Tidings of Comfort and Joy

Merry Christmas!

I'm so lame for writing on Christmas, huh? But I have sufficiently spent time with my family, I'm full of prime rib, and I have consumed an unusually large quantity of cookies. Every year I say I should make less, but every year I still insist on making at least 3 full batches, and thus 100 dozen cookies are created.

Um, because talking about presents is super lame and superficial of me I'll mention my friend Cathy had a baby boy recently. That sounds way more important than my desire for a spiffy apron. I know because she picture texted me. I haven't actually talked to her since her wedding. We're really quite awful friends, but babies tend to always bring forward a feeling of goodwill despite general lack of good communication otherwise. She had a boy and his name is Alex. For the sake of general personal security I'll refrain from yelling his full name from the internets.

Since I've already wandered down this topic I may as well continue this entry by congratulating Susan & Sean on their impending bundle of baby girl joy. Did I mention they were expecting? Probably not. Not that I don't think it's momentous, I just happen to think that it was so completely, ridiculously obvious that it didn't shock me when they announced it. Well, of course they're pregnant. They really wanted it and they (in my humble opinion) deserve it.

And yes, I immediately thought they would be having a girl. It was expressed they wanted a boy. Kim expressed desire for a girl and received a boy. My dad expressed desire for a boy and got me. I'm not saying I believe in bad luck or whatever. It's not quite that cut and dry as saying that god hates you and wants to spit on your dreams. I just think that the saying is true: "you can't always get what you want...you get what you need."

As a good example, I think my dad was destined to always have a daughter. The more I learn about my dad-the person, the more I realize he was a bit of a lethario. I'm not making a character judgment, I'm just saying that with the data I've been provided over my course of being alive that I know he was not an angel and he was not always entirely truthful to the women in his life. And I think that's probably got a lot to do with why he was so incredibly adamantly overprotective of me. He knew what could happen because well...he was a 20 year old man once and he probably did it. He probably tried it. And now as a father he carries on that anxiety and stress because he's aware it exists out there for his baby girl to battle against. Despite all his desire for a boy to carry on the family name and all of that usual macho stuff, my dad needed to have a girl to put his life into perspective.

Of course this puts me in the precarious position of having to analyze my husband's past behavior. haha. But joking aside, I think that god gives you only as much as you can handle. Even if you don't think you can handle a baby boy jumping off the roof, getting numerous stitches, setting fires in the backyard...hey, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. If you're scared of raising a defiant, emotional, loud, adolescent girl who manipulates your feelings and constantly gives you cold sweats about what she's up to when she says she's out with friends? Well, believe it or not you can probably handle it. If you get both? Well, you're a brave soul.

And if you sponanteously become pregnant without ever knowing the touch of a man and bring forth into the world Jesus Christ...ugh, yeah. You win. Best birth story ever.

Merry Christmas!

Fostering a Taste for the Decadent

I have officially created a cookie snob.

I finally made those cookies from the Toll House dough from the refrigerator section of and my husband doesn't like them. (It's snowing, nice warm cookies are a fun treat.) And he doesn't like them. It just figures! I've now cultivated in him a taste for real butter and real vanilla extract and and all the warm deliciousness that it implies. (This is clearly why he blames me for making him fat.)

I don't really like them either but I'm just saying...people are not supposed to know the difference, right? But he totally knows!

On a side note I think I've given up on Holiday Shopping. Am I really done? Not so much. But I'm over it. lol I like the holidays, and I like lame holiday music, and I even like Egg Nog but it's not really the same. I miss Amanda and cooking strange random recipes with her. I miss Kim not being literally attached to the baby all the time and buying me gifts that have absolutely nothing to do with any of my likes or interests whatsoever. I miss having holidays up at the Farm. It just feels a lot different this year and I know I'm an adult and change is a natural progression but it's just a lot all at once and I'm just a tiny bit sad to say goodbye to it all.

I guess it just means we have to actively make new traditions and new rituals and new things to look forward to.

What Would Jesus Do?

You're probably wondering, "hey, did you get that house yet?"

