How does one pick up seamlessly after many months away? I've been thinking about it for a long time and I've decided that it would be silly to try and relive every major event that's occurred in the past few months because with a newborn everything is a major event. This post would be 4 feet long and I'd hardly scratch the surface of what actually happened. So what do I do? Ignore the fact that a small human has joined our family? That seems like an impossibility given that I spend all day up to my eyeballs in baby and as a result my mind goes right to baby-mode. I can't stop talking about the baby because he's right THERE, demanding all my attention and energy and love.
To all who are concerned, he's healthy and feisty and my mother thinks he's a genius in comparison to me at his same age. I'll try not to be offended by the fact that means by comparison I was an idiot baby and just focus on the fact that the kid's rocking through his milestones. His birth was...normal-er than the births experienced by some of my peers. No c-section, no inducement, no breech baby...and at least it was fast. I was admitted in the morning and by the afternoon I had a baby in my arms. None of that 72 hours of labor nonsense for me (thankfully). I had wished it to be a more natural birth without an epidural and everyone in the room insisted I could have but there were unfortunate complications that were out of my control, so I caved in and had the epidural and I'm glad I did. You have to do what you feel is necessary to get that baby out and when I thought about it I wasn't doing myself any favors by being exhausted and uncomfortable and miserable during what I anticipated to be one of my most important life experience to-date. You don't get a medal at the end because you sacrificed more than the lady in the room next door anyway.
I feel different, I suppose more like an adult and I don't want to tolerate nonsense from anyone anymore. Life is simply too short to fraternize with people who don't really care. And the fact is that I want to have strong people in my son's life. People whom he can count on and who won't flake out on him. I admit I am not perfect by a long shot, but he's my world and I want to give him the absolute best I can. And if I'm willing to give that to him, why am I willing to accept any less for myself?