot of texture and flavor. And it makes me feel healthier to see oats in there. I know sugar laden baked goods aren't healthy but just let me pretend...okay?

Standard Muffins? 20 minutes should do it. Fill only 2/3s of the way up. They WILL lift and the will make a mess of your oven. Loaf pan? give it at least 40 and then check on it. Everyone's oven is different.

On a side note? I don't even really like consuming cheesecake THAT much but my dad does like it when I make some from scratch. Clearly it was a mistake introducing him to the "good stuff." So I made a banana cheesecake for him. I'll bring it over tonight since mom is prepping a b'day meal for me. Since I had the oven going I also made lasagna for dinner yesterday. My husband likes lasagna. I'm happier with normal pasta or raviolis since it takes a lot more assembly to do lasagna. After I finally turned the oven off I thought it was funny that for my birthday I was making things other people liked. I should really have just made food I like. Clearly I have become a softie.

Gobble Gobble

2009-11-18T22:36:00.014-05:00

Happy Mid-November.

Chances are I'm going to forget to mention Thanksgiving but, heck. It's my favorite holiday of the year so I'll make mention of it now.

I think the plan is to go to my mother in law's house. I'll need to come up with a better title than mother in law. Maybe, "Bonus Mother" is a more apt term. Mother in law sound so...negative and ugly. Anyway, I look forward to it. I show my best eating ability around the holidays, though I admit as I get older my appetite seems to shrink. That whole guilt thing about not wanting to die of morbid obesity where they have to cut a hole in the side of my house to get me.

Devin is scheduled to make another Turduckhen. For the uninitiated it's a deboned chicken stuffed inside a deboned duck stuffed inside a semi-deboned turkey and is traditionally considered a southern dish. I would LOVE to host Thanksgiving. I wouldn't so much want to make a Turduckhen, but maybe next year just hosting a holiday? If the thing I'm tentatively concerned about happening actually happens I'd love to have my parents and Trevor's fam over and feed them all until their bellies bulge. They'll have to promise not to judge me for not having a full set of matching...umm...anything, but the food should be good. The spread would be pretty interesting. I don't personally think I have the guts to deep fry a turkey (too big of a fire hazard) but I have a soft spot for sharing home made meals.

I don't really personally care about everything being matchy matchy. Like, I don't think matching plates make your meal taste any better so it's not a huge priority. I don't live in a Sears Catalog. (It's probably just me but I feel it's strangely artificial.) I do oddly enough think you need actual plates and actual metal utensils. Paper plates and plastic forks do not make for an unbelievable meal. I can't think of a single meal I've eaten with a plastic fork that was even slightly memorable.

Last year? I spent my birthday painting our existing house. This coming birthday? I'll probably be rubbing two pennies together because we're trying to buy another one. (The empire has to grow eventually.) I don't know what is up with my birthday lately but it's been falling on particularly odd housing-related times for me. I can't be too sad because, dude...houses! But houses need furniture and curtains and paint...oh so much paint. So whatever money I thought I could blow on pumpkin hued pumps? They now have to go to house stuff. Not like we ever really go wild around my birthday. To be completely honest I tend to like to spend some time with my mom & dad on my birthday because...umm...my mom birthed me and if truth be told the day is much more memorable and special to her than to anyone else. I can't even remember being born whereas she very vividly recalls the day and often uses it as some kind of guilt inducing bargaining chip.

I want to ignore the fact that if we get a new house that we'll have to pack AGAIN. I don't even have that much stuff but packing is painful. Moving is even more painful. Something always breaks. But I suppose it's a good time to determine what stuff we can toss. There's always stuff we don't need but we hang on to because of a sense of obligation. I know my husband is now likely rolling his eyes in the general direction of my dress shoes.

Even if we don't obtain THIS particular house I'm pretty excited about the prospect of a REAL house in our future. Like, a house I'd want to invite people over to and feel genuinely proud of. I guess it just goes to show that I'm getting older, lamer and more settled. Maybe I'll even take a cue from Martha Stewart and start hot gluing pine cones to things. And get a dog. And wear some unflattering mom-jeans with pockets that are attached in a weird position.

I can't look away from mom-jeans...I know they're a disaster and I'm mystified by their ability to make a derriere look so awful and gigantic. And then people think I'm staring at their rear ends for NOT that reason and think I'm strange. I'm sorry for staring. I try to be discreet but I have no ability to hide the emotions on my face. If you get to know me you'll find that quality endearing, but as a stranger I guess it's creepy.

But before you think we're rolling on money, it's a heck of a lot easier to save up for a home when you don't have a wedding to pay for at the exact same time. Even I think it was a tad ambitious of us to get married and buy our first home in the same year. But without that weight holding us down (apart from the general weight of our ball and chain) plus holding to our same work ethics and careful budgeting it's been a lot less painful saving up this time. A lot less pressure. But if truth be told I hope that 2010 will be a bit less crazed with houses. Buying and moving into a different home every year is a little much. I know we're young and we have the energy to do it, but I'm grumpy about it each and every time. I'd like to keep an address for a while.

Next step? Building a hotel on Boardwalk

2009-11-16T22:15:00.007-05:00

So yeah, Hi. I didn't die. But I have been excruciatingly busy at work and I've kind of turned into a bleary eyed zombie.

Also, so. many. things. have. happened!

The farm had an offer put in on it so we had a small window of time to rent a UHaul and divide up the furniture among us. Trevor and I, although we have no space whatsoever in our apartment have aspirations of a bigger house and a bigger house requires a good amount of furniture. And furniture? It costs money. Money I don't have to spend. So that we were allowed to take things from the farm was nice. Other folks took things too; don't think it was just me and Trevor. The rest of the clan took chairs and tables and wicker and mirrors...etc.

Halloween. I dressed up as Snow White. Trevor was Herbert the Pervert. We wanted to be a couples thing but we never agree on what we mutually decide is a "cool" costume. Though to be fair I mostly picked my costume to go with my hair because it's not likely to stay this way for too long. It's already grown out an inch and it's only been a few weeks. Clearly my follicles do not agree with short hair because I swear my hair grows at an accelerated pace after a cut...a la Rapunzel.

Other Halloween related news? Kim got induced and little Tyler Edziu was born November 1st at 6lbs 5oz after laboring all day long. Momma and baby are now at home and trying to settle into a schedule. I saw them this past weekend and (after much hand washing) held the baby and caught up with her. I didn't take any pictures because the baby was experiencing some red spots and calloused lips and I kind of think he deserves a better introduction. Also, it seems kind of weird to post pictures of a minor. I think he looks just like his paternal grandfather, but he mostly just looks like a newborn. Not really anything like Kim or Vinnie yet, although obviously there's time for that to change.

Do I have baby envy yet? My mom cannot wait for the day this takes place. Umm...perhaps if little TE wasn't exhausting his mother, but right now Kim can't get even get 4 consecutive hours of sleep because the kid is constantly eating, pooping, peeing, and fussing. She's actually surprisingly chipper given the significant exhaustion, and even seems excited about the future prospect of having more babies. Me? I slept in this Sunday until 11:30 and I'm pretty excited about continuing this habit for a while longer. Sorry, mom.

But I do have to say that we could be ever so slightly closer to domesticity because we might have a 2nd house under our belts. It's a...um...fixer upper house but I think it's a big step in the right direction. I'm tentative about it because there's still a lot left before it's actually ours so I'll stop describing it at all, but it's really a beautiful old house that if given enough love could be magnificent.

I'm really strange because although I have a blog and although I deeply want to share I cannot share more about this. Not the color. Not the location. Not the price. Not anything at all...because I'm afraid of jinxing it. Plus I don't really care to have stalkers. Please do not come to my door trying to sell me a bible or a vacuum or ginzu knives.

Double J Wedding

2009-10-20T21:42:00.008-05:00

Okay, I'm backlogged again.

I guess I'm obliged to mention I went to my friends Jeff & Jill's wedding, huh? Story in a nutshell? Jeff and I went to school together and I guess I'd consider him my best male friend in high school. He was just nerdy enough, but didn't take himself seriously or pretend to be cool and mature. We were admittedly weird and silly and that's how you're supposed to be when you're a teenager. And he was as boringly straight edge as I was. We've tried to keep up our friendship through the years although I admit we kinda suck at it. I think we always have fun hanging out but we lead busy enough lives that we don't want to drive long distances to see one another. Jeff and Jill went to the same college and have been together for 8 years. You can probably guess that this was not as rushy rushy as Kim's wedding. In fact this might be the polar opposite of Kim's situation because people have been tapping their foot waiting for those not-really-crazy kids to get married.

So they had their wedding recently. I was kind of surprised to get an invite but it's an honor to be thought of, so why not go? My getting an invite probably slid someone else into the "not important enough to invite list." It'd be lame and lazy of me not to. I'm already feel like a bad enough friend for missing dull boring normal days. Missing his wedding would be uber bad-friend behavior.

It was gorgeous. Not like I'm surprised. Not like I expected anything less actually. If I was with Trevor for 8 years I think the least I would ask for is a fancy party. They held the ceremony and reception at the same site (which I love. I hate driving around getting lost) in RI. They rented a historic mansion outside of Newport and had their ceremony outside. The wedding itself was nice, and actually smaller than I thought. Less than 80 guests. Inside was the reception. Buffet dinner, live band, flip flop favors on the dancefloor for sore feet, pashminas for women who caught a chill, candy buffet for people who like sweet stuff, old timey photo booth with props so guests could take silly pictures. And oh, did I take silly pictures.

I'm not doing it any justice but I'm not about to pick apart their wedding. I appreciated that they really THOUGHT about their wedding and clearly spent a lot of time plotting each piece. Everything was personalized. No Jordan Almonds for Jeff's big day. Like instead of a guest book they had guests fill out postcards and drop them in a mini postal box. Obviously all weddings are nice because the bride and groom are happy and presumably you like them, but if you're in my age bracket and all your friends are stuffing your mailbox full of bridal shower, baby shower, housewarming, wedding invitations it kind of all blurs together.

I blame television and the internet for taking away my attention span. I need a few flourishes or my mind starts to wander and I begin cracking inappropriate jokes. Thankfully I had a lot of fun with a few pals from high school. Justin taught us a game involving spoons. He tried to bribe the harpist into playing some 80's music. I made friends with Monoito's Austrian date. We had a lot of laughs and I consumed 3 varieties of cocktail shrimp. How can you possibly say that's not a good time? See a few long lost pals. Say Hi to Joey's parents. Share a number of laughs with my husband. Good times.

I love taking my husband to events like this. He's really charming and funny and I think it's great to be reminded of how much I love him. It's nice to take us out of our element and mingle with normal people. We're sort of hermits most of the time. Taking a date to a wedding can be awful. Wedding dates you drag up out of sheer desperation to not be alone can be excruciatingly dull and awkward. Ughhhh. Or weddings you attend when you don't know anyone (even the bride and groom) because someone asked you to be their date? Pretty weird.

Spice up your life

2009-10-06T20:54:00.024-05:00

So, I don't know if it'll make my mother happy or just make her more frustrated that the only news I ever have is about my hair and the occasional cooking tip.

Susan recently announced she's expecting her first baby.

Universal "Awww"s can be had from near and far. Not too surprising because this is a deeply (DEEPLY) wanted baby.

If you can imagine this, (and you probably can if you know me well enough) I won one of the shower games we had at Kim's house a few weeks back based on baby gadget knowledge. Considering the room included people who've actually had children it's pretty impressive. Sure I called the nasal aspirator a "snot remover" but hey, if we're being blunt that's what that thing does.

So naturally you're probably wondering when I plan on giving Susan's kid a play-friend. Well, I'm not currently thinking about it. I'm not thinking about it because we're still working on getting another house. And by "working on getting another house" I mean that we're right in the thick of it and I'm anxious about what'll transpire. I will say that we fell in love with different house and the afternoon we were going to fax over the papers to put in our offer it was off the market; someone else snuck in an offer before us. This is all the more amazing because the house was only on the market 2 business days so we really thought we had a good chance.

This isn't even a hot time in the real estate market but we've had this happen a few other times. I'm not terribly surprised though. The Warren Buffets of the world became rich by seeing opportunity where other people saw no value. Overpriced houses might be sitting on the market indefinitely but if you price anything right someone's going to bite.

I know you can raise a kid with little more than a pocket full of hope, but I'd prefer to have a house that has a little room and smidge of privacy. Oh, and maybe some money. That'd make life a lot easier.

What? You're anxious about my hair? Well, I guess that's normal since I've TAUNTED you with the wait. Please ignore my washer/dryer in the background. Although I do love that washer dryer. It's energy star rated and everything. Oh right, my hair. It's really short in the back and a bit longer in the front to cup my face. It's intentional...really. I joke around and say it's my Posh Spice hair.

I will say that I enjoy the shorter hair. And And surprisingly, unlike long hair I am obliged to style my short hair so it isn't entirely lopsided with a gigantic cow lick in the back. So it forces me to care more than I normally would. Normally? I'd just pull my hair back into a bland ponytail. Now? It's too short to pull into a ponytail. You can actually see the back of my neck all the time now. So I kind of think it's funny when people ask if it's so much easier to do my hair in the morning. In comparison to doing absolutely nothing, yes it takes a lot more time.

And what I find even more surprising? I kept long hair for a long time because I was under the impression long hair gave you more options. This is a gigantic lie when you're a lazy pony-tail maker like myself. I never actively styled my long hair beyond purposefully messing it up so it looked tousled or occasionally flat ironing it. Short hair somehow gives me a lot more creative license...well, as long as I'm willing to plop in a few different kinds of product to manipulate it with. The volume is CRAZY.

It's easy to fall into a rut so I think it's good to test my boundaries now and again and push myself out of my comfort zone. I spent most of my life trying to have long hair because I had short hair in my childhood and felt very...boyish. In direct opposition to that I decided to have long hair. The change is all the better because people have generally been very positive about my hair and haven't made me feel like I look like a 11 year old boy like I had feared.

I know men typically prefer long hair but I'm old and married. What do I care what other guys think? And my husband tends to feel like he got a brand new wife, so it's a win-win. He's so cute. He wasn't sure if he should hug me at first because I didn't look like his wife. It took a few minutes of hair 0rientation before he settled into his "new wife."

The Big Chop

2009-10-04T10:08:00.009-05:00

I was thinking about it months ago that I needed a change. I didn't know what. I didn't know how, but I felt like I was in a rut and I needed a small boost to recharge me.

HRD, the local salon that Kim had her bachelorette at will cut your hair for Locks of Love. I stumbled upon this small tidbit of information and it got me thinking. LisaF always seems to do it every few years once hers gets outgrown so clearly it's not a difficult or arduous task. And the more I thought about it (which by the way, equals at least 4 weeks of thinking in real time) I really wanted to do something contributory. I don't feel like I give enough in life. I used to give to charities here and there but Trevor has made me jaded about organized non profits because a good chunk of your donations go into the general business costs of running any business, and not to the actual starving cancer kids you think it's going to. So now I'm freaked out about giving money to people...great.

But giving my hair? Well, I know that hair isn't a tax write off, but as much as I complain about my hair I know a lot of people would envy having long, thick, healthy, non chemically treated, not blow dried everyday, natural hair. If I'm being honest with myself I'd rather have my hair than thin, wimpy, flat, lifeless, stringy stuff any day. But there are people who, by a twist of fate have lost their hair due to chemotherapy treatments and feel alien. Who feel less womanly, less normal, less themselves all because they're balding. And we all associate our physical appearance with who we are. Women in particular don't feel womanly without hair. A guy can be bald and be masculine, but a bald woman does not want to be masculine. She just wants to feel like herself and be able to go to the grocery store without anyone staring at her.

So after a lot (a LOT) of selfishness on my part about wanting to keep my hair, I decided to take the plunge. I started talking about it and the more I talked about it the more courage I got and October is Breast Cancer Awareness month anyway, so that was the last straw. I finally walked into that salon and said "I would like to donate my hair." And that was it.

I gave 10 inches of my own hair. And I won't even lie, I was totally psyched out. My husband was making me nervous by saying "Are you sure you want to do this?" and that was the LAST thing I needed to hear but I still trudged through, even if I was in bed with my blankets over my head just a half hour before the big cut. But knowing I already made this commitment made me keep going. I don't wimp out at the last minute. That is douchey behavior.

I know I can grow mine out again. And it felt stupid because it's just hair, even if it was an awful look on me, it was just hair and I could grow it back. And the person receiving it would love my hair 80 times more than I ever could. I don't even like combing my hair in the morning. I never blow it out. Every rare moon I'll flat iron it. It's a security blanket much more than a fashion statement. I liked it because it represented something to me; it felt secure.

So...you're likely wondering what is left on my head now that I've lopped off such a significant segment. Since I'm mean I'm going to drag it out. HA! No the real story is I'm obliged to show my parents before I show the internets. That someone in Japan gets to see it before my parents who live down 3 streets see it? Yeah, I'd probably get an annoyed look from them like, "gee, that girl. Did we never teach her any decorum?" I'm old enough where I wouldn't be yelled at, but I know they'd be a bit miffed at me.

Where am I donating this? Well, there's a lot of charities out there that'll take it, surprisingly. There's the ubiquitous Locks of Love, but they give hair to kids. No offense to those alopecia kids but considering the tone of my donation I wanted it to go to a woman in need, so I'm giving to Pantene's Beautiful Lengths program which specifically targets women who've lost their hair from chemo and who are unable to afford real-hair wigs. Considering real-hair extensions cost like $600 I imagine the cost of a full-on real-hair wig is pretty crazy for someone who's likely spent every penny they've got on medical bills. And I sure hope they have insurance...but anyway, that's a whole other topic.

I forget where I read it (if I find it I'll revise this) but it said something to the effect of long hair being like a black dress. It works on a lot of people and it fits a lot of occasions well, but after five minutes you've forgotten about it. It's unremarkable. No one remembers anything about a bland little black dress. Short hair on the other hand, makes a statement. It's like the red dress in a crowd.

Consider me part of Team Red Dress....with a pink ribbon.

Dress for Success

2009-09-27T22:11:00.012-05:00

Is it lame to admit that I love my bridesmaid dress? Probably, right? Well, too bad. I love it. Probably a great deal in part to the fact I picked out not only the style but then proceeded to pick the color and for some reason Alexis agreed with me.

I didn't even have to bribe her! What a pal.

I mention this even though I bought the dress like over a month ago because I'm on the cusp of attending a wedding and if we're being 100% honest I was deeply considering wearing Lex's bridesmaid dress to this occasion. Because dude...one less dress to buy! But then I'd be really lame because there'd be pictures of me wearing the same dress to TWO weddings. And that's simply unacceptable behavior in my book.

So I bought a new dress. Ugh. By the time I pass away I might have 500 billion dresses in my closet.

But in addition to it being totally unacceptable to have dozens of pictures of me wearing the same dress at two separate occasions I think I'd be really pissed at myself if I somehow ruined this bridesmaid dress. Perhaps I'll involuntarily decide to do a little mud wrestling; you just never know. And if that were the case I'd probably end up having to buy a 2nd bridesmaid dress to replace my ruined one.

Odd side effect of having a bridesmaid dress many months before the big day? I can't gain any weight. So I guess I'll have to refrain from taking baths in lard and entering every food eating contest in the area. Oh, and having babies....sorry mom.

Hey Jealousy

2009-09-24T20:25:00.007-05:00

So...dudes. I have been a grumpalupomus (yes that is a made up word but it WORKS).

The husband had two dozen roses sent to work this Tuesday. This immediately makes you think "oh how nice" but it's kind of a funny story because there was no reason for these flowers. No one died. I didn't announce I was pregnant. Not my birthday. Not our anniversary. Not even one of those arbitrary anniversaries like "oh it's the 49 month anniversary of our first kiss."

Totally just no reason. And people? They cannot wrap their heads around these no reason flowers. I've been answering questions about the darned flowers for the better part of a week and they just don't stop. Really. I guess it's instinctual to have feelings of "why doesn't my husband do that for me?" and then guilt trip the BAHJEEZUS out of that poor man.

Really? They're just flowers. If my husband never bought me flowers that's okay. I'm not a big plant keeper-aliver anyway. I like that he likes me and wants to do nice things. Believe it or not, I do not guilt trip my husband about flowers, candy and jewelery. If he wants to do it, then it's genuine and it's nice. If I have to layer on the guilt then it's not particularly meaningful and I don't want peer-pressure-flowers. It seems...dirty.

But if you want to see a bright side? I've been pretty amused by all of my coworker's questioning. I also think it's strange human behavior but in a totally entertaining way. A friend of a friend, hitherto referred to as Freida was talking about another mutual friend...ummm...Delilah. (Like the pseudonyms? I'm working on being anonymous and thus slightly nicer.) Well, I guess Delilah's boyfriend got her a Tiffany's bracelet and Freida? Freida was PISSED at her boyfriend for not showering her with gifts as well and was wondering if she should bail on her long-time boyfriend because her expectation of the relationship was clearly different than reality and she was thinking that perhaps she was settling for less than she deserved.

Now, I can see where Freida would feel that way because you always want your relationship to feel fresh and exciting. However, if the basis of your relationship depends on a constant stream of overpriced gifts perhaps there are much bigger problems at hand. Like how you might possibly be a gold digger. But it's acceptable for women to be selfish and..um...gold-digger-like. Strange. My husband doesn't guilt trip me about not buying him enough...um...matchbox cars? lol If that were the case all my coworkers instead of exclaiming that I caught a good one, would probably whisper about me behind my back about being a total sucker.

I'm not saying we should all forgo material possessions and go to Tibet to get in touch with our spirituality. I like random stuff as much as the next sheeplike American consumer. I just don't think it makes your relationship better or your marriage stronger. It's not a litmus test for true love and it's not anything more than just what it is.

A singular nice gesture.

A Farewell to Amanda

2009-09-21T21:35:00.006-05:00

Sunday was Kim's baby shower. I almost missed it because I thought it was at 2pm and then Amanda called and said, "where are you?" and I began to flip out because it was at noon. I zoomed over to Kim's mom's house and got there about 15 minutes before Kim showed up.

Phew.

I didn't even comb my hair let alone put on any makeup, so I wasn't particularly well dressed either. But Kim's shower was a surprise so I wasn't expecting her to be dressed to the nines either. What cutesy gift did I give her? I chipped in for a group gift. No little ittle shoes. No itty bitty hats. Eh. They outgrow those things in a month anyway. Kim is so inundated with secondhand onesies and slightly used baby gear that she doesn't need for anything. The entire nursery is full of plush animals, shoes, onesies, crib bumbers...etc. It's packed with stuff and that was before the shower. I don't even want to imagine what it looks like now after the shower's done.