The short answer is no. The long answer is...really really long. So I'll keep it short and sweet and just say "it's in the works." Lots of shady and weird stuff has been hitting us from left and right....but "it's in the works." My sanity and patience has been seriously tested but what other choice do I have but to trudge on through it?

I do hope that the Santa Claus I don't believe in, realizes how good we've been and gives us a house for Christmas. I just think it's fair. And I think Jesus would agree. And if he doesn't I'm totally going to ask the Easter Bunny.

Prejudiced against the Pillsbury Dough Boy

Here's a random but funny neurotic tidbit about me.

I don't typically buy pre-made cookie dough, but it was on sale a few weeks ago PLUS (because I'm an old lady) I had a coupon, so it was like $1 for a package I actually bought it. I wouldn't ever buy it for full price but for some reason when something is $1 I fall right off my high horse and I buy it. My morals can calm the heck down when something is only $1.

Stranger, yet? I have not yet baked it. It's just sitting in the freezer like some lonely ugly girl sitting on the sidelines of a high school dance.

You'd think "hey it's Christmas time, people love cookies" but I would never pawn off pre-packaged cookie dough as CHRISTMAS cookies. That's where I draw the line. Holiday food must be made from scratch or you may as well just not eat it at all. Some random Tuesday, sure. Break out the Toll House Brand package full of hydrogenated fat and preservatives, who cares? Clearly I feel bad about myself anyway if I'm in the mood for mid-week machine made cookies.

I'm strange about my food and my food prep. I have no idea where I got this neurosis because no one in my immediate family could care less if a cake came from the box as long as it tastes good. So even though I have perfectly good pre-made cookie dough in my freezer anyway I'm still going to be dragging out the butter, sugar, flour, vanilla extract, baking soda, salt, eggs...etc. and making "real" dough for "real" cookies for "real" Christmas.

Intellectually...that's so dumb. Why am I wasting perfectly good time making cookies when I have perfectly good ones sitting around begging to be consumed? I'm smart enough to realize I'm behaving irrationally, but it doesn't stop me from saying "duh, I'm not feeding my family garbage."

And Christmas isn't even that special to me. I'm not even Christian. I never even believed in Santa Claus. I'm just making the holidays into some weird elitist thing. Like anyone needs any more butter covered calories during the holidays.

And now that shared my crazy with you I've likely made you feel guilty about not making everything from scratch for the holidays (sorry 'bout that)...

Happy Holidays! Merry Kwanza. Happy Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Festivous for the rest of us...

Secret Rewards

I'm on day 2 of my 4 day long weekend. I have PTO to burn up so why not? I have Xmas shopping to do anyway and my mind was a bubbling cauldron of stress, anxiety and general discomfort. I needed a break, if only to wander around Macy's for a bit.

But you know what? It's been really great so far. Like, much better than I thought a break from work would be. Sure I did a heck of a lot of laundry, but I was so psyched about some new bedding I purchased on Cyber Monday (it's not as dirty as it's name implies). I know...I've become far too domesticated, but SHEETS! I love good bedding. These were 400tc King sized Cotton Sateen sheets. Mmmmm. I like our 450's better but for $26 inclusive of shipping to get King sized sheets?! I'm not going to complain. They're fabulous. I'm sure as you go up and up and up it gets better but having too-good of taste only proves to bite you in the butt because you'll never want to sleep in common sheets ever again and unfortunately you have to. Like when you go to hotels and sleep over other people's homes.

I'm sure people with Temperpedic beds have serious issues sleeping anywhere other than at home.

So other than my unusual love of these sheets my Friday was great. I hung out with my husband for a bit, we had lunch together, I bought 2 more plates to expand my set and then I wandered my way to Victoria's Secret. I would usually not mention a specific store by name, but this DESERVES a mention because I received in November a "Secret Reward" card from them. This is normal. I get a number of promo things and I remember getting the same thing last year. The card has no value until December 1st. Then it can have a $10, $50, $100,...etc. value depending on the luck of the draw. As you can imagine, probably 90% of all the cards they send have just a $10 value. I know the one I redeemed last year was for $10, but by some chance when I went and asked the cashier to tell me the value before I bought anything (to prepare myself to spend within that range of value) she asked me to guess what my card value was. "Ten bucks?" "No, guess again." "Twenty bucks?" "Nope."...."A hundred bucks?" "Yup."