Oh, and Kim got a diaper cake. I was mildly considering making one (I love crafts) so I'm glad I didn't because that takes guessing about diaper brands and that's kind of unchartered territory for me. If I got a (pardon the term) cruddy brand of diapers it'd be sort of a waste of money if she just gets peed all over and frustrated. Because first time baby frustrations plus sleeplessness plus recovering from giving birth is enough without adding inadequate pee-pee coverage with a little boy. I hear they're squirters.

I'm not really...um...googley eyed about the baby yet. An extended belly does not bring out a cooing, baby-voice making sap in me. I reserve the right to change my mind, but I think it's just hard to empathize unless you're going through it. I feel bad I'm not really 100% on the same level, but I can't pretend to know what she's going through. I think it would be incredibly disingenuous to even pretend I can understand it. It's definitely just one of those things that you have to do yourself to know anything about. Plus every experience is so unique. Some people love being pregnant and some people despise it with every grain of their being and can't wait for it to be over.

In other life changing news, today is the last day for me to see Amanda. I just got back from her house and chatting with her, her dad, and Lex. I didn't want to be a big blubbering jerk and making Amanda sad about leaving. She shouldn't be sad and no one should make her feel sad. It's a great opportunity for her. If anything I'm jealous she gets to have adventures without me. And she's not going to Africa; she's within a reasonable flight and if I'm any kind of friend at all I'll make it a point to see her. Plus I like how much bigger food is in Texas and umm...I have family out there I'd probably owe a visit.

I also really enjoyed seeing her dad because it's literally been like 7 or 8 years since I've seen him and I always considered him and Louise to be an extension of my own family. My second set of parents. I cooked up some eggrolls for them for their farewell. Mind you, I've never made them on my own ever. It's really more my mom's specialty but monkey see, monkey do. If she can do it, I'm convinced I can do it too and apparently it got raves. I cannot divulge the recipe. 1.) Because I do not measure things anyway and god only knows how much of any ingredient goes into there. 2.) Rich thinks I need to go into business and if that's the case you don't become a multi-billionaire eggroll tycoon by telling the internets your best tricks. 3.) My mom might be really mad at me because she might be small but you don't mess with that woman.

Originally mom wanted to make eggrolls for Amanda's farewell but she was working this weekend and I didn't want to be the bearer of bad news that there would be no eggrolls. So clearly that just left making them myself because I'm not about to let her down even though I'm not fully confident in my Vietnamese food making skills. I'm not that kind of person. I talk a meanspirited, cynical game but I am a tenderhearted fool when I love someone. And I love her very much. I'd bend over backwards to do something kind for her.

Dolla- Dollar Bills y'all

2009-09-09T20:20:00.007-05:00

So, you might wonder what if I forgot about my list. Oh no...you only wish. I've been busy. Work is like a rollercoaster of busy, busy, go, Go, GO!! My bestie is moving away and I gotta buy gifts again. Darn it! Anyway...

#2 on Things I didn't know before I got married.

Money. Well, obviously I knew money existed. Duh. I'm actually quite proud that I know my way with money. I often thank my lucky stars for having absorbed so much geekiness from business school. But, perhaps nothing could prepare me for sharing finances because there are inevitably inequities. Not to go into many specifics but if you have money and your spouse does not, does saying "I Do" suddenly entitle them to using your money? Maxing out your credit card? Running up your bills?

I think it's a recipe for disaster. The number one thing that couples argue about? Surprise, surprise...Money.

Do I know how to fix this? No. It's really something for every couple to work out among themselves, but it's helpful to know it can be an issue before it does become an issue. People tend to stray from talking about the hard truths, but love can only get you so far if you don't have any money and are shacked up living in your parents' basement because you can't afford the rent.

There's a commercial out now where this woman comes out to the living room in a new dress to show off to her husband. He then starts talking about how he really wants to spend their reward points on a trip or a show or whatever and then she thwarts all of his ideas by inferring she spent all their points on the dress. I know it's supposed to be tongue in cheek, but it's a prime example of not communicating your goals effectively.

Bridal Dumplings

2009-09-07T15:00:00.010-05:00

What a crazy busy weekend.

I spent Friday evening frantically trying to wrap my shower gift to Alexis. By the way, it was the best shower gift I've given yet. No joke. I like to think I put a lot of thought into all my gifts but this one took the cake. I'll find it hard to top myself for the next round. But I ran out of paper to wrap it and of course I was frantic trying to find something late at night. One day I'll remember not to procrastinate. So I ended up wrapping part of it in a brown paper bag. How lovely...yet ghetto of me.

Saturday was the shower and I was pretty much cooking, serving, cleaning..etc. for hours and hours. Because I volunteered to bring potsticker dumplings and then I also volunteered to help Lex's mom prep before the shower so she'd be less stressed out. So that meant cooking at home my dumplings. Then getting dressed. Going to their house and then cooking and prepping and wrapping and serving other food. It was fun; don't think I mean it in any other way than that I love helping. I think helping prep for a party can sometimes be more fun than the party itself. You get to know all the food first, plus the talking? Very fun.

But there was a lot to do, so thankfully Amanda and Maddy were there to help Lex's mom too because it really took all of us to pull it together and even then guests started pouring in before Lex's mom got dressed for the occasion.

The shower itself was cute. Not too big, not too small. Everyone LOVED the travel theme. We had luggage tags and travel sized toiletries as favors. We served jerk chicken and english cucumber sandwiches, and irish soda bread and garlic chicken, and salad and lots of s'mores pie and s'mores martinis (in honor of Lex's girlscout history). It was a great spread. Lex's family really wanted to pull together something nice and you could tell. They're just so cute.

Lots of fun gifts. Mine was likely one of the least traditional but it REEKED of sentiment. If it could have stood up and given everyone a big fuzzy hug, it might have. I'm not going to tell the internet though. For the sake of keeping Lex's wedding unique and segregated from the pack, I'll refrain from too much detail. If you ask her though I'm sure she'd be happy to chat with you about everything. She was even showing guests pictures of her wedding dress. But that's for her to share and if I weren't in her wedding party I wouldn't bother asking about the color scheme and bridesmaid dresses just to save it for the big day and the big reveal as you walk down the aisle. It's totally natural to be curious, but I prefer to go in totally blind because I always build things up in my head. (I do admit to having a very colorful and vivid imagination.) Because when people say "oh my gosh, you have to meet (insert generic name here). She's so hot. I can't believe Stan's dating such a gorgeous girl." And then I meet her and...hmmm. And I don't know what I was expecting but she was NOT Heidi Klum. And then I kind of have to quickly muffle my disappointment because my expectation did not match up with reality. And I feel like a jerk because, really? What are the chances anyone could date a supermodel, let alone my 100% fictional friend Stan? He doesn't even have a Bentley convertible or good hair. Why would I possibly assume he could bag a woman so hot that people standing in her general proximity would melt from the glow of her 1000 watt smile? But I DO assume that!

I don't think a lot of other people build up stories, details and even entire plot lines in their mind the way I do. It's funny but surely confusing.
Crazy incoherent rambling tangents aside...

Amanda felt bad because she got Lex a double gift, but that happens with Target registries. They don't count the gift as purchased right away so there is a pretty big gap where you end up with doubles. Lex didn't seem too upset by it though because she could always use more than one suitcase. They always get destroyed when you check them anyway. I agree. We travel enough where our suitcases look disgusting and banged up. We did not play games at the shower because it felt like we ran out of time. Like, it was go-go-go for me and the other maids just actively mingling, snacks, serving, gifts..etc. It was a long day, but it was an active and fun one. I guess it's good prep for a bride because that's pretty much how your wedding day goes. It's just rush, rush, rush. Don't sit down. Chat, chat chat. Smile. Laugh. Rinse and repeat. And then it's over and people start leaving you.

Sunday was our horseback re-do. And I really had fun. Trevor was a little bored because it was a beginner lesson and he feels way super advanced at all things, but whatever. He married me knowing how lame I was, so he should be prepared for this. I kindly and patiently listen to him tell me the same stories all the time, even though I was present for the actual event and there's no need to re-tell me what happened. I think this is just fair compromise.

My horse was Bailey and she was way stubborn and did not want to trot. She just wanted to slowly slowly walk in directions I didn't want her to go in. Nonetheless it was an adventure for me. Trevor had a gigantic monster horse (it was part Clydesdale) named Mick whose only joy in life is jumping stuff. Not so much walking or running, but jumping stuff made Mick really happy. I'm not suddenly some big horse lover, but it was fun. I wouldn't mind doing it again.

Today? Errands! Oh the errands. Grocery shopping, making potatoes au gratin, baking a ham, taking my cousin to the mall to pick up her makeup thing she preordered. All the while? My body is aching like I ran 8 miles yesterday. Horseback riding apparently makes you use all kinds of muscles you don't think you use because, hey you're just sitting on a horse right? Except that thing needs to be controlled and when you have super stubborn horses you have to be all the more aggressive. Ugh! My back is killing me today. My legs are sore too, but I can handle sore legs. Sore back made sleeping awful.

Happy 1st Anniversary

2009-09-01T21:14:00.005-05:00

Happy Anniversary, Trevor!

How did we celebrate? I had a mild panic attack about my work and not being at work and kind of wishing I had more time. UGH. But you don't live your life, look back and wish you sat in your cubicle longer. You wish you spent your free time constructively and with people whom you love. So I did. I spent a lot of time with my husband. I made him a three course meal totally from scratch. Mind you, he seemed confused his Vietnamese wife made him such a convincing Chicken Tikka Masala and seemed genuinely convinced I used some kind of prefab mix. For our anniversary? Ugh, yeah...that's not my style.

I also had this weird desire to make mashed cauliflower. It seems like a forgotten vegetable that no one ever buys or thinks about. I liked it okay. You won't ever mistake it's flavor profile for mashed potatoes. It can't ever whip up as beautifully as mashed pototoes, okay? But it's nice if you just take it at face value as being cauliflower. Nix the heavy cream and butter and save yourself some serious calories. You can google it up; it's not a terribly complicated list of ingredients and it's not a weird side dish...one of those big restaurant chains carries it on their menu, so you can see it's pretty tame and easy if you have a food processor. It would have been a TON easier to make with a big 10 cup food processor. Eh, I made due with my awesome blender and it was fine.

We went out too. I can't spend my entire anniversary standing over a hot stove...although I do kind of love it. We actually went to Mill on the River on the day of our anniversary to relive a little bit of that nostalgia. It's a nice enough restaurant although it's not ever going to be QUITE the same as our wedding day. Plus, although it's a nice restaurant I tend to enjoy less mainstream American food. I'd like it a little more ethnic, even if that ethnicity happens to be Italian. Of course they took very special requests for the wedding, so I do give them a lot of props for putting up with throwing in Asian flair for us. It's a bit out of the usual for them.

We had planned to go horseback riding Saturday but unfortunately it looked a bit rainy and stinky horse poop plus rain just doesn't go together very well. So we postponed to the following week. It's not as though I'm the kind of person who cares desperately that we celebrate things on the exact day-of. The fact that we both remember to spend time together is the entire point of making a fuss at all about one's anniversary. My parents never make mention of their anniversary at all. In fact I have no idea when it is. I guess it's a cultural thing. No one in my family makes much of a fuss about anything except Chinese New Year.

Amanda, my Panda

2009-08-23T09:11:00.007-05:00

My bestie Amanda is moving. I'm trying to pick my jaw off the floor and then I'm trying not to be selfish and obnoxious. Things which are difficult for me because I genuinely don't want her to go, but I think that it's a good opportunity for her. I will however miss going out to eat with her, having endlessly unfocused conversations that snake between a dozen different topics, and cooking together. She'll be muchly missed by this Kelly. I know she's a little misunderstood, but I like it. I like her eccentric nature. I think it's a colorful splash of excitement in an otherwise boring and conservative dull world full of khaki pants and polo shirts.

I hate saying goodbye, (although given my history with death this year I suppose I should be a veteran at this) but at least I can always hop a plane and visit her. It could be worse. And selfishness aside I think it's due time that she get out. Staying the course has made her miserable. And if you're unhappy you have to do something about it. Life is simply too short to be spent doing things you hate around people who take advantage of your good nature.

I'm very supportive of her decision to go. I think the opportunities that you pass up purely because of fear are the ones that you regret. Fear alone is not a reason to give up on something. And the best time to take chances is when you're single, without roots yet, and the world is yours to explore.

On the bright side? If I desire to go to Texas I have another place to crash. You know, apart from my uncle, aunt, my cousins and various other extended family members out there. I'm not 100% crazy about this notoriously conservative state with 100+ degree heat but I guess it's more about the people you see rather than where you see them.

She leaves soon. Less time to mourn our loss, perhaps? In any case, if you want to reach out to her, I'd suggest doing it ASAP. Otherwise you'll likely miss the window of opportunity.

Best Barbie Doll Birthday Cake Ever

2009-08-14T18:35:00.005-05:00

People. Please stop dying. My little heart just can't take it.

Rest in Peace, Carol Ann....and everyone else.

Another Deck Bites the Dust

2009-08-08T14:52:00.014-05:00

The 2nd house thing fell through. I'm sad for Trevor because he really seemed to love it. But I'm sure there'll be others.

On the bright side, my husband has ripped up the boards on the back deck and is now in the mist of replacing them with the assistance of his bro Devin. The cabinets are finally repainted and all placed back where they belong, so thankfully the kitchen looks less like a construction zone. The same can now no longer be said of our back deck/entryway, but progress is progress. The deck was beginning to rot anyway. The house itself is over 100 years old, so you have to expect that with the charming quaintness you inherit a few repairs.

It must be deck re-do time because my dad just finished repainting his an incredibly bright light blue. I kind of wonder about the color selection, but Dad insists it's great. Dad takes some serious pride in his handiwork. Mom gets frustrated that it seems to take 5 times longer than it should to be completed, but my Dad's mantra is that it needs to be done in a professional manner and that just means taking one's time and doing it right the first time....so stop hounding me, woman! Okay, I made up that last part but it's a lot more entertaining my way.

And I have to say this now because I'll likely forget to on the day of since I'll be busy doing stuff. I'll be married to my Trevor for one year this month.

I know, right? Crazy! I'll have to figure out an anniversary gift. I hear the first year is paper. (Piñata, it is.)

It's super cliche and meaningless but I'll say it anyway...it just flew by. I guess that's a good sign that overall, it's been a good year. I still hope next year is better but I can't complain. I get to share my time with a pretty rad guy who doesn't mind that I get itchy for international travel every year. (PS: Now that we've gone to Europe I now want to go back to Asia!)

I'll try to continue with this theme but here it goes.
THINGS I DIDN'T KNOW BEFORE I GOT MARRIED

Mind you, I tend to over-research things so I really honestly thought I had this whole marriage thing pretty figured out. Naïve...I KNOW. But having lived with the same person for a number of years I figure that co-habitation in sin thing would prepare us in such a way that being married would be poof, nothing. Marriage is after all just a matter of mumbling some vows and signing a piece of paper right? When it comes down to it, those are the things that bind us legally as a married couple.

Right?

Well the first hurdle (for me, not necessarily for everyone) was changing my name. I was practically dragged kicking and screaming to change my name. I have a lot of personal reasons but foremost was it's MY NAME. I didn't want to change it, but I did because I wanted to be a family and I didn't want to wrestle with that whole hypenation thing. Sure we're just a family of two right now, but nonetheless it's symbolic of a committed union...plus Trevor really made me feel guilty about wanting to be a feminist who kept her own name.

Truth be told, it did not start off on a good foot since I was so anti-changing my name, but it was awful. Taking precious time off of work to sit in public administration buildings among incredibly sketchy people, not to mention just GETTING to the building and finding parking and navigating the line that gives you a number to get into the line to be serviced. It took a lot of patience I didn't really have.

Step one. Social Security Administration. You can mail in this one but I decided to drive there so I wouldn't have to part with my marriage certificate for an extended period of time and I knew that the moment I parted with my marriage certificate I would be asked to show it to someone to get something done. It's a rule. When you don't have it, people need to see it...that's how life works. At least that one's free.

The Department of Motor Vehicles. I don't like being at the DMV under the best of circumstances, but (at least in Connecticut) they take away your old license and they make you take a whole new picture. As many women will agree, taking a new picture can be traumatic...what if you have bad hair and an uneven complexion in your picture? You're stuck with that thing for years. Also free, but be prepared to beautified. Also since you're already there, be prepared to change your voter registration since you will have a new name for that too.

My passport. UGH. Kills me. I don't even want to talk about it but I will. If you've had your passport for an extended period of time and then get married and change your name you have to entirely renew your passport. That means your current (and likely not expired) passport that you barely made a dent in is junked and you have to start all over. New pictures need to be taken, new stamps need to be collected, new fees need to be paid.

The rest is pretty easy, but I think I'm still traumatized by the whole new passport thing.

And none of this is my husband's fault. I'm sure he didn't know about all the time consuming, anxiety causing red-tape, but I had to deal with it and he didn't. And I kind of resented him for it. I felt like in a partnership both of us had to suffer equally but in fact it was just me. He just got to sit there with his own name as though nothing had changed and nothing about him had to be compromised. Of course now that time has passed I'm 400% over it, plus I never have to do it again so there's no point in having a spaz attack over nothing, but at the time it was awful. I don't recommend it. You have to change everything. The name on your loans if you have any, your insurance, your car title, your cell phone service, any cable, credit cards, your doctor has to be informed, your dentist, you have to go to your bank and resign things with your new signature and new name, new checks...it's a huge laundry list of things.

Not to mention that whole sense of lost identity. At least for me. I guess if you have a really awesome first name then who cares if you change your last name? You still get to be Cher! Or Madonna or Lettuce or whatever...

Maybe one day we'll just all come up with combined nonsense names and both the husband and bride will change their names equally. So like, for instance if my last name was Miller and my husband's last name was Johnson we could compromise and be the Millson family.

Pots and Pans, oh just clap your hands, oh just clap your ha-ands

2009-08-03T18:49:00.013-05:00

Sooo, I only just broke open the box of my pressure cooker and used it.

I got this pressure cooker as a bridal shower gift about this exact same time LAST YEAR.

This clearly just goes to show that I did not deserve to receive so many gifts because I might be 80 years old by the time I break into everything I was gifted and use it. Mind you, I'm grateful for everything, I just might not live to use it all. And this was one of the things I genuinely wanted to have because I was curious how it'd work. In fact it's pretty rad. It's like a crock pot, only without all that pesky waiting time of slowly cooking all day. I do however have to admit that I was intimidated by using it. I've seen a lot of cartoons in my youth where it blows up and expels its contents all over the room. I'm sure a lot of other people tend to feel the same way; I've never seen anyone actually use one on any cooking show, my mother's never used one and my friends never make any mention of.

I think it's sort of retro. But so far I like it, and I think it'll be my new favorite toy when making things like stock that sit on my stove chugging along for hours and hours and hours. Instead of that I can throw it in the pressure cooker and be done in 1/3rd the time. Saves time, saves electricity (I have an electric range..sigh) and they say it saves nutrients and vitamins because they aren't all cooked out. I don't know how much I believe that, but I'll just nod along.

I was about to also use my cake platter/dome, but the tiramisu I made was way way way smaller than the dome and if I put the tiramisu in there it'd look so tiny and sad. Plus it'd eat up like 1/3 of my fridge space because tiramisus need to remain chilled due to all the dairy. One day I'll need to make a normal cake that doesn't require refrigeration.

I do however feel good about wiping all those glasses and goblets off the registry because ugh, yeah..I only have like one shelf in one cabinet available for glasses and those suckers take up a ton of space. Now that I'm married I also do not drink any more than I did previously. In fact, I drink a lot less...so I really WOULD be 80 by the time I finally used those glasses. I know everyone says "oh, but we'll need it when we have holidays at our house" but when is the last time I even had a dinner guest? My dinner table is positioned so that only three people can eat at it. That means, Trevor, myself and one lonely guest.

I've been bargaining back and forth with myself about getting an enamel coated cast iron dutch oven. I want one...but I don't need one. So I keep going back and forth. And then back and forth. And then I hover extra long at Macys looking at one. They are crazy heavy just empty so I imagine I might break my weak chicken arms trying to carry one from the range to the oven and then to the table. But I also don't have a good stove. It seems silly to spend money on something I don't need when I have 90 gazillion pots and pans already. Perhaps when I have a really awesome gas range I'll find it'll be a welcome splurge for myself. A gift for being patient and awesome.

That or I accidentally melt some more of my existing pots and pans by being a doof and thus need to replace them.

I melted one this past weekend because I forgot about it on the stove when I was boiling water. Honest mistake. I didn't like that one anyway...wasn't non-stick. Constantly had gunk stuck to it I had to soak repeatedly to get off. I know that chefs seem to like the stainless, but I can't get into it. I have to use like 4 times more oil to coat the pan and I start feeling queasy about how that's all going to be stuck to my arteries. (Never mind the fact I use olive oil...I still am convinced I'm going to die.)

What did I make this weekend? Lasagna rollups for my Trevor. I'm not the biggest lasagna fan, but Trevor is so I pulled together a crab, shrimp and salmon filling for the lasagna. Rollups? Well, it's a slightly less time consuming manifestation of lasagna that traditionally takes hours to cook in the oven. These, you boil your noodles, lay then flat on your counter and spread your filling on top of the noodle. You then roll them up like a jelly-roll cake...except pasta-y. I had a mix of tomato sauce from a jar and a homemade mushroom cream sauce. Your precooked lasagna rolls still need to go in the oven to get all gooey and delicious. I don't have a timer...I just eyeball it. Maybe 30 minutes?

I would make a horrific cookbook writer, huh? I never have any measurements and I never know how long it takes to do anything. But it was delicious. And I like that it's individually portioned.

I know everyone and their dog's best friend's cousin's chiropractor has a story about how their grandmother made sauce from scratch, but not me. My grandmother never even ate spaghetti and meatballs in her entire life. And everyone just does it from the jar or can anyway. They talk a great game about how they love homemade sauce and then just go out and by it prefab and throw in some garlic powder and oregano to pretend it was homemade. Seems a little odd to me.

How many ingredients do you have to add to something in order for it to go from unhomemade, to homemade? I'm curious...I'm not just being a jerk about it. Like, if I buy bread and take a slice, stick it in the toaster and schmear it with butter, I didn't just make homemade toast?...or did I? Does the heating it make it homemade? If that's the case, if I heat up a frozen pizza can I then claim it's a homemade pizza?

Some bubbley with your shampoo?

2009-08-01T10:12:00.009-05:00

Today? Someone else gets to wrestle with my chaotic mop of hair. Don't be too excited, I'm being boring and just getting a trim. I'm still committed to having long loose tussled-on-purpose hair. I'm psyched for salon time though. I'm a very recent convert; before the wedding you would pretty much have to drag me to get a hair cut because it was unfun and mildly stressful to pick a style. But now I dig it, I think I found a good stylist that "gets me." In fact it's the girl who did my hair for my wedding and I've been going back to her since then because she's so nice and makes me feel so welcome. Plus she totally hooks me up. I love it. I recommend her to local friends but I'll refrain from doing that via internets for fear I'll never be able to book a haircut without a 3 week wait. (P.S.: I am selfish.)

My hair history: I started off bald, I stayed pretty boyish looking until 5. I'm not ashamed to admit this because it's just a fact. If you threw me into a gender neutral outfit my mother would often get "what a handsome boy" as compliments. What are you gonna do? Turn back time? Buy baby toupees? My dad however was concerned my lack of hair grow-age would somehow correlate into my being a lesbian (ah, the worries of a first time parent) but he clearly needn't have bothered because it grew out like a dark wavy ocean. Where I got this thick crazy hair is beyond either of my parents. Where once there was hardly any, I suddenly looked like I was distantly related to Diana Ross. Ah, adolescence...what an amazingly awkward unattractive time for me. Thankfully as I grew older it calmed down, straightened a little bit, and I learned a few things about hair product usage and washing practices so now it's actually somewhat under my control.

BUT I still hate styling it. I commend anyone who wants to wake up an hour early to wash and dry their hair. Every hair stylist I've ever sat down in front of runs their hands through my hair and exclaims I have way too much hair for one person's head. Thanks? I never quite know how to reply. One day I'll have to make a list of snappy comebacks.

For Kim's wedding I think I already told this story, but I'll re-iterate and include way more detail. I wanted to give her a great bachelorette. But, as you might imagine giving a bachelorette party to a pregnant woman comes with a lot of intrinsic roadblocks. You can't have her consuming alcohol. You can't drag her around walking all over NYC or Boston or VEGAS the poor dear's feet would likely be swollen beyond recognition. And just going out to dinner is so benign and normal that it wouldn't even register as a bachelorette outing. We go out to dinner just on regular random days...your bachelorette should be slightly more special.

So someone mentioned doing glamour shots. Well that seemed funny enough, but a little too cheesy, so it morphed into doing pin-up girl pictures at a local salon, called Hot Rock & Dye. Because it would be highly inappropriate content to share...I won't. It was hard enough convincing the entire bridal party to do it at ALL because I had to convince them it wasn't the equivalent of selling your body on the streets. It's just a picture. Photoshop exists for a reason. You can wear whatever you want. If you don't want to wear a nightie, wear pajamas. If you don't want to wear pajamas, wear a...space suit. No one can make you do anything you don't want to do. It's never going to end up on the cover of some gentlemen's magazine. And whatever body-related issues you have...well, that's up to you to have. Everyone is their own worst critic. Believe it or not, I have cellulite and zits and a long laundry list of other things I don't feel 100% comfortable and happy about. But everyone has issues. Women have ridiculous quantities of issues, but you can't let it get in the way of living your life.

Soapbox moment, done.

I will however say it was a lot of fun channeling my inner Bettie Page. I don't think my individual pictures came out that fantastic, but it wasn't my bachelorette, so who cares? I also did not plop down over $100 for a personal session, so you can't expect perfection right away. It was a fun experience and I had a ton of laughs. The group pictures we took were nice and Kim's individuals were nice too.

HRD also did the wedding party's hair, so we spent a LOT of time at that salon between pin-up girl hair and makeup and then wedding hair and makeup. They were very nice and from what I hear weddings have been keeping them very busy lately...something I'm happy to hear from a new business because every business's first year is rough when you're trying to start up a new list of clients. Plus I don't really identify my hometown as a rockin' place and all the stylists have tattoos and super colorful hair and piercings...and are generally very "alternative." The fact that there's a niche for this is pretty rad. My Mother In Law told me there's a salon the town over called The Hair Saloon, which has a western cowgirl type theme...plus a bar.

Hair cut, plus a tall cold pint of beer?! What a time to be alive.

Plaza Azteca

2009-07-28T21:29:00.009-05:00

I'm suddenly full of this bubbling righteousness that makes me want to post.

So I kind of noticed I haven't done a restaurant review in like, seven or eight months. I promise I've eaten out in that time, okay? I just keep forgetting to write about it because usually eating out is followed promptly with a lazy food-induced coma. And comatose people? Not very good bloggers.

Plaza Azteca recently opened up in Manchester (CT, not UK) and it has inhabited what used to be a Macaroni Grill. It's a Mexican restaurant and although it does not in the slightest bit compare to my beloved Sarapes. But it's a heck of a lot more attractive looking since Sarapes is a prime example of hole-in-the-wall. You wouldn't be embarassed of bring a date to P.A. because it's big, spacious, and re-designed to look Southwestern-like with dark wood type decor and Santa Fe paint color. It's also pretty cheap. Even eating dinner there, most menu items are $10 or less. I do however recommend reading the full description of your menu item because a ground beef burrito contains nothing except ground beef. No cheese. No beans. No tomatoes. To me a burrito is a combination of tons of stuff, not just piles of ground beef, but that complaint aside I think it's a good place when a bunch of friends want to go out. And if you really really enjoy ground beef I guess it's a total win. Trevor got very upset at the server who refused to sub out ground beef for carne asada and then continued repeating the term "carne asada" as though it was something he never heard of before. Mind you, our server was obviously a native Spanish speaker from his very clear Spanish accent, so his confusion was all the more baffling.

It's cheap, the menu is not intimidating (think tacos, burritos, fajitas, enchiladas) and you'll leave full. I went with Kim and Lex once and both of them left happy. Considering their combined allergies, pregnancy restriction, dislike for seafood and general aversion to spicy things it can often be a difficult decision where to go out to eat so that all of us can be appeased. And I'm so over eating plain pizza, so I'm super psyched we can all eat Mexican food together and have everyone be moderately happy.

I've been torturing myself with home-pickled-jalapenos. It's so painfully spicy I physically break out in waves of sweat. Which of course is a sign of good food, right? I'm sure you're thinking this is an unnatural attraction to pain, but I'm lucky enough to be married to a guy who might like torturing his taste buds even more than I do. Usually I don't like pickled things but lately I've found it a nice alternative to allowing 99cents/lb jalapenos to rot in my fridge because I cannot humanly eat even one pound of the stuff before something inevitably starts growing fuzz. You can't say I'm not resourceful. But I kind of have to be; have you seen my fridge? I always over-purchase perishables. One day I'll learn that two people cannot reasonably consume 3lbs of cherries or 3 dozen eggs.

You want to pickle stuff too? I pickle like my mom does, like most Viet people do. No spices. No dill. No peppercorns. No celery seeds. Just white vinegar plus water plus a touch of sugar. DONE. It might seem a little unconventional, but that's everything you need to keep the rot at bay, and it's mighty tasty.

So I went anyway

2009-07-26T21:28:00.005-05:00

Okay, okay, okay...

I know I've already previously complained about these tupperware-like parties. I know it, but I still went to another one. None too surprisingly Kim invited me because she might be the only person I know who's moderately interested in these things, and since I'm lonely I figure it's a good excuse to not drown in sad anti-social feelings. This time? Pampered Chef. Which is slightly over priced cookware and cooking accessories.

I'm not saying it's bad stuff, in fact it seems quite nice. I just happen to not need anything because I already got gifted or have already bought everything I felt was important to have for a kitchen. And if I'm going to spend money on myself on product that pretty much never goes on sale, I'd much rather just save my pennies up and get some Le Creuset. But pretty much everything else goes on sale. If you wait it out you can usually even get a small discount on the coveted Kitchenaid Stand Mixer on those ever-frequent Macy's one day sales.

But thankfully I had some company on the ride to and fro the 203 because Alexis came along with me. It's not a far drive but it's long enough that it can be a little lonely and thankfully you can always count on Lex to be chatty.

Funny enough she didn't know I kept a blog. (Hi Lex!) I don't popularize it, but if you happen to have found your way here, chances are you were invited to my wedding and noticed the link on our invites and then bounced around that wedding site that Trevor never updates. Hungry for more information you found your way here. Because what I lack in technical finesse, I make up for in more frequent updates.

Why do I keep one? This was meant to be my own personal, not readily known blog where I kept my recipes and thoughts about food and eating. It still is my favorite place to babble on about my love of pistachio macarons and fois gros and fish sauce and lengua tacos. But ever since we got engaged I have meandered my way and it became a diary of my wedding planning experience, frustrations and general DIY thoughts. But if you think that you can come here and really learn something new, you'd be mistaken. I don't tend to talk about things until well after they're done and I don't tend to talk about deep, emotional or personal happenings. It's really very light and breezy info with a touch of self deprecation.

What is it now? Well, I'm not so sure; I know that time has passed and I'm a little different and my focus is different. I've thought of quitting a number of times. I do believe it's nice for family to have a centralized place to check in on me and notice that "hey I'm alive" and know that I'm not living in a box. But do I feel kind of dirty and gross about the lurkers? The non-family, non-friend folks who just want to peep in on my life and judge me? A little. But then I think "what the heck is there to judge?" I live a pretty good life. How does the saying go?

"Living well is the best revenge."

I guess since this is the first time I've mentioned lurkers, I might as well just say "geez, your time could definitely be better used elsewhere." Because I am not interesting and I never claimed to be. But if you're a beloved friend, or begrudgingly share a bloodline with me, then I guess you're stuck dealing with it. (Ha! I trapped you!) And even though it's boring, it's strangely captivating, huh? What crazy thing will this girl say next? Something about puking her guts out? (No wonder she's so thin. She makes me sick.) Something about fish sauce? Obsession with mineral makeup and french face cream? Oh the options...they are dizzying.

The Bracelet Story

2009-07-21T17:33:00.010-05:00

So, my exciting life of reading depressing material that makes me think I might die aside...how are things going? Eh, I can't complain.

Trevor put in an offer on a 2nd house. It's already under contract so unfortunately we're still awaiting some kind of notification if the first offer went through. Not to be super boring because house talk can get really dry, but the hope is to have a 2nd house under our belt sometime this year. Trevor will rant endlessly about his house plan, so I will refrain from talking about it because I've already heard the same story a dozen times. Summary? We buy a bunch of houses and those houses float the cost of our real-life house that we love.

Work? I'm still working. I don't talk about work because as we've all learned from dooce, you don't mix work and play unless you wanna get fired. However in very general terms I'll say that sometimes I have great days, and sometimes I have bad ones. I'd say I had a lot more bad than good in recent memory, but in the last week or so I feel reinvigorated and reaffirmed that I am not an awful employee person. If you can't tell I take it pretty personally if my work is not at the level I'd like it to be. Lame...I know.

I was just thinking I forgot to tell the bracelet story.

Rewind to the women's weekend at the Cape. I am done emptying the contents of my unhappy stomach and have replaced it with waffles with blueberries and syrup. (Hey, what comes out must eventually be replaced or I go INSANE. I am awful without food. I am the grumpiest grumpster ever.) So anyway, as I'm eating Liza and the aunts are digging through these boxes from The Farm of GrandMarie's belongings; more specifically they're digging around in her jewelery and picking out who gets what. Moms got first pick and then it tricked down to us kiddies (Susan, Candice and myself) and it was actually a lot of fun. I know it might sound really morbid to dig through an old woman's former belongings, but since I never KNEW her the way they did it was nice to kind of get a piece of who she was from looking at her belongings. Clearly from their prospectives it was best that Marie's belongings go to people who loved her and for whom it would be meaningful, even if it was just costume jewelery. So a few tears welled up in people's eyes and stories were told of how they remembered her wearing a particular bracelet or a particular necklace. It was sweet.

Personally? I don't own a single thing of my maternal grandmother's. I know that must seem awful but I don't take it too personally. She had like 30 dozen grandchildren and I am at the bottom of the totem pole because I don't even live in the same country and I'm like the 5th youngest. I think that things of value definitely went to her own children anyhow. But that Susan and Candice got to have things of their grandmother? That's pretty cool. I guess Marie had her mother's bracelet (Trevor's great grandmother), which listed her grandchildren's names. Included in the bracelet were Liza, Christine and Deborah. It was an amazing bracelet because it was HUGE. It was totally full of names of grandchildren. It was incredibly awkward if you were to wear it, but clearly it was built with so much love. All the boy names had boy shaped profile tags, all the girl names had girl shaped profile tags.

Along with this, there was Marie's own bracelet. I guess at some point it was gifted to her and it was a silver charm bracelet with her four grandchildren engraved on four separate heart tags. Susan, Trevor, Candice and Devin. Somehow it got to us because neither of the moms claimed it, and Aunt Deborah said although it was nice that she wouldn't likely wear it now that she's retired and no longer going to the office everyday. The girls went back and forth about it and came up with a few ideas about splitting up the charms or adding new ones. But after no one explicitly claimed it, I asked if I could have it. And no one said otherwise so I got to keep it.

I guess it's kind of silly because I never really knew Marie, but I think it's so wonderful to have something that was hers. I figure one day, if I should have children of my own in the future that I can show it to them and tell them it was their great-grandmother's. I can tell them I wish I knew her better, but I hold a piece of her with me. And hopefully they appreciate it as much as I do.

I wore it to work this week and I don't know if that's what made my work week so much better, but it really was. I felt like I had a spring in my step. I also tinkled as I walked because the little hearts hit one another so I didn't wear it everyday just in case I was that obnoxious person you could hear from a mile away.

Oh, and before I forget, after hashing out who received what of the various jewelery boxes, we celebrated our fun by putting everything on.

Cape Weekends

2009-07-20T19:14:00.006-05:00

The Cape.

Usually we spend our summer weekends (the ones not occupied with house type chores, weddings, showers and general obligations) at the Cape. It's helpful that my MIL has a cottage there and we can usually claim some time there if it's not booked with renters. Not including this weekend (which was wrought with many loads of laundry, vacuuming, cleaning dishes, sweeping floors...etc.) I spent the two previous weekends at the Cape. I just keep putting off writing about it.

July 4th weekend, they tried to re-invigorate the Triathalon. I guess Devin and Chris did it one year (like 6 years ago?) and they wanted to get it going again. This year it doubled it's numbers of participants because Trevor and Tyler joined in. Alex bowed out in the final hour but I'm sure by next year the boys will all be heckling him into doing it. I was asked if I wanted to do it but my participation would have been an embarassment. I don't swim well, I don't know how to ride a bike and I'm woefully out of shape. My general lameness is laughable. But I'm thin and everyone assumes I'm fit. Oh, how wrong they all are.

Tyler came in first due to a few complications. I'm still proud of Trevor for participating. It's better than what I did; which was nothing at all. I stood around talking to Alli and Maggie and their friend Alisha...while wearing a tube top. That tube top didn't look amazing and fashionable all by itself, don't you know?

What I like about the 4th at the Cape (not the traffic, not the overwhelming mass of bodies) is being able to see everyone I don't see all at once. Alex, Maggie, Chris, Ali, Devin, Liza, Dino, Tyler, Radfords, Harris's, Uncle Richard, Aunt Peggy...etc. A few of whom I hadn't seen since my wedding...last August. Geez. Time sure does fly when you're off living in an entirely different state, like 2 hours away from everyone else.

The next weekend I repeated the experience and went to the Cape again, but for the first time ever I didn't go with Trevor. It was kind of weird. Like, it was a girl get together of my mother in law, her sisters, and her sister's daughters so clearly Trevor was not allowed. But it's odd not spending my free time with him. It's almost as though I like the guy or something.

Joking aside, it was great seeing the girls because I never see them, well except for funerals and weddings. Candice and Susan are my age (ish) and it was nice laughing with them and generally being dumb and silly. It was also nice being around girls. I did however have an incident with some stomach ailment (probably due to some clams) and spent a good amount of my time curled around the toilet contemplating if I had yet emptied out my stomach in full or if I should try and push out some more bile. It turned out I needed a nap and when I awoke I was fresh as a daisy. In the meantime however I apparently gave everyone a good heart attack that I might possibly need medical intervention. Thankfully I was just fine, but I felt mighty guilty about making everyone worry. Not like I intentionally decided to empty my guts out but my mother brainwashed me well. I feel guilty about pretty much everything.

But upchuck reflex aside, I had a good time. It takes a lot more than a little stomach mishap to sour an entire weekend. If that was the case, half of my college career would have been a serious downer. It really was fun though. It's nice to be around family that acts like a family. Not like my family was bad, but being an only child I missed out on a lot of that sibling dynamic since...ugh, I was by myself. No younger sibling to torture into my will. I think I came out okay, but you always wonder what could have been. ie: If I had a sister would I have ended up a different person? More patient? Louder? More argumentative? The world will never know. But I think it's cute seeing siblings together and I think it's it's fun seeing the dynamic between people and the family members they spent most of their childhood years in the company of.

Candice is next on the bride list. She just got engaged and I can't wait to see what comes of the thoughts swirling around regarding this wedding. Backyard? Farm? Cape? Cape backyard? But really, whatever makes her happy is fine. Even if we all sit around in the backyard in our flip flops, that's great. No one is any more or less married because they opted for an intimate meaningful moment for their wedding.

I don't know if we'll continue this trend another year. Hopefully yes. I think it's nice to get together at the Cape and enjoy the sunshine together. Maybe next time we'll break out the nailpolish and engage in some fabulous manicures.

Babies on the brain

2009-07-19T10:12:00.007-05:00

I haven't been posting a lot. I guess the root of it is that there's not a lot that I want to vent about. And what's the point of posting if there's nothing exciting to report on? Not a lot.

Kim's baby creating is going pretty well. I'm not really right up in her face about it because wedding planning and baby creating are hot button items. People tend to feel it's their right to tell you how to do it and get upset at you when you tell them to take their advice and shove it.

Now, I totally understand that it comes from a good place. I'm not one myself, but I can see where one mom would feel it's helpful to spread her wisdom to a new mom. Where I think it gets out of hand is when you start acting like you know more than the new mom does. Maybe you DO know more, but maybe this is an educated, well rounded new mom who's already thought long and hard about her options, read a lot of books, talked to her doctor and made an informed decision about how she'd like to proceed with ABC. So when you barge in and say how ABC is so dangerous and how she should really just do DEF instead because it's so much better for the baby. Maybe it is, but at the end of the day, it's not your kid and if ABC makes her feel better, let her do ABC. Whatever.

Oh, and she's having a boy. She called me yesterday after her ultrasound to exclaim the news. It's exciting but I'd be lying to you if I said I wanted her to have a boy. I'm sure it'll be fine when he pops out from the womb and you get to see the squiggly little fellow but from a purely selfish auntie perspective little girl clothes, gifts and toys are much more abundant than little boy things. Plus Trevor is not-so-secretively upset that she wants to name her kid the name he wanted to name our kid (Tyler). I say whatever she wants because I was starting to sour on the name anyway and I know two girls in my high school graduating class who already named their kids that same name and although we're not friends in that technical, "talking-to-one-another sense", their kids are going to be peers with my kids one day and I'm spiteful enough to not want share that. And two people at work? Guess what their kids' names are? Same. I guess I never noticed before because I wasn't even thinking about having kids. Now that I'm noticing it's EVERYWHERE.

Not to sound sour; I'm happy to accept whatever name Kim and Vinnie want to bestow to their firstborn. I'm just observing a trend that this particular moniker has wormed it's way into a lot of folks I know. They could name their kid "Lettuce" for all I care. Anyone can name their kid anything and I would never argue with them about it. I'm pretty chill because, hey, I know a ton of Vietnamese guys named Dung. You learn to live with whatever you get saddled with...trust me. I can only assume you picked the name because it was something you truly loved to hell with the folks who can't appreciate the work you put in.

It's funny because every generation has names that are super popular. In my awesome 80's youth Jessica, Jennifer, Michael, Matthew ruled the roost. You couldn't go into any class without there being at least 10 Jennifers and 80 Michaels. Now that my generation is spawning the newest generation of Jennifers and Michaels are actually Aidans and Isabellas. I can't tell you how many kids named Aidan (or some variation thereof in spelling) I know exist in my small world of acquaintanceship. It's funny how we all swarm to be different ("I would NEVER name my child Joseph, that's so boring.") but then ultimately end up all acting like sheep and attracting ourselves to the same names anyway. The act of actively rebelling only to end up being a conformist. Ironic.

I'm not saying I know of a cure to this particular issue. I'm just observing it exists. I guess if anything it solidifies the fact you should just name your kid what you wanna name it regardless of how you think other people will perceive it. We'll all end up looking unoriginal and uninspired anyway.

In spite of this I've made Trevor promise that if we pick another boys name we love, he has to never utter it to another person if he actually wants to keep it. Because I don't personally aim to start procreating right away and in the meantime I know other people are planning on it and I would be heartbroken to have to begin the process of arguing with each other about names again. We cannot agree to save our lives though, so it might take years before we come up with something we mutually don't hate. I mildly want something exotic to harken to my ethnic background, but I can't commit to anything that really sounds like "it." I think when you know it's the right...anything (name, car...toaster), it tends to hit you like a ton of bricks. At least that's how it works for me.

Apparently even my mother-in-law had her name stolen, but in a much more malicious way. Well, technically she had her 2nd son Devin's name stolen but she was mighty upset about it anyway. She was talking to another mom who had said she was going to name her son, I dunno, Jason. Liza said she was going to name her son Devin, and then surprise surprise, the lady had her son first and she named him Devin despite saying the other name. People surprise you with the sneakiness. Liza's the one who told me not to share my baby names, upon penalty of being heartbroken and stressed out. Because the last thing you need when you're 9 months pregnant, bloated, grumpy and mildly insane is to worry about picking a brand new name.

I'm among the youngest of my family's generation of cousins anyway so I'm already stuck with slim pickings. The majority of my cousins are like 10 years older than me so they've already had prime pickings from the baby name pot for their children. So once I finally have a kid I'm going to have to employ some serious creative thinking (LaFawndah?) to pick one they haven't already swooped in on. You name it, chances are one of my cousins has already either renamed themselves with it or given it to their offspring because I have a gajillion cousins. That tends to happen when both of your parents are among the youngest of families with greater than 9 siblings. GREATER than NINE siblings on each side of that family tree. And then all of them eventually reproduce and it just gets exponentially out of control. I think I might possibly be related to half of Vietnam.