I got $100 for doing absolutely nothing other than being a regular customer. Needless to say, I was pretty psyched even though you can hardly buy 2 items for $100. That's not the point, the point is that I won something cool. I really needed that kick of positivity. I've been a seriously grumpy mean spirited gal lately.

The only thing that would be better is if it were a certificate I could redeem for more plates. My current obsession with homegoods is sort of sad, but I guess it's my way of expressing my excitement about the possibility of a much bigger home. The cynic in me doesn't like counting on it, but I can't help but start daydreaming about all the cool stuff I can buy to make it a really stylish home.

I probably shouldn't worry about it until after Xmas because I haven't been too successful thus far. My list of gifts still left to buy is still kinda long and gifts cost money. Money that probably shouldn't be spent on me. But at this rate I'll never find what I'm looking for anyway. I've been aimlessly searching for a tempered glass pitcher to brew tea in. Apparently all the glass pitchers ever made in life are not tempered and therefore if I put hot boiling water in it, then try to throw in ice (thus iced tea) it'll crack and break. I haven't been able to find a tempered glass one. I have a plastic one but I'm slowly becoming brainwashed to believe plastics are evil and the chemicals will slowly kill me.

Anyway, becoming a hippie aside I think things are moving along pretty well. I'm a little nervous still but I suppose I'll continue to be until my signature is on that paper and our attorney congratulates us on our new home. I might be terribly unbearable to be around (unless you really like talking about glassware and plates) until then. You have been forewarned.

It's a work on progress

Holidays? Good. I don't have much to say about it because it was nice. Non-dramatic. No burned turkey.

Turkey day with my husband's family. I love them, they're so cute. Day after with my family. Lots of deboned turkey stuffed with duck was consumed. I guess my mom was moved to make one after hearing about Devin's Turduckhen.

I worked Friday because I was not fast enough on the draw to ask for it off and my coworkers were. Not like anyone called or emailed or anything. So it was a pretty good day to catch up and work on stuff I'd been having difficulty with. I did go to HRD's Hair Cut-a-thon because they had a deal where they were donating food to the Windsor Food Bank. If you brought in 6 items you could get a wash, cut and blow dry for $10. Of course I brought in way more than 6 items, but that's mostly in part to my love for food drives. I know there are people worse off than me and my husband is annoyingly negative and will stand on his high horse and say that charities don't give 100% of your donation to the needy. Well, I doubt that charities will take 1/10th of a can of peas before giving it to a needy family. So I can feel relatively confident than what I'm giving away is actually being used in the manner I want it to be used.

So I woke up early and was among the first 4 people in line for the Cut-a-thon. I don't have a lot to cut so it was probably for naught but I like having my hair blown out by someone else. One less thing for me to have to work on.

After work I went to mom's. And no, I did not go shopping. I did not take one step into any mall on Friday. I was thinking about it but one thing always happens on those days when I go out and brave the chaos. I always end up buying something (or various somethings) for myself. No presents are usually purchased for other people on black friday. Here's the thing; my birthday is in November and because I'm a relatively faithful shopper to a certain few stores they send me birthday coupons and birthday gift cards and the gift cards in conjunction with the sales means I walk away with either a free or a cheap item for myself.

I got myself some beautiful plates from Macy's for myself. I'm not gonna lie; I didn't consider Trevor's feelings in the slightest in the purchase of these plates. It's unnatural to love plates as much as I love these plates. I don't know why, but they speak to me. I think I like them because (although they are not actually) they look like hand painted watercolors and I have a soft spot for artisan stuff. Like if I had the patience to do so I'd kiln and glaze all my own plates like this.

Plus Trevor and I do not see eye to eye on all things even though we generally have the same taste. I don't understand it. I think that due to the fact I see and use our plates and serveware a lot more I appreciate and understand what will coordinate with what we have already. Whereas Trevor will pick whatever he happens to like in that moment even if it totally doesn't coordinate with anything. I'm mildly worried about furnishing the house we may get. I think it may be easier to instead of trying to work together, that we divide and conquer instead. ie: I get to pick out all the textiles and wall coverings for the living room if you get the family room.