Thankfully Trevor's particular generation has yet to spawn. I think Susan will likely be the first though because she actually wants children and seems to like them. Me? I like 'em just fine from a distance but I've never changed a diaper in my life. It's not that I'm grossed out by them; I have quite an unusual tolerance for "gross" things. A combination of working in a nursing home in my teen years and being friends with someone who likes to pick up dead creatures and allow them to putrify in her backyard so she can harvest their bones for art projects once all their flesh falls off. I'm not easily grossed out and a little spit up and poop certainly isn't going to throw me into a tizzy. I just think it's a big commitment of time, money, effort and love. Seeing Kim go through this stirs a lot of emotions in me, part of me wants to do it too and have a tiny little person to love, and then the much louder and much more authoritative voice in my head says "are you f*ing kidding? Kids change everything. You can't even poop in peace without being scared your baby is crying it's head off."

If you want to have your heart ripped out of your chest cavity, you can read along with me at:
http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/
It's a family blog that this particular family started when they found out they were expecting and it goes all the way until the untimely passing of their 18month little girl from complications that originally stemed from her premature birth. You just want to cry, and then oooh over how adorable this sweet girl was. And then cry again. And then there's:

http://www.mattlogelin.com/
He lost his wife when she had complications from giving birth to their firstborn. I ran into this one first actually, but his verse style of writing isn't one I can read all the time because I get unfocused. (Me plus poetry? = Enemies) But he's grown to get a lot of publicity from his site and his story and getting through being a single dad with a newborn.

I should probably stop reading sites that involve people dying because it's totally a downer and "geez, no wonder you don't want a kid now. You think you're either going to die or the kid's going to die...awesome." That can't be terribly helpful to my general mindset.

Rest in Peace, indeed

2009-06-29T21:52:00.004-05:00

I've been kind of depressed lately. Too much this year.
Instead of expounding on all of them I'll shorten it down into list form:
-Trevor's Maternal Grandfather passed away
-Trevor's Maternal Grandmother passed away
-Trevor's family dog passed away
-My mother's brother passed away. He's survived by his wife and young son.
-My co-worker passed away. She was giving birth to her firstborn son. She never even got to meet him.
-In the celebrity world a ton of people have died but the only one I cared about was Michael Jackson.

Is it lame to admit you loved a celebrity? If you're a child of the 80's like me you'd be lying if you said otherwise. You LOVED Michael Jackson. I loved it more as I got older actually. I loved "The Way You Make me Feel" and "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" and recently rekindled my love of "Off the Wall." I feel like a piece of my childhood just died. I don't really care how other people feel about him or the kind of person he was. I think it's pretentious to tell people they shouldn't grieve. If your heart tells you you're sad, someone preaching to you about how he's a bad person doesn't change that. If you miss him, you should feel free to miss him. Listen to his music. Remember how great he used to be.

Oh, and my parents will never stop telling people about how I used to rip off my clothes and diaper and dance to Michael Jackson's "Beat it." Apparently it was my jam and required me to remove all articles of clothing to really groove appropriately. Everyone has a story like that though. I lack the ability to be mortified because it totally sounds like something I'd do. My coworker told me about her grandmother having really long drapes that she and her siblings would pretend to be stage curtains and they would burst out of the drapes and dance as though it were a theatrical performance of "Thriller."

I guess what my point is, is that life is short. People you don't really expect to pass leave unexpectedly. People who you'd never imagine leaving this world and leaving their babies behind, do. It's unfair and you want to cry. You want to pound your fists against your desk and bawl for the baby who never gets to know how much his mother loved him. You cry because you wish you got to know your uncle better. You ache for his son who didn't want to celebrate his birthday with a big party because he was too grief stricken to celebrate. You weep for them, but you also weep for yourself. You weep because it could happen to you too. Death isn't fickle. It lurks behind in the corners.

I don't want to be morbid. I've just been dealing with a lot of things piling up all on top at once and I think it takes time to work through those feelings. You can feel quite war battered but all you can do is appreciate what you have. You have to hug your dad and tell him how much you love him and pretend to laugh at his story, which you've heard like 80 times. You have to call your mom and chit chat about this week's sale on butter. You have to take the time to visit your friends even if you feel guilty about letting your house look like a wild band of pigs have inhabited it.

Eh, I still feel bad about my house looking awful, but I just blame it on my husband's inability to tidy up on his own. haha. And then I hug him and enjoy a bowl of berry cobbler with him and think how lucky I am to have him.

Wedding Bells

2009-06-02T17:43:00.004-05:00

I'm so backlogged. lol

Kim's wedding went off without a hitch. I do however admit to being drunk for a large portion of her bachelorette and wedding day. That probably really helped with the overall relaxed attitude I had. Apart from mine and the other bridesmaids generally being uncomfortable in our $200+ dresses it was a good time. We got our hair done (minus the Maid of Honor Kim's sis who had her hair done elsewhere) and makeup and took pics. Did the whole church thing. Ran a totally random errand for Kim and then really hit that open bar hard.

The bachelorette was a lot of fun although I entirely look forward to a repeat when it's Alexis's turn. A. Kim won't be pregnant by then and maybe I won't be THE loud talkative drunk person; I can always count on Kim to be my crazy counterpart B. I loved it. C. I think there'll be less girls and less "stuff" because Lex isn't interested in nails and toes being polished...so it'll also be a bit cheaper. We had our hair and makeup done retro 30's style and makeup and had pictures taken. They also had a facialist massage girl there but I was so preoccupied being loud and drunk and funny I never even got to that point. It takes a LOT of energy to keep a party rolling when the bride herself couldn't drink. And I couldn't pester her into taking shots or doing something equally ridiculous like I usually would. I'm not always the most sociable person ever, but for big events I think it's a travesty not to take advantage of the situation and really squeeze as much fun as you can out of the time you have.

I took a break for the sake of my liver for the rehearsal and then restarted the insanity for the wedding day. Though I waited until after the ceremony and all the picture taking to start; I do have some respect. I'm not a drinker in normal life so it definitely takes it's toll on you. I'm very familiar with my limits and not exceeding them. Plus I'm not 21 anymore. I was mighty exhausted the morning after. Achey. Slow. Not hung over but if I had two more drinks? Probably then, yes I would have been hung over.

I agreed to doing this bridesmaid thing again next year. I'm doing it for Alexis since it seems important to her. At first she wanted us to do it, and then she wanted to par down her wedding and said we didn't have to, and then after Kim's wedding has decided it's back on. I don't really care. I'm still entirely intending on being just as insanely loud and silly for her festivities as either a guest or bridesmaid, the only difference is the expense of the dress I'm wearing and my inclusion in a greater number of her wedding photos. If she changes her mind again between now and June it isn't a big deal. I'll be just as much her friend whether or not I'm a bridesmaid. I think it's kind of silly to feel like "oh, she asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding so I am obliged to ask her in return." You pick people you want to be in your wedding party because they matter to you and you want them to be around you and support you on your big day, not because you have a debt to repay.

Pictures? There are millions but it's not my wedding so I'm not posting any. Kind of an intrusion. Plus I was IN the wedding so I didn't take a single snapshot. Nevermind the fact my dad had my camera anyway so even if I wanted to there was no camera to take pictures with. Not like you are missing anything. We all looked greasy, sweat stainy and gross by the reception came around. Those dresses did not agree with any moisture whatsoever. I have a big splotch on the front of my skirt from the precipitation from my beverage and it's in like a dozen pictures at the reception. Lovely.

My friend Nini also got married in May but she did it in Cali so not so much local. She did send me pictures to look at and I'm happy things went well for her. We're not as close as I think we should be, but I love her very much and I'm glad things came together. It's hard being long distance friends but she did send some pictures my way and she looked very lovely.

It's funny looking at other peoples' weddings because they're nice but obviously different than yours. Everyone has a different "vision" of what a good wedding is. What a pretty engagement ring is. What wedding flowers should look like. It's fun to look at their choices. And it's refreshing to not have to pay for any of it.

Ahhhh....that would be the sound of financial relief.

J'Adore Paris!

2009-05-11T21:35:00.005-05:00

Paris was amazing. I loved it. I couldn't recommend it more. The only negative about it is that it's uncomfortably expensive, but what can you do about it other than accept the pain and realize it's a once in a lifetime opportunity to dive into a new culture. $4 Euro coca cola (roughly $6 American). And I thought NYC was overpriced. But Paris was clean. Paris was much more relaxed. I didn't think people were mean at all. I think if anything they were just confused about how to approach my mangled french. lol
I loved it. I loved the stylish people. I loved the delicious food. I loved the smells of the wafting french perfume. I loved the wonderful french bread. I loved the french-ified Japanese food. I loved the fragrantly wonderful vanilla ice cream. I loved the Monoprix. We went to all the "major" things like the Eifle Tower, Notre Dame, L'Arch de triomphe, Le Champs-Elysees and Le Louvre. Touristy of course, but you have to do it, right? The best part was the food. Hands down. Wandering around the Seine and finding a cute patisserie and stuffing our faces with croissants and french bread.

It was a ton of fun. If I were a richer person I'd happily spend and spend and spend and eat until I exploded. Trevor hates shopping so I didn't force him to wander around looking at expensive things he doesn't entirely understand. I try not to be too materialistic, but I can't help but go all doe eyed around a beautifully constructed leather purse. I won't lie, I broke down and I bought a little leather jacket after seeing how stylishly all the french women wore them. Seriously. I think 90% of all the french girls and women I saw had an edgy little leather bomber on. Skinny jeans. Colorful scarf. This is the uniform of your average Parisian woman. No baseball caps. No Khakis. Certainly no sweat pants.

But I'm happy to be home. I could rant and rave about Paris for hours but I genuinely missed my bed once I got back. My mom's best childhood friend lives in France and insists we go back to visit her for a more extended period. She's so cute. She reminds me of my own mom, if my mom were half french. And even she had a jaunty little leather jacket and wore fragrant french perfume. It's honestly a uniform over there! But I missed my bride. Kim's getting married at the end of the month and I'm sure the stress is eating at what is left of her sanity.

I complain and complain and complain...and then complain some more about this whole bridesmaid thing but you could not pay me to do my wedding planning all over again from start to finish. So very stressful. It was a beautiful amazing day but I don't envy any of my engaged friends. Wedding planning brings out the monster inside of you that you never thought existed and never knew cared so much about linen colors. In normal life I don't even have plates that are the same pattern on the table at the same time but for some reason it was desperately important to get the right color napkins? Your priorities somehow get desperately out of whack. And you get so emotional about things. You don't like my color scheme? Let me cry for a week. You don't think a wedding menu is complete without beef? Let me sharpen my pick axe and contemplate wandering outside in your bushes at night. I don't so much miss the crazy.

I even knew it was stupid but somehow it was still really important I do it just right or somehow every single one of my wedding guests would think less of my party planning ability. And the direct correlation to my great wedding planning and my personal self worth made sense at the time. I knew all my own friends would be cool, and I knew Trevor's family would love it, but somehow the opinion of my own extended family really got to me.

Nous allons a....

2009-04-07T19:47:00.005-05:00

Paris!!

And yes I'm talking about a transcontinental flight to France. I know we're crazy, since we don't know anyone in France, we have a minimal knowledge of the language and will be going broke trying to eat and entertain ourselves...but it'll totally be worth it.I've never been to Europe before and I want to see what everyone is so crazy in love with about Paris. Plus I totally want to gorge myself on real french bread, crepes, escargot and fois gras...and wander around looking at old stuff. Old paintings. Old statues. Old buildings. I'm geeked out just thinking about all the art.

It may amaze you to hear that I used to draw and be in an AP Art class in high school for kids looking to go to Art Colleges. That kind of makes it sound like I'm good...but I'm not. I just liked doing it and school will always raise up kids who genuinely want to try. I mostly liked pottery and drawing still life. Making pots isn't exactly ridiculously difficult or amazing. My ability didn't span much further than that, but I can tell you I dreamed of having the natural ability of Da Vinci or Renoir and genuinely appreciate people with that kind of skill. I really have no patience whatsoever for drawing actual people. Maybe those modern, minimalist paintings with like a circle and a squiggle.

Deja Vu...more wedding announcements

2009-03-24T19:40:00.002-05:00

Congratulations to Alexis & Mike on their recent engagement.
Dude, there's gotta be something in the water.

Not like this is a gigantic surprise. Lex has already been talking about getting married to Mike in 2010, so I'm not about to pretend like I was even half as floored with Lex's engagement as I was with Kim's.

So Lex is next. Thankfully for her we already found a dress for her that we love because while doing the whole bridesmaid thing for Kim I insisted both girls try on wedding dresses. Heck, we drove over an hour away for 10 minutes of measuring and chit chat. Why not try on some dresses? Kim and Lex were reticent about it but, for the time we ate up driving there and money in gas, why turn around and go right back home? Lex actually fell quite in love with two dresses and both were incredibly reasonably priced (discontinued-s) so I get the feeling she'll likely turn right back to that bridal shop in Newtown and snatch one up.

I look back on the dress experience and think, gosh I'm so happy that's over with. lol I know girls dream of their bridal gown but man, it totally drained me to obsess about the alterations and adjustments. Because if it's not done in time...you're totally screwed. At least I would have been; my poor dress had to be ripped apart and taken down 8 sizes. Kim's new blossoming mommy body I think it'll be yet another thing to be feel concerned about. Of course, seamstresses do a heck of a job with what they have so it'll work out fine. And thankfully Kim fell in love with a dress with a lace up back so we have room to let her in/out as necessary.

If it were me I'd be begging people to tie me so tight I might very well pass out. Not because I'm a glutton for punishment but because I love that kind of tiny-waisted Vargas-Girl shape. I'm suddenly in a very retro, old school glam period. If I only got married a year later I might have gone in an entirely different direction and enforced a different theme on my poor unsuspecting bridesmaids. Birdcage veils, anyone?

Personally I don't like stuff in my face itching it all up, but I like the idea of it. I like the classic old-school glamour factor.

The things women tolerate for the sake of fashion, huh? But the problem is, in normal life there's no reason to do such things. You really need an ocassion to bring out your over-the-top fashion accessories like those Kentucky Derby big-floppy Southern Belle hats. You can't just show up to work, sit in your cubicle and wear a gigantic hat with peacock feathers on it and not be considered totally looney.

Weddings are one of those few occasions in life where you can push the fashion envelope because, it's your day and you wear whatever you want and people don't typically berate you for your fashion choices. (At least not to your face, or on that particular day-of.)

We're not naming it Madison

2009-03-22T18:33:00.008-05:00

I have a bit of explaining to do. I haven't been keeping this up to date. But I have a good reason. The one I thing I wanted to talk about...I couldn't talk about until now. I couldn't talk about it because it wasn't my news and because when it's not your news you can't spoil it for other people. When half of her family didn't know I couldn't very well tell the entire internet.

Kim's pregnant...with a baby...Vinnie's baby.

It's due date is Oct. 31st, 2009. It's gender is still yet to be determined but I'm hoping girl. A.) Because girls are awesome and B.) She wants to name her son Tyler and Trevor is already in an uproar about anyone using that name because he wants to use it. I say, people who have babies first have first dibs. And unbeknownst to me the name Tyler has shot itself up to #21 most popular baby boy name per Social Security Administration. A name that popular pretty much guarantees your kid will be referred to by his/her last initial for at least a little bit of their school career. I'll happy to tell you we're not naming our hypothetical not yet in production children, Isabella, Mia, Ava, Madison, Michael, or Joshua.

So, seeing as how they're going to be welcoming a bundle of...something and are currently unmarried, they're actually going to be wed in May. This May. Two months from now, May. Originally they planned to wait, but seeing as how they're both Catholic, with a little parental prodding they are instead getting married now before the baby's fully baked.

I'm obviously doing my best to be kind, openminded, relaxed and accommodating because clearly a lot has to be done in a short period of time. But Kim's got the church, the reception hall, her dress, the dj and a photog so a lot has been worked out already. I think the worst of it was getting the bridesmaid dresses because Kim had her heart SET on this very particular dark purple (blegh) color with "venetian gold" accent. Just try finding that at Macys...you can't. So we had to do a special order with a rush in order to get this color of dress together by early May. The things I do for this girl.

I'm not super excited about this color but this isn't my wedding day and my opinion means pretty little so I'll have to learn to just shut it. I am however hoping Alexis will pick a significantly cheaper dress next year when it's her turn. There are many benefits to this including the fact that the less money I spend on a dress the more money I have to spend on a gift. Hey, I don't suddenly make more money just because other people get married. I make the same salary every two weeks; I'm not even paid hourly and I don't have the capacity to pick up an extra shift.

I think being married is great, but I think weddings are the source of a great deal of financial stress unless you've had time to prepare for it. That's probably half of why most engagements last a year or more.

Anyway, mindless griping aside there's going to be a new little person in the world. I don't intend to spoil it yet because it's the first grandbaby on both sides and I think the spoiling will be pretty well covered from all angles. I don't think there will be much that it'll be needing from the perspective of new fangled do-dads. In fact, it already has a crib and it's only slightly larger than a bean. By the time the baby actually comes it's possessions will likely take over the entire house.

With that said, I also have one more last bit of news to share. Trevor's maternal grandfather passed away recently. I mention this because although it's sad someone has passed, within in the context of everything it's actually quite poetic. Life goes on. Where one life ends, another is just beginning to bud. I can't say I knew Grandpa George before he had Alzheimers and when he behaved more like himself, but I can say that he must be relieved to not be suffering anymore. He lived a very full life. He saw his three girls grow up and have families of their own. He saw four of his grandbabies grow up into adults.

He loved.

He was loved.

And in the end, I think that's all any of us can ever hope to acheive.

Comfort Food

2009-01-19T22:20:00.002-05:00

Saturday evening was our 2nd Christmas. No, this is not a new holiday persay, but we pulled names on my husband's side of the family and we didn't all spend Christmas together so some people (myself included) didn't get their gift.

No big deal to me, but Trevor's mom pulled together a really nice meal (with Devin also cooking) and it was a nice excuse to get together. If not for holidays I don't know when I'd see some of Trevor's extended family members. People are busy. Life happens, but it's nice to see one another.

I made a pecan crusted pumpkin pie, an eclair cake, green tea ice cream and cranberry muffins. I did not bring the muffins; I simply wanted something to munch on in the mornings and my oven was already hot from baking. Pumpkin pie is something I have a love hate relationship with. I love the fragrant spices. I love the velvety texture of custard pies, but something about pumpkin pie is a little too mushy so I can't commit to eating a whole pie by myself. You might ask why I would ever eat a whole pie by myself but Trevor doesn't like sweets that much and if I made a pie I'd honestly have to eat the whole thing. So to offset the mush-factor I added pecans on top to add some crunch. I've seen recipes where they add crushed almonds right into the crust to add depth of flavor and texture, but I didn't have enough almonds for such an experiment. Perhaps another time.

Eclair cake was more Trevor's vote. I mentioned it in passing and he thought I should make it. It's pretty much a gigantic cream puff where you spread your dough out into a cake pan instead of making individual puffs. So it forms a gigantic puff and you push it down and spread your vanilla cream filling on top. I had enough dough for two gigantic puffs so I sandwiched my vanilla cream (which I added cream cheese into to make it sturdy instead of runny) and then drizzled chocolate sauce and whipped topping on.

It wasn't as pretty as I thought it would be, but it more or less created a big eclair.
I think individual cream puffs are better, but in terms of ease this was quite straightforward. And assembling it at the last minute right before serving was way easier than filling each and every puff at the last minute. I really need to work on my pastry bag skills because I'm sure THAT would make it faster but I always make a huge mess.

And I like talking to my mother-in-law. She's always busy so I don't see her that often but I think it's nice to have someone other than my own mother to speak to. My own mother is highly opinionated, constantly overfeeds me and talks to me about new recipes but let's face the fact that that's what I've grown to become. lol So it's nice to have another female figure to chat with.

I had today off from work for the first time in...forever? I've never had Martin Luther King Jr. Day off outside of school. Obviously when you're in school you have pretty much every holiday off. But due to Christmas falling on a weekend anyway this year they gave us MLK day so over the course of the year we'd have an equivalent number of paid days off as we have in past years. I spent the day having a long lunch with my husband at a Japanese Noodle place in Hartford called Tanuki Noodle. It was nice. I wasn't crazy about their pork, which was definitely not roasted (which it traditionally is) and it wasn't freshly boiled either because it didn't have the right bite or aroma, but everything else was good. Next time I might ask them to sub out their pork with something else but the noodles and the soup were yummy. And they even had plastic food in the front entrance like they have in Japan. None of the servers were Asian which threw me off a bit, but I guess they're going for a different modern, upscale vibe.

In any case I think it was nice and it'd be good to go back and try the few other dishes they have. The entire menu is one page front and back and most of it involves the option of adding extra meat, noodles or whatever for a few bucks more. I had the Kimchi ramen and it was mighty tasty if you like kim chi, which I totally do. Coincidentally my mom made some home-made kim chi and later gave me a small jar to eat shortly thereafter, as though to fully satiate my hunger for spicy pungent pickled cabbage. Trevor is not a fan and instead had the miso ramen. Ramen of course not being equivalent to what we think of as "cup o'noodles" fare. This ramen is the grandfather of ramen; before ramen came in little styrofoam cups ramen was legitamate home made thin noodles in an aromatic soup base. And in the same way that some Chef Boyardee could never beat a real bowl of authentic pasta with aromatic tomato sauce and basil, the same is true of ramen.

Real honest to goodness ramen is a Chinese invention, but as anyone who knows Trevor knows, the man is obsessed with all things Japanese so naturally we had to have Japanese ramen. Even though he's quite un-Japanese, his comfort food is Japanese food. It could be worse; most people tend to run for really unhealthy comfort food like mac & cheese, or fried chicken, or an entire gallon of ice cream. Predictably my comfort food is Vietnamese food. Nothing in particular; but if it has some nuoc mam pha on it I tend to enjoy it. Ironically Trevor can't stand the smell of it and I typically eat it all alone or at my parents house so he doesn't make his stinky face at me.

If "sweet" is in the name it's like dessert, right?

2009-01-12T20:36:00.004-05:00

Thinks it was a bad idea to eat 3 square pieces of pizza...and then 2 roasted WHOLE sweet potatoes.

I hop, you hop, we hop

2009-01-11T13:22:00.008-05:00

We are now feeling out the local food establishments. You'd think that having lived here for most of the years of my life I'd know the good places to eat, but you would be mistaken. My parents never ordered take out and my mother always fed me so full I never really felt any desire to branch out and spend money for food. My knowledge of convenience food is pretty limited. But this town is overrun with pizza places. What I wouldn't give for some spicy Thai drunken noodles, but the choices that are available appear to be A.) Pizza B.) Pizza related Italian food C.) Sandwiches D.) Chinese food E.) Indian food F.) Sushi

Thriving metropolis we are not. Although I very much enjoy my house with my garage and quiet street I am mildly jealous of the sprawling food selection in NYC. While we were visiting Tyler we had Malaysian food and then Japanese Ramen Noodles they refer to it as ramen but it's totally are not like that Top Ramen stuff you add water to when you only have $1 to feed yourself. It's more like hardy noodle soup with pork and egg and mushrooms floating around in it.

Our favorite sushi place is right in town and we've found a pizza place we enjoy and the Indian place two streets away isn't shabby but otherwise we must travel elsewhere to fill our cravings. My favorite Indian place is The Garden in Agawam. I think their naan is better than Taste of India and when you want it really spicy it physically hurts me a little bit. Just a little...but I like it. Spicy at Taste of India barely tingles my palette but it's not bad. It's still very rich and creamy curry. The problem is that I found a recipe for Chicken Tikka Masala and now I think mine is awesome and it seems like shame to order it in the outside world.

I have a confession to make. Today was the first time I have ever had food from IHOP. It wasn't bad. I can't complain too much; it was better than most breakfasts I've had at Dennys. I had the pumpkin pancakes and was happy with the mild but fragrant flavor of pumpkin spices. I didn't so much taste actual pumpkin but the nutmeg and cinnamon were there. I don't really like pumpkin pie that much but I just like the novelty of seasonal flavors. One cannot survive off plain maple syrup alone. I like having a few fun things to choose from and seasonal stuff typically satisfies my curiosity. I think I'd rather have brunch at the Mill on the River anyday but you can't always be a food snob and eat Eggs Benedict with mimosas.

They had an all you can eat pancakes special too, but to be honest all the pancakes I can eat are like...4...perhaps 6 if the syrup is good and there's whipped cream. It's not really a spectacular gastronomical show. I admit that at this rate I will never win the world record for pancake eating, but at just $4.95 plus tax and tip that if I were a starving college student nursing a wild hangover that it would definitely hit the spot.

It happens in 3's

2009-01-04T23:10:00.012-05:00

I'd like to start by saying I am cursed but on the bright side, if you believe that bad things happen in 3's then I am all set for a long time.

The short story is my dad accidentally hit my car while trying to do a K-turn out of our driveway during a snowstorm. He felt awful. It's all cosmetic. I'm actually really complacent about the whole thing because I figure that I've cared so much up to this point and it's done nothing but make me feel awful. Plus the moment I get my car fixed I'm 94.79% sure that it'll just get hit again. That's just how my luck's been. And really, it's just a car. The fact of the matter is that it's not anything special. It's not a person whom I care about. It's not even in a color I like. So really, why continue thinking about it?

Back to life.

I got together with the girls (plus Trevor and Vinnie) for New Year's Eve. A.) We needed to exchange gifts still from the holiday and B.) I didn't really want to be a loser with no plans for NYE and who better to spend my time with than some of my favorite people? Especially since they wanted to stay local.

We went to Union Street Tavern in town. It's...okay. The food was so-so. It was not epically disgusting and poisonous. (How's that for being slightly nicer than usual in '09, huh?) If we went to like TGIFridays I actually feel like the food would have been better. We had off and on service from our waitress who clearly could have worked on her social skills. Although to her credit we were a handful and I'm not sure how well I'd handle joking comments from customers either. But really, how can you miss a table where everyone is flailing their arms trying to flag you down? Literally 12 arms flailing around. Not just one arm being annoying but the whole table. I swear she was purposefully trying to ignore us. In short, don't go to there to eat actual food and expect it to be amazing but if you just want a few beverages from the bar you won't be overwhelmingly disappointed at their ability to pour beer.

I'm totally awesome at this "being nice" thing so far.

Alexis & Amanda are going on a school sponsored trip to Egypt so they were very excited about it coming up. I pulled Alexis's name for our gift exchange so I got her a little travel bag with TSA acceptable toiletry items from Victoria's Secret and then after feeling like it might be too small of a gift added a small bottle of perfume and a full size tube of mascara. I got a gift certificate to a local restaurant from Amanda who admitted she ran out of creative juices but knew I'd at least appreciate being able to eat out. Does she know me, or what? Kim got Amanda a (not totally authentic) wedding ring set because she had mentioned that it was recommended to have a wedding band on while in Egypt to avoid being harassed by overzealous locals. But it was really pretty and fit perfectly. Alexis got Kim a few different little things like a coffee mug and cup with mix. I remember it was a large bag and the mug had reindeer antlers in it made of cookies.

It had snowed earlier that day so not wanting anyone to travel too far had them come over to our home and ring in the New Year within the confines of a safe local place where everyone was welcome to crash if need be. Many awful unflattering pictures were taken and many ridiculous jokes were made but everyone got home safe and I don't think they experienced any hangovers.

Today we just got back from being in NYC to visit our friend Tyler for his birthday. It was quite a drive into and out of the city which I'd rather not do again but perhaps I'm excruciatingly sensitive because of my recent car...issues. Usually I take the train because I refuse to drive myself and risk A.) getting lost B.) paying for parking. It is too much stress to drive around and around in a place you're unfamiliar with but Trevor is much more gung ho than I am and we drove. Also, if you want to take the train you really need to schedule it way in advance and know the times. Fiscally speaking it was cheaper for the two of us to drive and just pay for gas and parking than to buy a pair of tickets on the train and then buy tickets for the subway...so that's what we did. Plus I was not forced to drive or else we'd likely still be in NYC because I drive very very very cautiously now. Old ladies have nothing on me.

Ty was really nice and let us crash at his place which was really nice for a NYC apartment. I was quite jealous of his granite countertops and kitchen cabinetry that closed all the way. But it was a good time; his friends were very kind. I couldn't sleep to save my life even though I was tired. All the other times I've crashed in NYC at Emily's it was the dead of summer and the AC was blasting so I didn't notice any noise at all over the white noise of the rumbling machine. I'm just glad it wasn't snowing because I don't know if I could tolerate the stress of the city plus the toil of sliding around in the snow.

It was an...interesting night. One of Tyler's friends got kicked out of the bar we were at because she kind of started an altercation with a bouncer and then everyone inside was left trying to figure out where the heck she put her coat. In the meantime the poor dear is outside freezing with NO COAT. I'm sure she was three sheets to the wind but it was honestly freezing cold outside, it must have been at least 30 degrees out. I had jeans, boots, a turtleneck and a wool peacoat on outside and I was still shivering.

Other than that I really felt old. Not because I was surrounded by annoying young 21 year olds; in fact I was likely among the youngest people there, but because I felt very un-party-like. I am increasingly lame as I get older. Example A.) I wear turtlenecks. What hip young socialite would ever wear a turtleneck, let alone to a bar? I might as well bust out my sweatervest and pocket protector while I'm at it. Then start conversations about long division. Also the bar was very hip. Hip in a way that CT bars are not. This bar's theme was 70's pornography playing on the tvs. As though to say "we're cool...we're sexy...and hairy 70's pornography is artistic and so retro."

Tyler seemed to have fun at his big b'day bash. Unfortunately he was already sick before-hand so I'm sure starting off the evening with cold medicine didn't really mix too well with all the alcoholic beverages that were purchased for him. He looked miserable the next morning but after filling him with food and ginger ale he looked slightly less green around the gills by the time we left. Poor guy. We'll have to visit him again under healthier circumstances. I'll bring more cookies.

Xmas '08

2008-12-28T14:02:00.007-05:00

Christmas was good. I hope everyone else had a nice holiday as well.

Mine was spent at The Farm with Trevor's family. My own family was invited as well but my mom was actually spending the holiday working and my dad certainly wasn't going to leave her alone. Add in the fact that my parents are a bit wary of driving places which they are unfamiliar. I had to drive my own mother to my bridal shower in order for her to attend.

In any case, it was a nice time. It was however punctuated by a lot of car trouble.

Yes. Car trouble. Times two.

First we're making our merry way out to Boston to visit with some of the extended family and Devin's car doesn't go into gear. It'll go into Reverse, but none of the forward moving ones will work. We were right behind him thankfully, so the boys (and a nice stranger) rolled it out of the intersection and we eventually got a tow to come move it back to The Farm to be dealt with after the holiday weekend.

Since Devin was without his car he jumped into ours. More specifically, mine because Trevor's car doesn't like any kind of precipitation related weather. We're sitting in a bit of traffic on the way through Boston (naturally) and my car starts to smoke. It's very obviously my car because it is coming from the hood region. After sitting in an overheated car for what felt like a lifetime, although it was likely just about 10 minutes, we got off the next exit and found that the hose to the coolant had exploded green coolant. The boys think that it wasn't attached correctly when I had my major car overhaul from my accident a few weeks back. It was reattached and appeared to be okay.

So after all of that, as though I weren't already traumatized enough from the original accident I now am totally petrified of driving at all because apparently at any moment things can explode, stop working, or slip and land head first into the guardrail. I'm over it. Bring on the teleportation chamber.

But the part of the holiday where we got to see Trevor's aunts and uncles and cousins was really nice. I ate a lot of cookies. Well, I made the cookie dough and then cooked them up Xmas Eve so we could all enjoy hot cookies. Nothing is more enjoyable to me than cookies fresh out of the oven. I like fancy dessert too of course, but there's something about a fresh, warm cookie with all it's warm cookie smells wafting through the house that makes it a total sensory experience. Lacking more time and prep space in my own kitchen I decided against bringing a dessert. Usually I'd try to make...something. But this year we bought some David Glass cakes and called it a day. They were delicious. Trevor's mom made the black forest cake. It's a heck of a lot of work. It was very creamy and tasty but I guess I'm not as much of a cake person because there was a ton of steps to get that fella assembled.

I had made a cranberry bread in our oven, our new-old house oven because Trevor's Aunt Peggy gifted me with a wreath shaped bundt pan and I figure if I don't use it now I'd never use it this year. So anyway, I throw one together and of course my oven isn't level and my bread is now lopsided. Naturally I immediately scream to Trevor that the oven is messed up. I think it's more level now but I am doubtful it is at exact zero. This old house thing means a lot of lopsidedness.

Presents are nice and all but I'm really quite fond of the family and the eating. If you asked me what I got last year as gifts I couldn't even tell you. The presents are a...non-issue. I like presents and all but I'm admittedly annoying and hard to shop for. My husband and I really didn't do a big exchange this year because we've already bought SO. MUCH. STUFF. It actually felt incredibly selfish to think about getting something just for me.

It's not too late to Apologize

2008-12-21T20:17:00.006-05:00

I've been reading blogs (what a surprise, she writes in one and she reads them) and what typically happens is that I absorb the snark and I begin writing in a much more abrasive fashion than I would ever actually express myself in real life. So if I by some irrational reason have rubbed you the wrong way I totally don't intend to rub anyone the wrong way. In fact I don't want to rub anyone on the internet. It seems both inappropriate and weird. I really just want to get thoughts out of my head.

It's that simple.

I think many thoughts...although they are rarely deep and meaningful. Thankfully I don't have to think wedding prep thoughts anymore and that's a huge weight off my shoulders, but I still have weird things floating in my head that worry me in some way. Mostly it's about things I still need to buy for the house that cost way too much money. Occasionally it's about how I really don't like working side-by-side with my husband on a physical task because we cannot communicate effectively when under physical and time related strain. (We are not bound to participate in The Amazing Race any day soon.) Sometimes it's as simple as "what the heck am I going to make for dinner?" but they're still there chirping away.

A friend had expressed that what I wrote upset her. It somewhat surprised me because I don't intend to upset people. I just write what I feel at a particular moment and I don't think about it. I say things that are typically factual, mostly opinion based, and somewhat self-indulgent...but I always try and make it a point to not single people out and say "dude, he was so stupid" or "that girl was the ugliest person I've ever seen." That kind of meanness is unnecessary. Mostly I will state the fact that I really liked, or really disliked a meal. That's pretty much the extent of my annoyingness. I talk about food a lot. I also do that in real life though so it's not really isolated just to this webpage.

Of course I apologized and of course I thought about it...a lot. I very rarely aim to hurt anyone's feelings. I can't even really remember the last time I was intentionally an awful mean witch of a person. Probably high school. And at first I felt guilty because, that's what I do. Actually to be more accurate, I have a very high empathy threshold. So I always put myself in someone else's shoes and in this case I felt that if the situation were turned around I'd likely be upset too. Not like, "let's bust out the Louisville Slugger" upset but a little emotionally bruised.

Now here's my own personal Kelly defect; I might listen to what you have to say, but if I don't agree with it...that's all there is. I won't even argue with you because I don't think less of your opinion. You are entitled to hold whatever opinion you want even if it is diametrically opposed with mine. BUT if I don't agree with it I'm not going to be swayed to being on your side either. Trevor realized this after shopping with me and realizing that even if he said he didn't like the shirt I was looking at, if I liked it I still bought it. It's not that his opinion doesn't matter, it's just that I know that I'm the one who's going to be stuck wearing it so my opinion trumps his. This is true of many other things than shirts. Politics for example. For some reason I feel other people have this same defect in them. So if I say "I can't believe you wouldn't consider eating lamb after I toiled for weeks picking out this menu" I don't really think I'm going to sway you in any way to trying it. Maybe as a child you had a pet lamb you named Betty Jo, and you loved Betty Jo so much and every time you see a lamb you think of her and it makes you cry rivers of tears in her memory. She was the best lamb ever. RIP, Betty Jo.

Hey...that's your story and it's okay, I won't torture you into bending to my will. I'm just a writing in my little blog. I'm not looking to change the world. So if you think my opinion is wrong, or weird or mean...it's not really meant to be a personal affront to your love of lambs or gigantic SUVs or purple leopard print pants...whatever. Just because I don't wear purple doesn't mean I will judge those who love it. In fact, my best friend's favorite color is purple. MY BEST FRIEND. I don't judge her lifestyle, I love the person inside of there.

(By the way, that was a joke.)

In all seriousness, take a breather. If I've offended you then you can simply make the choice not to read and we can still walk away and be friends. I still feel bad but what's been said has been said.

This makes me think of a really weird awful movie called "The Cell" where Jennifer Lopez somehow goes into the mind of a serial killer in order to rescue his victim from some kind of overly complicated death causing situation. I don't really remember the details but in any case, this is like a little flash into my head. It doesn't always make sense. It doesn't read very well. I'm sure it's riddled with gramatical errors but hey...you chose to click here. Be happy it doesn't have really gross images of inside-out cows being ridden by naked prostitutes (the movie had some very gory imagry) The things you find here might not be what you're looking for, but that's how people are. You take the good and the bad when you make the decision to read someone's thoughts. I think it's nice to believe that I'm 100% great and nice all of the time but the honest truth is that I'm just a person and I'm going to say dumb stuff. My opinion about purple pants will not always mesh with yours; I didn't ever say it had to. The beauty of friendship (or family for that matter) is that we're don't have to agree in order to appreciate one another. Also, 100% politically correct, nice behavior is boring. No one wants to read about that...trust me. It's like watching paint dry.

With that thought, I hope everyone has a happy holiday season celebrating whatever holiday your people believe in.

Shopping around Christmas time is for crazies

2008-12-20T17:28:00.003-05:00

Went to the mall today. It was as awful as I thought it'd be.

P.S.-Car is fixed but I'm totally in the market for some snow tires. I thought I was going to die on my way home from work Friday.

Who's been Naughty or Nice

2008-12-18T22:54:00.008-05:00

So...I really need to get some shopping done. Talk about procrastination. The only worse thing would be to wait until the last minute on Christmas Eve.

Hopefully the person who picked me out of the Secret Santa pull is better than I am and would complete their shopping much earlier than this but just in case...I'll spit out a few things that are always big hits in Kelly-land.

1.) Vichy. I am addicted to the stuff. You can never have enough of the greatest day-cream ever. Plus I am lazy and enjoy built in SPF in everything. Also I am fond of their calming solution liquid cleanser.
2.) Food. In particular restaurant gift cards because if there is anything better than eating indulgently, it's eating indulgently for slightly less money. Plus once it's used it does not take up any space in my home.
3.) Good sheets. I spend like 8 hours in bed every single day. I think having good sheets is worthwhile. Plus over time you'll have to replace them as they get dirty, holey or just magically destroyed in the washing machine.
4.) Gift cards that I can redeem at a store within a 20 mile radius of where I live. I know that seems pretty self explanatory but there's nothing worse than getting a gift card to an establishment that you cannot readily get to without a full tank of gas.
5.) A set of dresser drawers. Mostly because I don't have one and I'd fall over with joy to not have to pull my teeshirts out of a suitcase anymore. Being ghetto is fine when you're a teenager but I'm an old married lady now. I'd like to pretend I am mildly civilized.
6.) A single wedding picture album with pictures in it. Let's just admit it right away that I'm a lazy bum and I totally haven't made an album of all the wedding pictures. Dude, it takes HOURS to compile that kind of thing and find the perfect album is a huge undertaking for me.
7.) Authentic Matcha Green Tea Powder. It's really hard to come by in our neck of the woods without traveling way out of my way to the Asian grocery store and I'd like to mix it into everything. I enjoy the pleasant green hue to gives to ice cream and cake. I also wouldn't be too sad to get some Thai Iced Tea Mix stuff. I think it's a combination of tea and miscellaneous herbs. Man, I love that stuff. I can even forgive that weird unnatural orange color because it tastes so good. If you can't tell, we're fond of tea. Particularly iced.
8.) Comforters. I have two, but now that I have a futon and a guest room I don't have enough to go around, unless of course we have guests that enjoy shivering while they sleep.
9.) Alcohol. I blame Emily for my recent fondness for Amaretto. I don't drink even 1/10 as much as I did in my younger years but when I do I'm definitely not sipping on whiskey. Girlie beverage me up, man! Life is too short to drink anything that feels like liquid fire.

I have resorted to ordering one of my gifts online. I usually don't because it makes returning things really difficult for the recipient but I can't shop...just can't bring myself to go to the mall. So I'm sorry, my-Secret-Santa person but you'll hopefully like your gift. Otherwise, feel free to regift it to someone else. I totally allow it. :) I like having Christmas cheer, but man this year I'm running on low. Perhaps that's why I need the Amaretto.

Furnished...sort of

2008-12-11T20:48:00.009-05:00

Kitchen Island....Check

Futon...Check

Washer/Dryer...Check

Fridge...Check

We almost appear to have a home. I'm relieved to finally have the capacity to wash our mounting piles of clothing. Not like I don't have plenty enough clothes to last me, but I don't like doing a lot of laundry at once. Plus now I get the joy of doing laundry inside my own home and I don't have to drag it up and down stairs only to wait for available machines. And I'm glad to have a refrigerator which has door storage. The last one was mustard yellow and somewhere along the line lost all of the bars on the door that you would typically store your orange juice and milk in.

The kitchen is still quite small and even with some new toys in it I'm insane when I see things on the counter that shouldn't be there. The clutter is somehow amplified ten fold because there's only about a square foot of counter space and I loose it. I can't stand it. It's less noticable in a bigger kitchen but since it's so confined you can't get away from the mess...it's right in front of your face.

However now that I have enough appliances to feel less like a roaming college student I can now refocus on Christmas. Not like I'm Christian or anything but in my experience people tend to like presents around this time of year and tend to think it's weird when you're cheap, thoughtless and come empty handed. In any case, Devin called tonight distributing Secret Santa Assignments. Since I haven't really bought any Christmas presents it's good timing. Well I got my other Secret Santa gift for among my girlfriends, and bought Trevor a gift he promptly already ripped into well in advance of Christmas, but it doesn't particularly feel like the Christmas season.

Since I've been so occupied buying home-type things I haven't been casually shopping at the mall and accumulating Christmas gifts like I normally would. But since there's been an economic decline I don't really think it's a localized feeling. I'm sure a lot of other families are feeling less materialistic than normal, but it's actually quite nice. I don't want to come off as an ingrate because I very much like the holiday season and spending time with everyone but this whole present thing is really overrated. I never know what to buy anyone and they never know what to buy me in return. It's really just a lot of stressfulness. I know the root of it all is that we give gifts as a thoughtful token of the love we feel towards our family and friends but then it all gets so out of control because someone inevitably feels that they received a "bad gift" or inequitable gift was exchanged and it gets really uncomfortable. Or you feel some kind of gift competitiveness. It just tends to snowball into something weird.

So even though I only have one person I have to buy a gift for in this family secret santa dealie I still haven't figured out what I'm buying. I really need to get into gear, but per Liza the dollar limit should be around $30. You can't really buy anything really awesome and great for $30 so I'm a little confused about what I'm supposed to do.

I read a lot of posts recently about horrible Christmas gifts. I think it's funny mostly because it wasn't me. Like, the situation of having bought you a pair of earrings and then the next year you had forgotten I got you those earrings and you actually wrapped them back up in new paper and gave it to me as though it were a unique original gift. How awful...but terribly funny.

Moving on up

2008-12-04T21:41:00.004-05:00

We are moved in.

I don't really want to talk about the horrible stress of moving and being yelled at...so I won't.

We're living among many boxes. The problem with older homes is A.) lack of storage space anywhere B.) tiny little closets C.) creaky floors. The great thing about older homes is that they're ridiculously sturdy. This poor house has been quite thoroughly abused in the past few weeks. My poor couch is somewhat broken trying to move him in (and in particular up 3 flights of stairs) but you have to anticipate that things will be broken when you move.

It's not as though I invested in fancy Ethan Allen furniture. If any piece of furniture I owned cost over $1,000 I'd be a bit more upset but perhaps one day when we have our "stay for life" home then I'd feel better about investing in long-term furniture. We actually made a small investment I guess because we're getting a futon at the end of the week delivered to our home. Delivery is key. Delivery means we don't have to try and maneuver it up the stairs. I don't consider myself an old creaky person but it's rough moving boxes up 3 flights of stairs and then running back down and repeating it over and over again. But having a futon will be very nice. I've never had one. I know that's hard to believe given the fact I graduated from college but I'm not gonna lie, Em and I never invested in one because we were poor and we didn't want to bother with moving the darned thing back and forth every year.

This one's pretty cool. It's not that frumpy dumpy looking thing when you think of a futon and I think that's probably why I was okay with it. It's moderately comfortable for what it is and what we paid for it and it's immensely better than having house guests sleep on the floor or fight over the one (now broken) couch. It totally doesn't coordinate with anything but...eh. It's fine. It performs it's function of being both a seat and a bed.

We also bought a kitchen island thing today. It has not been assembled but I'm excited because right now I have zero counter space and when I was trying to make pasta the night before I couldn't find a space big enough to put my 6x8 cutting board down. I ended up putting it on a cool burner I wasn't occupying with a pot. It was sort of ghetto and sad so I complained and Trevor agreed we needed another piece of furniture to assist me.

We have less space now than we did in the apartment, but even with this lack of space we need more storage so we have to buy these things to manage the belongings we have in an efficient way.