The house? Um....since it's not in stone yet I don't want to talk too much about the house other than to say it may happen. And that I do not want to do a totally contemporary Ikea-esk feeling to the home because it's too modern to go with the era which the house was originally built. I feel like we'd be doing a disservice to the home if we didn't make it a point to enhance the existing beauty. I usually like that sterile, white-on-white-on-white, really modern, minimalist, hard angles, cold look but I don't live in California and it seems silly to force a historic home to be something it's not. A historic home needs a warmer palette and richer textiles.

It'll be fun to figure out that middle ground without having a hodge podge like we currently have.

If we move I am promised a new couch. Devin kicked loose the right arm of my couch right now and we're just tolerating it for the moment. I think I may not know what to do with myself if I had a house that was fully functional and furnished in a way I'm not ashamed of. How else would I fill my free hours?

Bananas for Bananas

I have a weakness for food on sale. As an example, bananas. I don't even really EAT bananas but I buy them. I also don't eat peanut butter but I buy it. I have every intention of giving those jars to food shelters. (So at least that's semi-forgivable) But with bananas I buy them with the intention of eating them and then I realize I don't really like eating them unless they are sliced and floating around in my cereal. Sweet not-as-healthy-for-you cereal at that. I'm fond of Golden Grahams. Honey Bunches of Oats. Something sorta sweet but no marshmallows. I can't get behind dried up marshmallows.

Anyway...bananas turn an ugly shade of black and fruit flies invade my home. And only then do I think "hey, maybe I should do something about this."

I made a banana cheesecake, 20something banana bread muffins and only after hours of the oven cranking away was I free of those putrid bananas.

Mind you, I like banana desserts a lot but the sense of obligation to make them kind of makes it less fun.

So after not doing this in um...forever?!? I'm posting a recipe for banana bread. The old standby of using up bananas. I like muffin form because it's less commitmental and I don't have to cut anything and dirty up a knife. This is a modified version of something The Barefoot Contessa makes but I like it because everything is nice round numbers. No, 2 1/4 cup of this and 1/3 cup of that.

Banana Bread with a Crunch
Oven 350F (the old standby...I think almost everything bakes at 350F)
DRY STUFF
3 cups flour
2 cups sugar
2 tsps baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
WET STUFF
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 apple sauce (I happen to have this hanging around, otherwise you can use 1 full cup oil)
2 eggs
3/4 cup milk
Mashed up banana goo. I had 3 bananas.
1 tsp vanilla extract
OTHER
1 cup oats
1 cup shredded coconut
1 cup walnuts chopped
chocolate chips (optional)

Mix all dry stuff. If you're super ambitious sift it all. It mixes together with less lumps if you take the time to sift. I am lazy so I just mixed by hand (less stuff to clean up later). Mix all your wet goo together and then add it to your dry. The trick to any tender quick breads is NOT mixing the tar out of it. Then gently mix the "other" in. The "other" isn't really standard banana bread stuff persay but it adds a lot of texture and flavor. And it makes me feel healthier to see oats in there. I know sugar laden baked goods aren't healthy but just let me pretend...okay?

Standard Muffins? 20 minutes should do it. Fill only 2/3s of the way up. They WILL lift and the will make a mess of your oven. Loaf pan? give it at least 40 and then check on it. Everyone's oven is different.

On a side note? I don't even really like consuming cheesecake THAT much but my dad does like it when I make some from scratch. Clearly it was a mistake introducing him to the "good stuff." So I made a banana cheesecake for him. I'll bring it over tonight since mom is prepping a b'day meal for me. Since I had the oven going I also made lasagna for dinner yesterday. My husband likes lasagna. I'm happier with normal pasta or raviolis since it takes a lot more assembly to do lasagna. After I finally turned the oven off I thought it was funny that for my birthday I was making things other people liked. I should really have just made food I like. Clearly I have become a softie.