Don't expect any fabulous Christmas presents this year; I've spent most of my holiday money on the house and random furniture. lol Kim, Alexis, Amanda and I pulled names because we all want to buy gifts for one another (particularly since for the first time in many years we've all reconnected) but are all struggling because we have our own economic struggles to account for.

Happy Birthday, Kelly

2008-11-27T23:26:00.008-05:00

Is ever so slightly older than before.

Yes, my birthday passed. No I didn't really party it up. I did have dinner the night before with Kim and Vinnie. And yes, I did have brunch the morning after with Lexie, Amanda and Kim at Mill on the River topped off with mimosas and lots and lots of chocolate mousse and birthday cake. It was a really nice time with just the girls. I think we need to do that more often just to catch up and laugh and have fun. It reminds me that I have friends and a life...sometimes.

Mostly it's been a really stressful two weeks of working all day long, and then working on the house all night long only to come home, rinse off the paint, dust and general dirtiness, go to bed and repeat. It's pretty blah. All we do is spend our time at the house fixing something and then when we're just at our apartment finally relaxing Trevor talks about the house some more because of course tomorrow's another day and that means another day's worth of tasks to do and then when I'm with my parents they want updates about the house...and really...I'm over it. There's been way too much time, energy and money spent on this house in the past few weeks and I've been oversaturated. If we don't talk again for 3 weeks about anything house related, paint related, carpet related, furniture related, packing related...I'll be a happy lady. There's more to life than the house; I know there must be.

You can only take so much of one topic before you really want to move on.

Thanksgiving was okay. We spent it as a combined family with my immediate family and Trevor's together having a later turkey day dinner in Willimantic. It was nice to spend it together although I'm so tired I think I would have been grateful for any respite at all from painting and carrying heavy stuff. I think I was most excited about simply wearing normal clothes all day and not being a big bum covered in dust and paint splatter. Also I threw together an appetizer so it was (although stressful) nice to fiddle around in my apartment kitchen one last time. I love that kitchen. I was not asked to bring a dessert this year so I threw together a spinach artichoke dip thing and made phyllo cups out of phyllo dough and my mini cupcake pan. That pan is so handy and I would have never thought it at first because, really how many mini cupcakes can a person consume? But once you realize you can use it to form individually sized anything a world of possibilities opened itself up to me. lol That sounds ridiculously lame, but that's the kind of person I am.

I think it's starting to become a sort of unofficial holiday rule that when it's Thanksgiving we sort of celebrate with some Kelly birthday candles. I think it's really sweet that Liza and Devin remembered and made me an actual cake this year along with the traditional Thanksgiving pie. This year's birthday somehow felt like it totally fell between the cracks. Even though my husband sent roses to the office, and even though I got a spectacular brunch out with the girls (it felt very "Sex and the City" to be sitting around talking at a restaurant mid-day with mimosas in hand while gossiping) this year's birthday kind of felt...not special. Not to say every year needs to be some kind of huge blowout but I guess I just feel a little sad the house came out being more important and ate up all of the time that would have otherwise been spent with my loved ones and husband. I'm not trying to throw some kind of big pity party because I've very blessed with many loved ones who remembered it and I'm lucky to have a home when there are many people who are not quite as fortunate. It's hard to find the words that are neither too whiny nor too lax but I just also wish that things were different, that's all.

Now, back to painting and being covered in dust and splatter.

Crash Crash Bang Bang

2008-11-12T23:35:00.005-05:00

So since I've had some time to mull it over and internalize my little fender bender I'll start off by complaining about my rental car.

I'm driving an 2008 Nissan Sentra. It's...alright. It's not as underpowered as my mom's '03 Corolla, but it's sort of plastic and cheap looking/feeling. Not like my Mazda3 is lavish by any means, but even though it's plastic and cloth it still appears modern. This doesn't appear all that visually stimulating and it's really loud (engine noise-wise) in comparison to my 3. I'm only just starting to get used to it but it handles a lot differently and I miss my own car even if does eat more gas. I'll say the seats are pretty comfy, but the material seems like it's a magnet for stains. I'm driving the bottom rung of Sentra that doesn't have a clicky thing to unlock your doors and no electronic means to adjust your mirrors. No big deal as a commuter car but I do very much miss my remote starter. Once you have one you can't look back...you become spoiled by running into a warm vehicle. I'm also confused by the cupholder, which apparently can't hold just one cup because it slides all over the place. It works better if you have 3 bottles of something in there, then there's no room for liquids to rattle around and spill. I've already spilled my coffee a bunch of times because he was sitting in there all by himself without any bottle buddies.

I'm really exhausted, but work's been a lot better. I've been able to work through all my plans even though the market has still been volitile I think people are now getting used to it and realize that while it might be down 200 points one day it'll be up again within a few days. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but rich guys like Warren Buffet made their money buying into things on the cheap when stocks were low and undesireable and waited it out until the market got better and realized a significant gain on the initial investment. If you're a skiddish investor then don't buy into something risky...period. I think what happens is that people get greedy and they see that their pal bought into Fund X and was bragging about how he made a ton of money and then they decide they want to get in on the action. The difference here however is the market timing. If you're buying when everyone else has realized something is hot, it's going price is going to be a lot higher and you're not guaranteed to see the same return your friend did.

If it were that easy to get rich, everyone would be rich. I'm not saying that investing is bad, quite the opposite in fact but I think your average Joe doesn't know what he's doing and jumps into something for all the wrong reasons and then ends up lamenting his decision. Be smart and educate yourself about what your money is going into; don't assume it's good just because other people said it was.

I'm reminded of a Simpsons episode where Bart Simpson for whatever reason found himself in a position where he received a lot of stock options into a company. I believe he had an idea for a comic strip and a company bought him out and paid him purely in stock. While it was going strong they literally handed people stock like napkins. I think they had them printed on their toilet paper. Later on the company goes under, totally bankrupt and he goes back to them asking about his money because he's got like 3,000 shares of this thing. Unfortunately 3,000 shares of something that's worth nothing is nothing.

It just goes to show that you can learn anything from the Simpsons.

Crash and Survey

2008-11-08T18:11:00.006-05:00

I recently got into a car accident. As such my mind is wandering all over the place and I kind of want to space out but at the same time I think it's important to write otherwise my mind might very well explode from too many things being inside of it.

What's your name? Kelly, although I'm having an identity crisis now since I can't seem to remember my new married name.

Where do you live? Right here...for now until the house is done and then we'll be back in my old hometown.

How old are you? 25 going on 26 in a few weeks. Unfortunately due to all the house stuff I'll likely be busy painting and packing and cleaning.

What are you doing right now? Watching "When Harry met Sally." I love the old married couples in between scenes talking about how they met. I particularly like the really old Asian couple and the old man keeps saying "wery" instead of "very." They are SO cute.

Favorite food? I am a lover of all food, but whenever I see duck on a menu I have to have it.

Dessert? I'm typically fond of tiramisu but I have to say those little mousse cup things at the wedding were RIDICULOUS. I could live off of those alone....although I'd be really fat and likely covered in zits.

Drink? I'm a big fan of the Canada Dry Green Tea Ginger Ale. Fizzy from the soda, refreshing from the tea and a nice palate cleanser from the ginger.

What do you want to be when you grow up? A better, less materialistic, less jealous, more kind, slightly less snarky version of who I am. I don't feel like I've hit the point where I really feel "grown up"

If you could have dinner with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be? I think it'd be pretty awesome to have dinner with Anthony Bordain. Even if he's really opinionated and mean I figure at very least we'll have an amazingly delicious meal, or something really weird like bone marrow.

If money weren't an object what kind of car would you drive? Probably some kind of small Japanese thing. I have a soft spot for the Lexus SC430 although that's not terribly family friendly.

If you were stranded on a desert island and you could pick just one thing to bring with you, what would it be? Trevor. Because I love him and I kind of already promised to spend the rest of my life with him plus...I have no real survival skills and would greatly need assistance to get into the groove of having no electricity, running water or internet.

In one word describe your...
Best friend: Blonde
Crush/Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Spouse: Trev-arrh
Pet: None
Means of Transportation: Rental
Home: Box-full (is that a word?)
Day: Rainy
Favorite CD: Round? lol
Job: 401(k)
Favorite color: Green
School: UConn
Computer: Toshiba
Hair: Chaos
Eyes: Almond

Sweater or sweatshirt? Sweater for sure. Sweats look sloppy.

Coach or Dooney? Coach...Dooney looks like what 14 year olds would carry.

Jeans or Khakis? Jeans if given a choice but khakis tend to be more work appropriate.

Heels or flats? Heels for work, flats for shopping and general walkability.

Drink or smoke? Drink...smoking is disgusting.

Red or Blue? Well since I live in Connecticut I guess I'm a Blue state.

White after Labor Day? Sure, just be careful of spills.

Candy or flowers? Flowers I guess. Candy makes me feel fat and zit-y

Rain or Shine? Shine!

Cats or Dogs? Dogs...they're significantly less likely to scratch your eyes out.

McDonalds or Burger King? Hmmm...I'd pick Whoppers over Big Macs. But Burger King hasn't banned trans fats yet so it's a hard call.

Coffee or tea? Coffee, but I do like both very much.

Single or taken? Married

Comedy or Tragedy? Comedy. I don't really like to be upset by movies.

Cars or trucks? Cars. I can't figure out how to back-up safely in big vehicles and I like backing up into my parking spots.

Yes, We Can

2008-11-06T22:26:00.004-05:00

I guess it'd be really weird if I didn't mention the election. It'd be kind of like ignoring the elephant in the room. It's a historic time and I'm sure many of us will be talking about this for a very long time.

What I don't really perhaps...grasp is the whole racial undertone to it. I know it's historically valid and important to be the first African American President but at the same time it's not as though I voted for a race, you (hopefully) vote for a person, an individual you hope is competent and lives up to their promises. Perhaps if I were also African American it would speak more to my own personal strife and experience and the general historicness would resonate in me with a more profound significance. It's hard to say. Perhaps sometime in my lifetime we might have an Asian American President and I'll be able to have something to compare it to. You simply never know.

If nothing else, I think this proves that anyone really can be President. All the little girls and little boys really can see an extension of themselves up there in a position of great importance and know it's possible to attain. I think that in it self is a great pattern to start.

I won't rant at great length about my political beliefs because you'll almost always realize that there will be people you greatly care about, respect and have befriended do not share your opinion and will find it somehow in your best interest to berate you about how wrong you are. I don't know why, but politics has a way of lighting a fire in people and dividing them when everyone's entitled to their own opinion. Be it a snarky, annoying, or just plain offensive one your opinion is your own and you're entitled to hold it.

In any case, it's a riveting time to be alive during. People are losing their homes with defaulted loans. The economy is like a rollercoaster. We have the first Black President. I can't help but wonder what's up next.

Gifts and cards

2008-10-07T21:26:00.026-05:00

I haven't been posting. I've been really busy with work...and I hate saying that because that sounds so uninteresting and generic but it's true. When your work is tied to the stock market and everything is tanking to record lows you'll find that it drags you right down along with it. But I don't dare complain about work because I'm quite happy that I still have a job given the current economic environment.

In non-work news, now that I'm a married lady the next natural question that people tend to ask is "when are you going to have kids?" And my answer is, "eventually...but certainly not tomorrow."

Sorry to disappoint but as of this moment I don't care to be bogged down by a tiny, screaming, pooping monster. Not to sound like a heartless baby hater because I'm actually quite fond of children but I'm not naive enough to think that our lives will be as carefree after one enters the picture as it is right now. Children are a life-long commitment.

In short, I just want to be selfish, married and happy for a while. I think there's plenty of time to be endlessly worried, scared about not being about to afford putting them through college, and wondering if they'll grow up to resent me.

I'm actually much more excited about the prospect of one of my friends getting married rather than the entire baby thing. Particularly if I get to play bridesmaid since I think it's generally quite fun to plan a wedding...the hard part is paying for it. Planning, gluing, tying bows, trying on dresses, laughing with your friends over the ridiculous dresses and how that one made you look like the Stay Puff Marshmallow guy...now that's fun. Plus I like buying gifts.

Speaking of gifts...I gave each of the girls silver necklaces as part of their cumulative attendant gifts. They each received circle pendants with tiny diamond...chips which I admit are nothing worthy of great fanfare. However it's something that I would enjoy receiving if I were to be some one's bridesmaid. It's the kind of gift that isn't wedding specific, (ehem, bridesmaid logo tees) plus it's not costume jewelry so it's got a better chance of surviving the years. I have nothing against fake jewelry but it doesn't make a very good statement when you're giving cubic zirconia as a gift, ya know? If a gift is a physical representation of your appreciation for someone then it's kind of bad form to give them something artificial. (On a side note, reasons like that are why I'm a horrible person to have to buy a gift for. I think far too hard about it's symbolism.)

I also got each girl a coordinating sash to go with their dresses (I'd never want for them to dole out more money for a tiny sliver of material. I feel that as a bridesmaid you are only ever obligated to buy a dress and shoes), a small bottle of honeysuckle perfume and ring pops....because I just like the idea of ring pops. It's cheesy and funny and then they can all have big rocks on their fingers too...albeit made of sugar.

Sashes are pretty hot stuff in wedding fashion these days. I'm surprised at the boom. I'm glad I didn't jump into that pick-up skirt phenomenon though. It seems like it'll be very dated when we look back at pictures of it in about 10-20 years. If you love it, you love it. Things become popular for a reason.

Trevor gave the boys bottles of alcohol which, was likely a bad idea but they seemed to appreciate it at the time.

I did finish sending out most of my thank yous. I would have completed them almost immediately after the wedding since there was about a week between the wedding and our honeymoon but I wanted to insert little wallet sized pictures into the thank yous as a final...I don't know...flourish. I think it's a nice gesture. I know some people do the customized cards, with their faces actually printed onto the cards, but eh, this was faster. It can take weeks to get the custom dealies and regardless of what the etiquette books tell you no one likes to wait for a thank you note. The sooner you send it the better. If I had the foresight I should have pre-addressed all of the thank you notes before the wedding so I only had to worry about filling them out and sealing them. It would have made it tons faster.

I say I finished *most of my thank yous because I didn't bother with the friends who don't strike me as thank you card people. There are are people who I don't see everyday whom I know appreciate it, or at least appreciate knowing I got their gift, and then there are people I see everyday who know I got their gift and don't really care about more mail. And if you didn't give me a gift I didn't send you a card. I'm sure that's probably bad form, but once I get your gift I will send you a card in thanks. I think it'd be weird to send a thank you, and then perhaps in a few months time receive a gift and then not know if I should send a 2nd one.

Plus I'm lazy, and I'm done wax sealing all of my wedding related mail. It takes so much time to make sure I don't dribble goo all over the envelopes and then I'm sure they're likely demolished in the mail anyhow. It's beautiful and wonderful to me but it probably looks like a big red snot by the time it enters your mailbox.

The house is coming along. It's not move in ready and we have to move out in November from our apartment. I'm a little concerned about the progress but Trevor seems quite convinced that it's do-able.

I know most people likely want to run far far away from their sleepy little hometown but I'll be psyched to be moved back because it puts me a lot closer to my parents, my friends and work. Although we're no more than 15 minutes away, it seems as though we almost never have visitors. Even my parents stopped coming over for dinner here after a while. Now I always have to drive to have dinner at their house, which is fine because my mom is a far better cook than I am, but it's a bit of a hassel driving all around the place. Trevor works from home so we could live in Iowa out in the cornfields and it wouldn't be any more inconvenient for him than it is already as long as he has an internet connection.

Cathy & Casey's Wedding

2008-09-20T01:50:00.011-05:00

Yesterday I hung out with Lexie & Kim baking. I decided on boston cream cupcakes and Kim made a mix of different candy bar innards for her cupcakes in lieu of pudding. All in all it was a lot of fun and very indulgent. Even Lexie's mom was saying how she was having flashbacks because the last time all three of us were piled together laughing and being silly was like 8 years ago.

A lot changes, but a lot stays the same. Kim and Lexie still lovingly bug one another, I'm still the kindhearted mediator and there's a lot of laughing. Kim and Lexie talk about boys and I calmly listen on and chirp in my two cents where appropriate. I think that's always a good sign of a significant friendship; you can just pick up right where you left off like no time has passed. We caught up on what I missed while I was away; I talked about my honeymoon; Lex about her new job...etc. I think it's a bit of a longshot considering everyone's current economic status but the next time I do a cruise I think it'd be fun to do as a group. It's nice going with my husband of course but we don't share all of our interests so it'd nice for boys to share in physical things like climbing rock walls and playing basketball and then for the girls to sit around the pool and chit chat and shop. I don't know if this will ever be realized but it's a nice idea.

Lex is thinking about throwing a Halloween party. I'm unsure of what I'd like to dress up as but I better get hopping since it's already September. Trevor vetoed my idea already. (I won't share it yet in case he changes his mind.) The problem is that any of the good male counterparts to girl costumes tend to be kind of effeminate princes that wear stockings.

Today, was Cathy & Casey's wedding day. For all of you who are not in the know, Cathy is my childhood friend. She was my first friend in kindergarden in fact. But since she moved to Montana a few years back we've been out of touch. She got engaged in February (I only remember this because it was during her birthday) and it's been a bit hard getting married in Connecticut and living in Montana. I know this mostly because Cathy chose Kim to be her maid of honor and since Kim was also my maid of honor I've been getting a ton of secondhand information.

To be totally diplomatic I'll say that I was not around for any of it because I was on my honeymoon and I was not actually around to see what happened firsthand, but to make a long story short Kim and Cathy had a falling out and Kim (a week before the wedding) got fired from her duties of maid of honor. Of course, that made things a bit...awkward.

Not like I would have ever skipped Cathy's wedding just because she and Kim have beef with one another; that'd be unbelievably petty and stupid. The fact is that regardless of what's been going on behind the scenes and regardless of what people have said in the heat of the moment that Cathy will only have this one day which she marries Casey and I know that if things were reversed that I would be heartbroken if people I loved didn't come to my wedding day.

Having said that, I wish that Kim was there because it simply wasn't the same without her boundless energy, positive attitude and silly humor. I did get to spend time with high school friends I haven't seen in a while though Jeff wasn't there and I had hoped to see him since I had so little time at my own wedding to play catch up.

Cathy got married at the Salvation Army, which apparently has affiliations to the church (the things you learn everyday). Somehow my mind never put together that there would be a full on church with pews and stained glass in a building labeled Salvation Army. It was a short ceremony though; probably about as long as my own brief civil ceremony. I did take pictures but my camera totally freaked out and over half of them were way way too dark or really fuzzy and unfocused. Eh, I'm sure my own guests had the same complaint since my reception hall is pretty dark and cave-like; you can't control all the lighting in the world. Cathy had a very girlie, very fluffy, very...scrunchy dress. I have difficulty finding the words to describe it with any justice but if you happen to be the kind of person who's in the market for a bridal gown you'll know what I mean by "scrunchy." It's quite a popular trend these past years and every bridal salon has them. In particular I recognized the dress from the David's Bridal catalog. It looked beautiful on her; the white dress was a stunning contrast to her creamy dark skin and jet black hair.

She and Casey wrote their vows. I know mostly because I saw them both bust out index cards and if you know Cathy at all you'll know she had some dramatic hand movements to pantomime that she was calming herself down before saying her little piece. The girl talks with her hands.

Other than that the wedding wasn't packed with many surprises. Even though there were some dramatic things going on before with the bridal party it appeared everything still went off without a hitch once it mattered. The reception was local at LaRenaissance, which I appreciated because I only had to drive 10 minutes to get home. I didn't stay the whole time because Trevor and I are still recovering from being sick after the cruise. I felt bad having Trevor stay and blow his nose on cocktail napkins. Plus, the DJ was very bossy. He made people form a conga line, and he made them twist and he forced everyone on the floor for things...it was a little more aggressive than I like. I saw the mother and son dance but even after staying well past 10pm there wasn't a father daughter dance that I saw. Cathy's dad doesn't strike me as a big dancer.

Appetizers were good. Fried stuff, and stuffed mushrooms are pretty hard to mess up. This was my 2nd buffet style wedding. So far I haven't had much luck enjoying it. Seeing the line and knowing I'm at the end of it is a different kind of frustration; plus there are always little blips in the line that cause little traffic jams. I think instead of 2 round tables and a carving station there should have been a less confusing method like a single straight line.

Cake cutting was cute. No champagne for the toasts. Favors were a donation to (you guessed it) The Salvation Army. They had a wishing well type thing for cards. I didn't see any pieces of paper and pens so I don't think they actually wanted wishes to be put in there. The couple didn't want people to clink their glasses to make them kiss they instead wanted people to sing a song with love in it; but no one knew this because you have to tell people for them to be prepared with song. The only reason I know about this is because Tracey told me. And I inadvertently ripped part of my card to Cathy on my dress shoe. I had to change right at work so I had the card and my change of outfit along with shoes in a tote bag and naturally my heel dug a hole into the envelope. lol Just my luck, huh? Trying to be Superwoman and not miss work fresh from taking so much time off for my own wedding, trying to appear put together in a little dress and a splash of makeup and weaving through traffic to make it on time for the ceremony. I suppose if anything had to go wrong, an ugly envelope isn't the end of the world. The gift inside was still good (shrug). By then it was too late to spaz out and try to buy another envelope.

It's hard shopping for someone who lives out of state who didn't register anywhere. I still wish she registered just so I could have something shipped to her in MT. After all the money is spent I think it'll be sad to not have any good gifts to show for your wedding day or shower. (Cathy didn't have a bridal shower either). Other than a few obligatory ugly picture frames and figurines because people just took stabs in the dark about what your personal style is. It's like a rule, someone always gets you something hideous...perhaps to better make you appreciate the good gifts.

Oh, Honey Honey...

2008-09-16T17:39:00.006-05:00

And we're back....

The honeymoon was beautiful. I'm glad we chose to do a cruise because this time of year is very tricky with hurricanes and we got the benefit of being able to sail around the inclement weather. So unfortunately we didn't get to dock at Puerto Rico, but St. Thomas and St. Maartin were perfectly sunny and a lot of fun.

I highly recommend it if you're tentative about what the weather will bring your way. I would love to go to Europe (and Singapore and Korea...) but the high costs of travel added in with the US Dollar not getting you very far in Euros added up to it being a bad idea. Plus I didn't want to think on my honeymoon. I just wanted to be fed, walk around, get a little sun, relax with my husband and not worry about converting my money or getting lost or not speaking the native language.

I think having never been on a cruise helped too. I'm pretty sure if I had done it before that I may not have found it so novel that they feed you every 10 minutes, or that they announced every single little thing in 5 different languages. I was prepared for eating a lot but was actually quite surprised at how nice the food was.

Not to be a food snob but generally food made on such a large scale (we shared the boat with 4,000 other guests) tends to be bland, generic and generally undesirable but each sit down meal was very nice. Roasted duck, Prime Rib, NY Strip steak, Osso Bucco, Escargot, Salmon...I was surprisingly impressed. Desserts were top notch too, although some felt a bit over gelatinous. Tiramisu shouldn't feel gelatinous...ever. But otherwise it was a great lazy, fattening, time. Even the buffet was quite good. Generally speaking the international foods were a bit...off, but all the foods I'd consider typical American restaurant fare were tasty. And anything that you could classify as crock-pot or pressure cooker type tender foods were good too.

Clearly I ate a lot. I deserve it. I've been eating a lot of cereal, yogurt, cottage cheese and salad for the past few months.

Poor Trevor got sunburned snorkeling. It was so fun though so I almost don't blame him for wanting to stay out in the ocean for hours. (I got out to get dry and reapply sunblock so I didn't get burned at all.) The coral was so beautiful. And although everyone says so the water is crystal clear and warm like a heated pool I guess it's just something you have to experience for yourself to appreciate because I've heard a million times how blue the water is and could hardly grasp it until I saw it for myself. And the fish swimming all around us was so charming. I know that's their habitat and all but I'm so used to the NorthEast and everything being kind of...dead and full of seaweed. I'm not much of a drinker but it's also nice that you can get bar service right on the beach. In particular the beach we went to in St. Maartin had 75cent beers.

But I'm glad to be home. Even though it's nice to have someone clean your stateroom, feed you, and entertain you with random shows and movies it's always good to be home in your own space with your soft non-scratchy towels and to be able to freely check your email. It's 55 cents a minute on the ship to be connected. And although you can use your cell phone mine was roaming the whole time. But it was nice to be totally un-connected. No phone. No internet. No mail. Somehow it's very liberating to not have to listen to how so-and-so didn't like this about the wedding, or how so-and-so was talking about me behind my back and what was being said. Sadly, there is a lot of negativity out there that people feel the need to spread around. Sometimes it's just frustrating to be told about something that I have no control about changing. I'm not an idiot; I don't pretend to live in a world of lollipops and gumdrops but it's really the last thing I want to think about fresh on the heels from getting married and honeymooning.

I suppose that eventually real life will find a way to catch up with you.

My boss was already fast at work getting me a new nameplate. When I came in I was welcomed with clapping and being referred to by my married name. It was really nice to be so warmly received by my team. I had like, 300 emails to look at but other than the usual work related stresses it was nice to be back.

The Little Details

2008-09-03T08:42:00.022-05:00

I've been ridiculously tentative about sharing any of my wedding planning all year long because

A.) I didn't want to hear anyone say "well, I wouldn't do it like that. If you did ___ it'd be better."
Even if you're right I didn't/I don't want to hear it. You can say I'm hardheaded but the fact is that for my wedding day I wanted to do what I wanted to do how I wanted to do it and hearing otherwise from people just filled my head with anxiety. Because I do have a bit of wishy washy-ness inside me and the last thing I want is to be tormented with more options. I have a hard enough time trying to pick out an entree at dinner time and that's a pretty inconsequential decision.
B.) I don't like the idea of someone snagging my ideas before I use them. Once I've used them you can feel free to give me credit for inspiring you, but I'd be ridiculous kinds of upset if someone outright stole an idea from me under my feet.

And it's not even that I think of myself as all that possessive, but I guess once it's yours you become very protective and almost like another person all together when it comes to your wedding. It's like your little pet, or your baby and the tiniest things will find a way to set you off that normally wouldn't. I didn't want to knowingly set myself up to become a bridezilla when the simple act of keeping my mouth shut would prevent it.

Flowers:
I did my own bouquets for all the girls. Daisies for the boys. Small hand bouquets for the mothers. Very easy if you pick a sturdy flower. Daisies were super sturdy and could take a bit of abuse... Roses were a bit more finicky but I think if you ordered yours a day before that they'd be fine; less pruning necessary. Just stock up with floral supplies and get your bridesmaids to give you a hand that morning and you'll be good. I have no clue about any other flowers since I am not a professional florist but I'm sure you could look it up. I'm allergic to pollen so I tend to stay away from flora.

I chose a monochromatic floral arrangement because I actually like it like that. Plus I have an usual disgust for baby's breath. I associate them with old ladies and cobwebs...I don't really know why. It's entirely random and weird. I think too much bouquet just ends up taking away from you as the bride anyway and you want your bouquet to enhance your appearance, not steal your thunder. It's nice to have an over the top floral arrangement on a table but not in your hands. Not when you want people to look at you being stunning in your amazing wedding gown. I half considered no bouquet at all but since I had a very simple dress I thought it'd be too plain. There's a thin line between classically elegant and plain and boring.

Favors:
I chose, somewhat in the final hour, to hand dip pretzels. I know...I'm crazy. But I thought it'd be cute and I've been on a baking sabbatical since the wedding has edged closer so I really did enjoy spending some time in the kitchen dipping each of those little guys. Perhaps I would have selected slightly larger pretzels just so I wouldn't have to do like...400 of them. It was a good idea before I realized that I had to individual dip each one, shake off the excess, let it dry and then keep it contained in a cool place to avoid melting. I printed out the little labels. I cut the ribbons to equal sizes to tie up the little bundles to place inside the tiny cordial glasses. The Chinese take out boxes were a more practical decision because I figure they could actually be used as doggie bags for overfull guests but also a nice nod to some Asian roots. I tried to throw in a few Asian inspired things where I could without seeming too cliche. No giant dragons or incomprehendible Chinese symbols.

Centerpieces:
Giant martini glasses full of...fluff. They're like the filler people use in Easter baskets. I'll say it was a really hard project trying to find that stuff during any time of the year other than Easter because it so rarely has any purpose. We had glo sticks in there to make it all glo but with the lighting the the room shape it was hard to see. In any case people seemed to take a shine to them because they were all scooped up by the end of the night...though I'm sure I still have some bumping around my parents' garage because we had SO many.

Drink Menus:
I just thought it'd be nice. It wasn't a ton of hard work, but we just picked 4 drinks to correspond with Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, and Something Blue, I printed them and got some frames to display them in. I am a notoriously bad drink chooser so having a menu is always helpful to me in order to make up my mind.

String Quartet:
We actually stumbled on this idea after watching "The Wedding Singer." During the movie, just before Adam Sandler got stood up at the altar they had a shot of the strings playing "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey. After I mentioned it Trevor seemed to want to run with it. After a few false starts with flakey sting groups we did eventually end up with one willing to do popular music in lieu of the standard classical stuff. Not like it was perfect, but I think that it was yet another personal touch that made our wedding feel more...organic. I had gone back and forth about it though because the cost was higher than say, a CD and I felt bad spending the money. But being able to walk in to a strings version of "Isn't she Lovely" and having the recessional to "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve were great and they're things that we'll remember many, many years from now.

Reception hall:
I've known of Mill on The River for a long time, but after going to a few other halls further away realized that they were all ridiculously expensive for what they were offering us in services. As a small example, the MoTR included chair covers in the wedding package we picked so we wouldn't have to dish out an additional fee and they included the cake, wine service and a load of appetizers. Sadly, a lot of halls don't include anything other than the meal and you have to dish out more for all the other pieces...which I personally feel are nice. I know you don't need to have all the frills to be married and happy but it's nice to have an extra foody-full event. Blame it on my mother; she always stuffs everyone so full at all our family events that you want to keel over and die. I tend to believe that's normal behavior for any celebratory event in your life. If you aren't stuffed so full your sides hurt then you aren't really celebrating.

I know a lot of modern hip Bridal magazines will say you can cut your budget by doing just h'ors d'oevres and cake but my family would have a riot outside in the street if I attempted doing anything like that. They don't care so much about open bar, but just as a personal preference Trevor & I decided that we wanted one. I think everyone enjoys it a lot more when they don't have to dole out MORE money at a wedding after digging in and buying gifts, buying a new dress, getting their hair done and hotels. It is expensive being a wedding guest (if you're doing it right, that is, ha!).

Invitations:
They were all do-it-yourselves. All the paper and envelopes were purchased at our local craft store and my dear father and I bickered over the style and color inks to use for a few weeks. All in all they came out well even though half of them were pink and half of them were green but I figure I had the girls in green dresses with pink flowers so it all worked out to be consistent. I really like the combination of a light, celery like green with a fresh bright pink.

If you have more than 100 guests then it will probably be best to have a pro do it, but you should still remember that someone's got to put your guests' address on them. So either you do it or you hire a calligrapher. Or if you have a few bridesmaids with good penmanship you get them working on it.

Save the Dates:
We did magnets with our picture on them. You can go through a wedding specific site, but I am very anti-wedding specific vendors. I think they tend to spike up their prices for no other reason than that they know they can and someone will buy them because it's convenient. We used vistaprint.com. (They tend to promote their "free stuff" quite often but of course you pay for shipping and magnets aren't part of their freebie catalog.) It wasn't the greatest save-the-date I've ever seen in my life but it did it's job. I didn't even really want to do save-the-dates because I figure they were just added hassle, postage, address rummaging work to deal with.

I'm sure I'm forgetting tons of stuff, but I think all the personal touches and well thought out ideas really helped to make our wedding very personal and very...us. And although doing things myself was a bit stressful I don't know if I would have changed anything about it because those are the things people notice and those are the things that make it our wedding as opposed to any other couple's wedding. I haven't personally hit that point yet, but I know that a lot of guests at our wedding were guests at half a dozen or more other weddings this summer. And although it's great when it's your wedding I'm sure it's quite grating as a wedding guest to see the same stuff over and over again. The same entrees. The same favors. The same cakes. The same readings during mass...etc.

For the most part I think our guests had fun and it manifested itself in their outpouring of gifts. I'm amazed at the incredible generosity of some people. I'm also surprised at a few stingy folks, but the generosity way outweighed the freeloaders. And it's not even about getting stuff...it's about showing your love. It's about showing how much either I, Trevor or both of us mean to you. It's not as though this was a huge surprise that we got married and you had to rush out at the last minute to grab up whatever was left on the registry. In particular I have a few guests I'd like to hunt down and start trying to secretly shove $100s back into their pockets but suffice it to say that I will return the favor and then some with time. Everything is cyclical. Selfishness creates more selfishness. Generosity creates more generosity. And the weird thing about generosity is that it's exponential.

One single kind act can create a dozen acts of kindness.

Our Wedding

2008-09-02T08:28:00.005-05:00

Now that some of the chaos of the past few days has simmered down I guess the best thing to do is give you my brides-eye view of the events.

Wednesday was flowers. Oh, the flowers. lol In case you didn't know or have forgotten I decided to do the flowers for my own wedding. Bouquets and boutineers..nothing crazy fancy like giant topiary displays shaped like cherubs. Just the basics. I was up to my ears in pink roses and pink daisies but they were so beautiful. I'm really happy how they all came out and they looked really stunning against the green bridesmaids dresses.

On Thursday we closed on our home. We also picked up our marriage license and were generally a little crazy. I think Devin was at least 5 times more excited about the whole house thing than we were. It was also my last full day at work and I was insane running around updating people on what's been going on with my plans. I later finished up working on all my place cards.

Friday was all errands. This happens regardless of how well you plan things. You always end up still running errands anyway. I picked up my wedding gown. I steamed out some wrinkles out of my things. I packed up some of our favors and supplies for Mill on The River. I also received a handful of gift cards. (By the way, a big thank you to Samy, my dad, and co-workers for all my gift cards.) So I wanted to run by the mall and buy a few things for the wedding. I also chatted up my hair person since she was in and she's so nice. I think she took my nervous, overly planned out bride thing very well.

Saturday people started rolling in. My uncles and aunts started coming from all parts so I had to come visit and eat. We also had the rehearsal dinner so we again had to welcome people, eat, drink and chat. It was a really long day of that and when we got home I eventually tried to start working on bouquets but only got 2 deep before Trevor said I should go to bed because it was 1 am. Even the busiest bride has to make time for beauty sleep.

Sunday of course was the big day. I was up first and started working on the rest of the flowers. By now many of them had over-bloomed so I was trying to pick the best of the bunch for the bouquets. People were apparently very worried about the flowers; Trevor's mom made Dino drive out just to give me these little water things for them. My whole original thought was they were going to die anyway but they did look very lovely in all the pictures so I suppose in the end things all worked out.

Kim picked up the rental and dropped by my mom's to get some borrowed jewelry. Mom made her bring food, so naturally my plans to get bagels ended up falling by the wayside in favor of mom-made food. (Always pick home made mom-foods over store made bagels.)

Emily came, and then Trevor picked up Suong. I had them help me with the finishing ribbon touchs on the bouquets. We did a little makeup, I painted my nails and then off we ran to the salon. Since we were there and my stylist brought it up she said we should run over to Macy's to get our makeup done. In fact, each of the different makeup counters did our faces...for free but we had to wait it out for Kim to get her final touches since her makeup lady went to town. It was a very good morning apart from the fact that we were running late and in our haste forgot a few things. lol I did however get out of the mall, into my dress and out the door so I suppose everything worked out okay.

Trevor had originally told me earlier that day to aim for coming around 2pm since the ceremony was scheduled to starte at 2:30. I promptly explained that in spite of my best efforts that I would probably be late anyway...and I was. I was rolling in at like 2:45. But everyone was there other than me, on time and we got rolling shortly thereafter. The weather was perfect. You couldn't have asked for a sunnier, prettier day.

It's kind of blur from there on out. I know everyone says that, but it's true. It felt like time went on fast forward. I walked down the aisle to "Isn't she lovely" by Stevie Wonder on the strings. (We had a string quartet if I had forgotten to mention that earlier.) I choked through my vows, Trevor was cool...no tears of any kind; although later he explained he was thinking about other things in an attempt to dissuade his eyes from watering. Emily's dad Jack did a pretty good job with the vows and I left happy things went so well. We receeded to "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve, also on strings.

Receiving line. Pictures. Reception. The reception went over well too. It seemed the raw bar and passed foods went over very well among all of our guests. All that fuss over entrees was quickly forgotten by the time the entrees actually came because I'm sure everyone was pretty stuffed on shrimp, oysters, sushi, beef wellington, and tempura shrimp...among a long list of things. I said if I were to do it, I'd want to do it with style. The lamb was spectacular, and the duck was also really good. The salmon wasn't bad either, but in comparison the lamb blew all the rest of the entrees out of the water. The cake was unbelievable too. I loved each of the flavors. Unfortunately we accidentally left our cake in the car so when we found it later it had become a melted blob we had to throw away. :( But anyway, apart from my family not seemingly wanting to dance at all I think everyone else had a lot of fun, a lot of laughs, a few tears...so all in all a complete wedding.

And I'm really surprised that all the centerpieces were GONE at the end of the night. I was so nervous I'd have to take home a dozen gigantic novelty martini glasses with me but apparently giant martini glasses fit within the decorating style of a number of my guests because the place was cleared of them all.

The favor seemed to go over well too. I'm happy all my chocolate dipping came to a good end and Trevor could stop being so nervous about the darned things melting. The only thing that didn't seem to work right was that no one signed the guest book. But let's be honest, that's a pretty small detail in the grand scheme of things. The Emery's even brought Chowder for a little bit so he could be there for our wedding day so it really felt like a family affair.

There was a lot of love that day. My pink Vietnamese Ao Dai seemed to go over well, particularly among Trevor's family. They seemed to really dig the Asian inspired touches to our day. I didn't hear too much out of my own family...I think they were probably reeling from all the cocktail shrimp. Overall I think they had fun considering that they felt a bit out of their element.

Bachelorette Party

2008-08-24T19:05:00.003-05:00

Bachelorette party was another really fantastic success. It was this Friday and the boys went out for their one Bachelor party though we went to different towns (not intentionally) and didn't cross paths. However, it worked out beautifully and I think any other prospective brides and grooms to be would be best served having their bachelor and bachelorette parties on the same night.

1.) I did not have to sit at home worrying at Trevor because I was occupied with my own party.

2.) Trevor did not have to sit at home and worry about me.

3.) We got to see everyone, at least for a little bit before each of our prospective parties divided up.

4.) Any couples that were going to our wedding then could also just easily travel together and it made for much smoother sleeping arrangements.

I was a bit concerned because there was a distinct concern about who would be driving home the girls. The boys had rented a party bus so they were all well taken care of. But somewhere out of left field Kim's new boyfriend volunteered to chauffeur us girls in his gigantic SUV thing. He was a good sport and although I have only just met him I suppose that it doesn't hurt to start off with a nice gesture.

I would be idiotic to post any pictures of my bachelorette party on such a public forum.

Suffice it to say that it was a lot of fun but not so out of control that any projectile vomiting or uncontrollable weeping occurred. Some of my less fun nights have included either one or the other. As far as I know everyone got home in one piece. We got to spend an extended afternoon with Trevor's groomsman Tyler since he drove in from out of state so that was a nice bonus since I don't think we've seen him all year and he's never ever been out to where we live so it was nice to show him around.

I think the one thing I really appreciate most out of this whole wedding thing is that people who love you, regardless of how far away and how busy they are, find a way out of the woodwork to show you their love.

I dig it. I dig it more than towels and oven mits and bowls and shower curtains. We should all just hang out anyway but something about the structure of a wedding seems to bend people's arms and bring them out more than just some arbitrary BBQ or Holiday weekend. Even holidays don't bring people together like they used to, particularly for the married folks who have to compromise and split up the holidays.

We're getting married next week...it's really coming up soon. I'd rattle on and on about wedding planning but it's getting so close I don't even care to talk about it. I had a freak out moment last week and the week before but now that it's so close I have hit my calm. I have done as much as I can humanly do and now it's all in fate's hands.

I've always been this way. I know people talk about being nervous but I must just be wired differently because in the final hour I am almost always as calm as a cucumber. I never had any stage freight in all my years as a choir geek, and then my numerous years as a drama club geek. I am there to perform and I'm there to do a job and my job is to look beautiful, be gracious and have fun.

There are much more scary and intimidating things than getting the opportunity to marry your soul mate.

Coffee-Fix

2008-08-13T18:49:00.004-05:00

On a decidedly different note I'm really happy about my new coffee related toys.

My old fashion-y italiano espresso maker is pretty cool. I'm most intrigued by how the heat and pressure forces the water upwards through the grinds whereas every other coffee maker works with the water dripping downward.

My french press is pretty awesome too. I might forgo my "normal" coffee maker once I get the swing of things. The hot water to grind ratio is a bit off still and I'm not entirely sure about the ideal temperature of water to use.

However...thanks to a method I stumbled upon when reading about my favorite (Vietnamese Iced Coffee) I found something of great interest to me. Cold brewed Iced Coffee.

Now I've tried the double brew method of simply using twice as much coffee grind to the typical amount of liquid you'd use for normal hot coffee. The results are almost always disastrously bitter and need a ton of sugar and cream to balance it out. However, I'm glad to personally confirm that cold brewed iced coffee is dreamfully smooth, rich and ridiculously easy. The hardest part is waiting and straining, but thankfully now that I have my own press it's a lot of fun to press out the grinds. I don't really measure anything. I think it was like 2 heaping tablespoons and about 8-10 oz of water. I like my coffee stiff, particularly if it's going to be served with ice.

And when you think about it, it's a lot like the process of making sun tea. Instead of forcing out the flavor with hot water you let it slowly bloom on it's own. It's just like the kind you'd get at your chain coffee purveyor and it won't cost you $2+ a cup.

I'm not a coffee addict. I have one cup or less each day and I think that's plenty. I just happen to like having good coffee and I'm fascinated by the fact that so many people drink coffee all over the world and that they all have different methods of brewing theirs. I'm admittedly biased and I think there's nothing quite like a good glass of frosty Vietnamese Iced Coffee with condensed milk though I do not have any patience whatsoever and dislike waiting 20 minutes for it to slowly drip. But on the bright side, it does help maintain a certain "specialness" when you only have something you like once and so often.

So if you're keeping count, I have 4 distinctly different methods for brewing coffee but all of them are individually sized because Trevor doesn't even drink coffee.

Bridal Shower

2008-08-09T22:30:00.008-05:00

Shower was so fun. Much thanks to our wonderful hostess and her bevy of assistants. :)I'm so tired. I really dislike driving and yet we still got there and home all in one piece so it took a bit of focus. lol My dear friends & loved ones are so great for traveling so very far out of their way to spend time with me. I really appreciate all the love and I'm glad it was a drama-free day with wonderful weather and a bare minimum of traffic. Considering how much it was raining all the days leading up to my shower I was pretty convinced things would be at least sprinkled on, but it ended up being beautiful, comfortable and sunny all day long.

Everyone seemed to have fun and if they didn't...well, they did a good job faking it and if that's the case I appreciate that too. Positivity does wonders for an overtaxed, underfed, sleepy bride.

It was also a great opportunity to talk to Kim for a few hours straight since we carpooled all together from Connecticut and I had the opportunity to catch up with her. I know I see her more than I see of many people but it's always good to recharge your proverbial batteries and feel totally connected and caught up with your friend. Even when you message, email, and call each other every few days I think it's easy to just focus on topical subjects and skim over how you feel because it can be difficult to articulate how you feel, particularly over electronic media.

I'm glad my mom could meet some of my future family in law too. It's felt like my own family and Trevor's family have been totally segregated over the 3 years or so we've been together. Obviously my mom's met his mom but the aunts and uncles really haven't been given the opportunity to converge. I think everyone has a complicated multi-dimensional relationship with their parents but above all I think my mother is an amazing, gorgeous, and ridiculously generous individual. I dream of being as selfless as she is. I always admire people who think of others well before they think about themselves, their own comfort, convenience and interests.

I won't drone on and on about the gifts I got because it's kind of a boring read. It also makes me feel materialistic and petty to discuss what I have...so I won't. But many thanks to all the gift givers for being so generous and thinking about Trevor & I.

Less than a month to go!

2008-08-02T21:45:00.004-05:00

So our meeting with wedding coordinator Laura was okay. Not great though which is disappointing because up until now our experience with her and the site has been really top notch.

We had to wait 45 minutes before she got to us because she was running late and still working with another couple.

Not like I'm not empathetic since I'm sure she couldn't control the length of their meeting but Trevor in particular took offense to her not apologizing for making us sit and wait for sooooo long.

In other slightly disappointing news they didn't have the color napkins I wanted and I wasn't about to dole out more money when I was already feeling displeased to get special ordered ones. You can't shake money out of an upset Kelly; that's not how it works. The food we wanted was no big deal, but the cake flavors apparently were because I wanted something more Asian for one of our layers. I think it would have been much better had things started off on the right foot but starting off unhappy doesn't typically bode well for anything.

I am very sensitive to customer service because that's what I do. I don't talk about work because I like to build a giant brick wall between work and play but basically I'm in a service industry. The general rule is that if you don't feel good about spending your money here, chances are that you'll just turn around and spend your money somewhere else. That's how businesses are and that's how weddings are too. I don't really buy into the whole "it's the most important day of your life" marketing nonsense but if I'm going to spend money I'd hope to get what I want.

On the bright side I do not have to buy/make table numbers and I do not have to supply my own cake stand because they have some.

Mom got a dress...finally. It's hard to get a decent mom-dress I guess because you don't want to be too revealing, but you don't want to look like a grandma with something way too conservative, and since my mom's short it can be a bit difficult to get something that looks right. I'm happy for her; she looked very pretty in her floor length Calvin Klein evening gown with draping detail on the back. It's a tad formal for an afternoon garden wedding, but she's only got one daughter so I figure if she's happy I'm happy for her. Who the heck cares what anyone wears as long as they aren't more formal than I am. And really, the only way to do that is to prance into the wedding with a hoop skirt.

I also worked on unpacking my favors and centerpiece-ware. Ugh...what a drag. Thankfully my mom and dad helped unpack it and dissemble all the packing material it came in. Four full garbage bags later I now have things sort of where they should be. Now I just have to clean them, fill them, tie them up with their little bows and pack them up in boxes for the venue. Not like that'll be easy either but it's one step in the right direction.

On a side note, I would highly recommend non-breakable favors. lol It's a ton easier on you to not have to deal with so much packing material. I just didn't want to be one of those Jordan Almond tied in tulle brides. I have a little streak in me that tends to want the unconventional but occasionally it creates more work for me than originally anticipated. I just have to keep telling myself that anything worth doing requires a bit of elbow grease and patience.

I'm less overwhelmed but I'm still quite a busy bee. There's still a lot to do and not a ton of time to dilly dally. I have to work on my seating arrangements now. For the most part I know who I want to be nearby us and who I'd prefer to be slightly farther away from me but everything has to add up and then I have a few ghetto tables that I can't fit 10 people at because of the shape of the room doesn't allow for people to be comfortably seated all the way around. lol It'll be fine. Knowing my family they'll just pick up their place cards and start swapping places at tables anyway in spite of my efforts to arrange them.

My shower is next week (eep!) so that'll be...interesting. I'm looking forward to some hilarious game playing and seeing my dear friends and family in one place. I also look forward to the food. I've been falling back on bad habits when I'm stressed and I haven't been eating as well as I should be. I got my first physical boxed up wedding gift via mail. :) I'm surprised it came so early but I'm glad that it came via mail in lieu of my dragging it home after the reception. I hope all my big gifts come via mail; it'll be a huge relief to not have to try and figure out how to stuff giant boxes in my compact car.

Kim's working on the bachelorette. I look forward to seeing what she has in store for us but have told her I don't want anything too too inappropriate. I like having fun but I do feel a bit uncomfortable about the prospect of greased up half naked strangers. I think it's funny and cheesy more than anything else. But I think we might end up in Springfield hitting up the regular haunts since everything is within a good walking distance whereas in Hartford it's kind of a hike for a few bars. Plus Kim's pals are friends with a bartender so it's a very affordable night. I honestly don't care too much as long as I get a good excuse to dress up and hang out with my girls. I don't really want to make anyone feel like they have to throw the party of the century on my behalf. We'll dress up, I'll be force fed some drinks, I'll get silly and overly talkative, perhaps ride a mechanical bull, we'll dance and we'll go home only ever so slightly worse for the wear. And then a few days later ridiculous pictures will be splashed all over myspace.

Hair, beautiful hair

2008-07-30T21:09:00.005-05:00

I don't consider myself to be much of a hair person. I have some. That's pretty much the extent of my overall excitement regarding hair. I'm not the kind of person who has a standing appointment at her local salon. I don't color my hair. I certainly don't blow dry or flat iron it unless it's a special occasion. I'm generally very low maintenance and that's fine by me because I'm not the kind of person who wakes up an hour early just to pretty up for work.

Now, this lack of hair related appreciation is coming back to get me because I do not have a regular stylist to take me in and coddle my needs on my wedding day. I'm getting married on what is typically considered a salon worker's day of rest and I've been having some issues finding a place that's open. I'm not asking for really meticulously molded, curled, braided hair; it's not my style to be that overly made up anyhow. That's not the kind of tone I want to set for my life let alone my wedding day.

Tracy works at a salon in Windsor called Hairdresser on Fire so she asked if they'd open on a Sunday and the owner said they would do it but they were asking for $100 a head. Which I understand from a financial perspective because why would you give up a perfectly good holiday weekend's Sunday without a few Mr. Jacksons finding their way into your pocket? I certainly wouldn't. You couldn't drag me out to work on a holiday weekend without a lot of kicking and screaming. But to ask each of my girls to pony up that much money (plus tip) is pretty ridiculous. Like, I know it's for a special occasion but if I were a bridesmaid I'd look at the bride like she was crazy if she expected me to pay that much for a slicked back bun. I don't mind spending that for my wedding day but the fact they didn't even consider giving a price break for bridesmaids is weird. And the fact I know the typical price of an updo any other day is $65 makes me feel a bit taken advantage of just because it's for a wedding.

So I set up a trial appointment but decided there had to be another option. I drove over to the local mall and set up an appointment with one of the salons in there since they're open all weekend long. And after chatting up a really nice receptionist at Trade Secret and getting a much (much!) less ridiculous price I decided that if I liked the trial that we could set up the "for real" appointment for my wedding and then cancel the other thing. I do admit to having a bit of a bias against chain hair salons but the fact is that if they hire a good stylist it doesn't matter what name is splashed across the doors. And a trial hair do is very low risk because they're just styling your hair; they aren't coloring, cutting or otherwise manipulating your hair in a permanent way.

So turns out that I loved the stylist just as much as I enjoyed the receptionist. They were so warm and kind; something that I just didn't get from the owner of the other salon who seemed very rigid and almost annoyed at me for asking about pricing when she obviously was doing me a favor by just opening the shop. So I'll do them all a favor and let them sleep in that Sunday. I almost felt like throwing in the towel and doing my own hair after talking to the owner who I didn't think was very kind. If you're a business owner and you're trying to sell a product you'd think that you'd at least try kind of hard to at least feign some kindness. Kaitlyn the stylist seemed nice but the owner was...I don't even know what her deal was.

I think it all worked out well though. It's hard to really explain but once you meet people you like you feel so much better about letting them be a part of your big day. It spreads a much more positive energy across the event.

In the words of Weird Al, "Just Eat It"

2008-07-26T12:58:00.007-05:00

I feel better now that some time has passed. I have an unusually low tolerance for picky eating. I'm not irrational; I know people simply don't like certain foods and that's their preference but I think it's rude to question someone's choices when you know they must have thought long (almost a year) and hard over which entrees to select. I wouldn't ever come to your house after you invited me to dinner only to whine and moan how I don't eat goat. (Though I totally would; how exciting would that be to try?!)

The fact is that Trevor and I knew that there would be some backlash but hoped that people would have some tact and keep it to themselves instead of acting like bratty children. I think it's different if you actually tried it first and then formed an opinion about it but it's prejudiced to just preemptively complain about something just because you think it's weird. Usually I'm very sensitive to people's likes and dislikes but when you're catering to a crowd of 100+ you can't cater to the lowest common denominator because you'll end up eating boiled chicken and pasta with butter. So I can't care about how you think eating lamb is yicky. You can drive over to McDonald's after the reception if you want; I certainly won't stop you.

We've gotten more wedding things done. I've completed some gift assembly. Trevor and I have reserved a block of hotels for out of towners looking for a place to lay their weary heads. (Trevor will load the info to our wedding site once we get our reservation code.) We booked our honeymoon. I've purchased and received a few more wedding related...pieces and I'm really happy and excited about them. I also went for my 2nd dress fitting and it's looking more and more like a wedding gown and less like an oversized sack. lol I have a 3rd fitting in about 2 weeks and my cousin also had a fitting because her dress was too roomy.

And most importantly we have started the process of buying our first home.

So if my anxiety level seems particularly high, my moodiness seems a bit unwarranted and that I'm significantly more sensitive than ever before you will understand that I'm being hit on all sides mentally, emotionally, financially, physically....I'm just beat down and I just can't wait for everything to be done, formalized and just get to enjoy it.

To say that right now is a stressful, bad-dream-causing, restless-thought-making time in my life would be a really gigantic understatement. It's not terribly pleasant. I'm elated to be married and I'm really excited about eventually not living in an apartment but the path to get there is not fun. I don't really care to romanticize the situation because it very unromantic. I expect to be slightly on edge and very sensitive and very uncompromising for the next month. Now I know where all those bridezillas on tv were coming from.

If you can buy a home before you get married I would totally suggest doing so. It's a huge financial endeavor but if you can afford it it's well worth pacing yourself.

In other wedding related news I got some preemptive wedding checks that I am super excited about and really boosted up my bad mood and grumpy disposition. I know money doesn't bring happiness but it certainly does help. And it couldn't come at a better time because doing all this is quickly draining all of our assets. Buying a home includes a ton of other costs like home inspections and closing costs and attorney fees. Be prepared with some serious dough. I have no idea how people manage to ever buy things with 0% down; I can only imagine how much that screws with their bottom line. Plus I have to pay for a wedding. And once we move in, obviously we'll want to fix the place up and we'll probably want furniture, appliances and drapes.

I haven't felt this financially drained since I was 17. So you'll have to excuse the fact I don't care if you don't like eating lamb. In the grand scheme of all the stress I've got that's the least of my problems and I couldn't change the menu now anyway. All the invitations are out and all but 12 replies are back. There's no looking back now.

I have completed a lot but I'm still lacking a few gifts, I don't have a hairdresser (Tracy offered hers but Kim is hesitant about spending money and I think that I'll just bite the bullet because it's simply too close to worry about a few bucks and the maids who don't want their hair can do it themselves), none of the boys have suits yet, my shower is in two weeks and my wedding in slightly more than a month. I have a meeting with our wedding coordinator Monday so I think that'll make me feel tons better. I have a few questions still and I think she'll really calm the anxiety I'm holding onto. I really like them; I feel like they're really professional and they know what they're doing. To a nervous Nelly like myself it really makes a huge difference to know that I'm in good hands.

ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

2008-07-24T21:35:00.004-05:00

Even though I've already addressed it earlier I have no patience whatsoever for anyone who wants to be negative about the entree selection.

And yes apparently people want to make me feel bad and make my stress level that much worse because they're not empathetic in the slightest bit to the fact that it's hard to pull this kind of event together.

If you're not going to be constructive I don't really want to hear about why you don't like the things I've worked so hard on for the better part of a year. Do you want me to berate the things that matter to you too?

In any case, I took the day off from work today. And tomorrow. I needed a break because I felt my head was going to explode. Apparently I had at least a little foresight to give myself a break because I've been emotionally, physically and financially stretched thin. As a result I'm overly sensitive.

I'm so not in the mood to talk about anything because I'm too miffed.

Wedding and Registration, ma'am

2008-07-19T21:18:00.006-05:00

Jenny's wedding was today. I bought her present Thursday so you can imagine how "out of the blue" it felt to me even though I knew it was coming.

I must be acting like a chicken with her head cut off or something.

I wanted to get 'em something "good" but even after weeks and weeks and weeks of thinking about it I still ran into a brick wall so I settled for simply buying off registry. After all, that's the reason why it's there; to make people's lives easier when you just don't know what they'd like. If they shot their registry gun at it one can only hope they'd like it.

Waking up early was the worst part of it. Not that we got stuck in traffic. Not even that it was all that bad outside...just that it was way too early for any of our liking. We had to be down in the 203 in time to pick up Emily and still get to the 10am wedding at a church I've never been to and when you're used to waking up at around 10am on a normal Saturday waking up at 7am is quite horrible. I intend to sleep to my little heart's content this evening that's for sure.

In any case the wedding itself was a beautiful church ceremony. Long and Catholic and really long and really Catholic but beautiful. Not terribly romantic after being preached at for like an hour about...a checkbook of some kind, but aesthetically very lovely. The church was huge. Gigantic organ in the back jutting out of the wall. Jenny looked so beautiful...and I know people say that about all brides but really she did a particularly fantastic job picking a flattering dress for her coloring, height, weight and body shape. I can't imagine it's easy to find a suitable dress when you're hardly 5" tall and everything you try on doesn't fit right away.

The ceremony, apart from being a slightly confusing drive away from the church was pretty nice too. They had it at The Waterview which Trevor lovingly referred to as a Wedding Factory. It was very nice; right on the water (a lake to be exact) with beautiful marble floors, crystal chandeliers...very swanky. It was very, very nice and I can totally see why it's such a popular wedding spot but personally it felt a bit sterile and impersonal like a really really big hotel lobby.

The music was far too loud; I couldn't talk to Emily very easily. Emily also being very soft spoken didn't come in handy. The DJ was entirely unclear as a result of old and semi-cruddy speakers. I entirely missed the cake cutting because I never heard him announce it and I was outside on the balcony. lol Trevor was particularly upset that he kept throwing a mic (turned on) casually in the air to see it flip and catching it so it made a mild thud each toss.

I suppose if you see one set of people cut a cake you've seen every couple cut a cake. I'll have different feelings about this when it's my own wedding but pretty much every cake cutting is similar in that there is a whole cake and then a piece is taken out of it with some kind of cutting apparatus and the couple playfully feed one another a bite. Everyone gets a chuckle and then they wheel the cake away to be sliced up. Other than that it was fantastic to see Emily because I love her. We hardly got 8 minutes with Jenny before she got pushed in another direction since it was quite a packed reception but perhaps after her honeymoon is done we'll get the opportunity to catch up for real. I'm sure there's been tons going on with her that I haven't heard a peep about.

She did mention she'd go to the shower and she'd carpool with Emily since she is a car-less individual but one that still wants to attend. Since I only invited like 4 friends to the shower I'm happy that all of them are going to be attending. I guess for what I lack in quantities of friends I at least make up in having kind hearted friends who want to come and spend a little time driving really out of their way to give me a present.

Speaking of presents, Kim has been delegated to arrange Cathy's bridal shower. I'm happy it's a bridal shower in lieu of a Jack & Jill. J&Js always reek of desperation to shake money out of your friends. At least a bridal shower is considered a tasteful event. However considering that Cathy lives in MT and she'd have to ship any and all gifts she received back to her home I can see where a J&J might be more reasonable since money is ever so easier to transport than blenders and dishes. I can see both sides of the coin but it seems the final decision was to shower. It might be helpful if Cathy registered somewhere first though.

In my adventures registering I can tell you that all registries are not created equal. Of course all your major stores have registries. (Bloomingdales, Neiman Marcus, Tiffany's, Macys, JCPenney, Sears, Kohls, Sharper Image, Pottery Barn, Crate & Barrel, Sur la Table, Target, Walmart...etc.) So it's good to start with a major retailer because then a larger number of your guests will have access to them.

For more modern couples the online registry is a new option. Of course all major department stores also have shopping online and online registries but you can go 100% e-registry and do one at Amazon.com, Cooks.com...etc.

Here are some of the ones I am familiar with:
-Sears. I guess you can actually register for big stuff here like refrigerators, ovens, dishwashers, grills...unlike most other registries that do not include big ticket items.

-Macy's. They have a reward system where if you have a credit card with them they'll give you 5% reward as a giftcard after the wedding is complete. There is a long laundry list of other details but the gist is that you get not only a beautiful registry present but also a giftcard to spend on other things. Cons: you can't register for non-home goods. So no Chanel purse, no Escada perfume, no leather sectional :( but since it's Macy's your chance of running into a one day sale are pretty high. It seems every other weekend they're having one. Oh, and you get a little tote bag as a gift for registering.

-LNT. I love them but ever since they registered for bankruptcy decided to delete my registry with them just to be on the safe side. They do however let you have a 20% registry completion discount. So for anything you didn't get gifted you can buy it...20% off regardless of the fancy brand name (which usually isn't applicable for coupons).

-Bed Bath & Beyond. Much like LNT but has yet to file for bankruptcy. They accept competitor coupons and have a very flexible no questions asked return system. They rarely have sales, but are known for being very coupon generous. I get mailings from them all the time with $5 off coupons. You can shoot your gun at everything and anything in the store; no limitations.

-Lowes & Home Depot. Weird, huh? I just thought that was cool. Particularly for those folks who already have a home together and don't really need plates and cups but do want a nicer kitchen to put the ones they have in to.

-JCPenney. I didn't go there but I guess they have a partnership with David's Bridal and those leeches send me emails constantly. They give you a bridal planner when you register and I think a 8x10 engagement portrait. I think that's very nice though if you're the kind of people who enjoy that. We didn't bother with engagement portraits since we don't care to spend the money on it. I figure there'll be 100's of pictures at the wedding to remind of how we looked anyhow.

-REI. For the outdoor enthusiast.

-Traveler's Joy. For the vacation enthusiast. Be aware they do tack on a "processing fee" so you don't get 100% of the value that someone sends to you.

-And finally Myregistry.com for the couple who can't focus on one registry and instead want everything from everywhere.

Those are my two cents on the most interesting registries. I know there are more exotic ones but I think these cover the main bases people want to be covered. The major things you should ask are A.) Are there limitations on what I can register for or is the whole store up for grabs? B.) What is the return policy on gifts you changed your mind on or inexplicably got duplicates of? C.) Are there any rewards or incentives to registering with that store?

I've heard people have issues with Target registries because they limit how much you can return in a particular period of time and their registry is slow in updating itself to show purchased items so duplicate purchases happen more than they should.

The Jury is out

2008-07-10T20:58:00.014-05:00

So Jury duty was a very long day. They didn't pick me so luckily I had some time on my hands to get some random grocery shopping done. The major Asian grocery store I'm familiar with is unfortunately a bit of a hike from my home so I rarely go but since I was already in Hartford it was very close. Where else can you get a gallon sized jug of my favorite Chinese Soy Sauce and and aisles of difficult to read food labels?

In any case we looked at 3 houses this week. The ones in Manchester were...ugh...dumps. The Windsor house though was lovely...and of course the most expensive. But on the bright side it's in a very cute area and while there's not a lot of land the house is very large and seemingly well kept up. We've seen a lot of really disgusting houses. I can't begin to express how unkempt people allow their houses to become.

So if all goes according to plan we'll have a house by the time the wedding rolls around.

And yes I am aware that sounds like utter lunacy. Buying a home and paying for a wedding doesn't come cheap but it's a buyer's market if you happen to run into the right home and a motivated buyer. Add in the fact that we don't have anything to sell right now and we're in a good position to find something at a decent price that we could slip in to right away.

Trevor will go into great length about real estate if you want to hear. I've heard his plan at least 3 dozen times now so I hope no one minds if I pass on this one, I'm not much of a technical mind anyhow. I'm not an emotionally driven buyer either...I'm really more of a "this is our first house, it's not going to be perfect, it'll never be exactly what we picture for ourselves but we have the rest of our lives to find that" person.

Not to beat a dead horse but the rise in energy prices isn't exactly in anyone's favor either. It costs a lot to heat a home during the winter and at this rate it will cost twice as much as it did last year to heat a home. Not to be all doom and gloom, but it's the truth and it does ultimately affect what we can forecast toward spending. I'm sure homeowners are pained at knowing what's in store for them. Having never actually paid for my own heat (our apartment includes it in the rent) I don't particularly look forward to it.

In any case, life is rolling along. There's not a lot that's wildly exciting. I do need to buy more things for the wedding but I'd like to know how many guests I have first so I don't overbuy. Generally speaking buying a little too much doesn't hurt you; in fact you get a great bulk discount but in terms of wedding planning what the heck does anyone do with +5lbs of Jordan almonds? So I've tried not to fall into the trap of buying things I don't actually like just because they're cheap and plentiful because I'll regret it. That or I'll end up trying to pawn off my wedding stuff on upcoming brides who are getting married after me.

Dad bought his suit. Trevor still has to get hopping on that for himself and his groomsmen. I would be more nervous but I trust that he'll get it done. He might not do it the same way I would but he'll always get what he's supposed to do done.

I have a gameplan for favors. I had a prior plan that involved ordering something online but decided that I was okay with another do-it-yourself project if it meant spending less and having more creative control. Anticipate nothing grand nor amazing as a result. lol But I'm very proud of the things I've crafted with my little industrious hands.

Those invitations didn't stamp and wax seal themselves after all.

I wish I had a picture of them all lined up because I was so happy after I finally got the hang of it. The calligraphy even came out pretty well. Not perfect mind you, but anything personally done will have a few blips along the way. I've got a good number of replies now but I'm sorry to say that I'm missing like half of the RSVPs for my own family even though those were the first ones out. It just figures; we're a perpetually late people. But I'm glad I went through it because they were beautiful and just the way I wanted them. I'm not so positive that if I purchased pre-fabs and sealed with (much easier and readily obtainable) stickers that I would have been as happy with the result. I'm sure I would have been generally more happy just because I'd have had experienced a good deal less misery but the end product makes you forget about the path it took to get you there.

I don't sugar coat things if I honestly dislike them and I really hated doing invitations toward the end. Not so much the act of doing them but the fact that I never had all the addresses I needed so I had to start and stop and once I stopped I lost my mojo. I'm sorry to those of you with the last wave of invitations because I lost my mind and I think I may have forgotten some stamps on the reply cards. On the bright side I'm now out of invitation land and I (most likely) will not bite your head off.

I cannot make promises though...particularly if you're one of my late RSVPers. (Shakes fist!)

We buy the components of our centerpieces and the reception workers put 'em together and on the tables. I have to assemble the favors. I have already assembled the invitations. And I intend to assemble the bouquets because flowers are not something I place a great deal of importance on. I don't care enough about them to drop $2,000 on them but I do care enough that they be live flowers because I think silk ones tend to look fake unless you really go all out and get really nice ones. But if you're going all out on silk flowers you might as well just buy real flowers and do it right.

Jenny's getting married the 19th! I don't look forward to maneuvering my way through the 203 but I think it'll be a nice day and I get to see her and Emily. I love spending time with them even though I'm guilty of not doing it much more than twice a year. (I'm such a bad friend.) But I look forward to seeing to fruition the various months of Jenny's and her mom's planning. I am pretty sure there'll be a mass since it's a church wedding. I haven't been to many a church wedding so I never really know what to expect other than overall awkwardness about feeling like a sinner in the house of God. Like at any second I'll be smited or at least given the stink eye by a member of the clergy.